A thought...

You can't think your way into "right" thinking...you act your way into it.

Keep staying strong.

~c.m.

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Part Good, Part Not-So-Good

June 11 - Guilt is a cunning weapon in the armory of the compulsive gambler.  We can use the weapon against ourselves in many subtle ways; it can be deftly wielded, for example, in an attempt to convince us that the Gamblers Anonymous Program doesn't really work.  I have to protect myself constantly against guild and self-accusations concerning my past.  If necessary, I must constantly "re-forgive" myself, accepting myself as a mixture of good as well as bad. 

Am I striving for spiritual progress?  Or will I settle for nothing less than the human impossibility of spiritual perfection?

Today I Pray - May I look inside myself now and then for any slow-burning, leftover guilt that can, when I'm unwary, damage my purpose.  May I stop kicking myself and pointing out my own imperfections - all those lesser qualities which detract from the ideal and "perfect" me.  May I no longer try to be unreachably, inhumanly perfect, but just spiritually whole.

Today I Will Remember - I ah human - part good, part not-so-good.

Tip 10: Coping with Urges

Leaving cash, checks, and credit cards behind, go and meet with someone.

Name Them, Claim Them, Dump Them

June 10 - When I least expect it, my keen addictive mind will try to divert me back toward my old ideas and old ways.  My mind is expert, in fact, at planting and nourishing negative feelings within me - feelings such as envy, fear, anxiety, or guilt.  The minute I spot any of these poisonous feelings rising up, I have to deal with them.  If not, the more I think about them, the stronger they'll get; the stronger they get, the more I'll think about them - to the point of obsession.

When negative feelings arise, do I "name them, claim them, and dump them"?

Today I Pray - I should know - and may I never forget - that a sure way to let my feelings get the best of me is to pretend they aren't there.  Like spoiled offspring, they act up when they are ignored.  But also like offspring, they are here, they are mine, and I am responsible for them.  May I learn to pay attention to my feelings, even if sometimes I would rather make believe they didn't belong to me.

Today I Will Remember - Name them, claim them, dump them.

Not the Star of the Show

June 9 - Some of us, new in Gamblers Anonymous, couldn't resist telling anyone who would listen just how "terrible" we were.  Just as we often exaggerated our modest accomplishments by pride, so we exaggerated our defects through guild.  Racing about and "confessing all," we somehow considered the widespread exposure of our sins to be true humility, considering it a great spiritual asset.  Only as we grew in the Program did we realize that our theatrics and storytelling were merely forms of exhibitionism.  And with that realization came the beginning of a certain amount of humility.


Am I starting to become aware that I'm not so important, after all?

Today I Pray - May I learn that there is a chasm of difference between real humility and the dramatic self-put-down.  May I be confronted if I unconsciously demand center-stage to out-do and out-risk others with my gambling stories.  May I be cautious that the accounts of my addictive misdeeds do not take on the epic grandeur of heroic exploits.  May I avoid the bordering on prideful "game-ologue."

Today I Will Remember - I will not star in my own "game-ologue."

Tip 9: Coping with Urges

Telephone someone you trust.  Tell him or her about your urge to gamble.