Gam-Anon: How to help a parent

1. Help yourself first. Do not take on the burden, financial or emotional, of the addict. Give yourself permission to step back. Offer support to your parents, and encourage them to get help, but do not blame yourself.
2. Don't do it alone. Seek the support of others who have gone through the same thing or see a therapist to sort out your own feelings.  Gam-Anon is a fellowship for loved ones of problem gamblers. The organization's website has a list of meeting schedules by state.  If your parents are open to getting help for themselves, refer them to Gamblers Anonymous, which offers free help through the 12 Steps recovery program.
3. Set money management boundaries. Ensure that your own finances are not at risk. You can also offer to take control of the gamblers' finances until they are rehabilitated.  If the gambler refuses to give up control of finances, let it go. Let them know that you are willing to listen and offer support when and if they are ready. You cannot force them into giving up control of their finances or into quitting gambling. Be clear that you are there for them if they want to talk in the future, but you will not loan them money for gambling.
4. Decide how you will handle requests for money. Problem gamblers often become good at manipulating loved ones into giving them money to support their addiction. Have a plan in place so you will not enable the gambler or demean yourself or your finances.  If your parents approach you for money, tell them directly how you feel. For example, "I won't lend you money or lie for you to cover your losses, but I can help you find support for your problem."