Thursday, January 31, 2013
Own your Feelings
January 31 - One of the most constructive things I can do is to learn to listen to myself and get in touch with my true feelings. For years, I tuned myself out, going along, instead, with what others felt and said. Even today, it sometimes seems that they have it all together, while I'm still stumbling around. Thankfully, I'm beginning to understand that people pleasing takes many forms. Slowly but steadily, I've also begun to realize that it's possible for me to change my old patterns.
Will I encourage myself to tune in to the real me? Will I listen carefully to my own inner voice with the expectation that I'll hear some wonderful things?
Today I Pray - I pray that I may respect myself enough to listen to my real feelings, those emotions that for so long I refused to hear or name or own, emotions that fester in me like a poison. May I know that I need to stop often, look at my feelings, and listen to the inner me.
Today I Will Remember - I will own my feelings.
Will I encourage myself to tune in to the real me? Will I listen carefully to my own inner voice with the expectation that I'll hear some wonderful things?
Today I Pray - I pray that I may respect myself enough to listen to my real feelings, those emotions that for so long I refused to hear or name or own, emotions that fester in me like a poison. May I know that I need to stop often, look at my feelings, and listen to the inner me.
Today I Will Remember - I will own my feelings.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Gambling Abstinence is an Ongoing Miracle
January 30 - Have I gained freedom simply because one day I was weak and the next day I became suddenly strong? Have I changed from the helpless and hopeless person I once seemed to be simply by resolving, "from now on, things will be different"? Is the fact that I am more comfortable today than ever before the result of my own will power? Can I take credit for pulling myself up by my own boot straps? I know better, for I sought refuge in a Power greater than myself - a Power that is still beyond my ability to visualize.
Do I consider the change in my life a miracle far beyond the working of any human power?
Today I Pray - As the days of abstinence lengthen, and the moment of decision becomes father behind me, may I never lose sight of the Power that changed my life. May I remember that my abstinence is an ongoing miracle, not just a once in a lifetime transformation.
Today I Will Remember- Life is an ongoing miracle.
Do I consider the change in my life a miracle far beyond the working of any human power?
Today I Pray - As the days of abstinence lengthen, and the moment of decision becomes father behind me, may I never lose sight of the Power that changed my life. May I remember that my abstinence is an ongoing miracle, not just a once in a lifetime transformation.
Today I Will Remember- Life is an ongoing miracle.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
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A Clear Morning Scatters Nightmares
January 29 - I used to imagine my life as a grotesque abstract painting: a montage of crises framed by end upon end catastrophes. My days all were grey and my thoughts greyer still. I was haunted by dread and nameless fears. I was filed with self-loathing. I had no idea who I was, what I was, or why I was. I miss none of those feelings. Today, step by step, I am discovering myself and learning that I can be free to be me.
Am I grateful for my new life? Have I taken the time to thank God today for the fact that I am clean and alive?
Today I Pray - May calm come to me after the turmoil and nightmares of the past. As my fears and self-hatred dissipate, may the things of the spirit replace them. For in the spiritual world, as in the material world, there is no empty space. May I be filled with the spirit of my Higher Power.
Today I Will Remember - A clear morning scatters nightmares.
Am I grateful for my new life? Have I taken the time to thank God today for the fact that I am clean and alive?
Today I Pray - May calm come to me after the turmoil and nightmares of the past. As my fears and self-hatred dissipate, may the things of the spirit replace them. For in the spiritual world, as in the material world, there is no empty space. May I be filled with the spirit of my Higher Power.
Today I Will Remember - A clear morning scatters nightmares.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Free at Last
January 28 - Now that I am in GA, I am no longer enslaved by the compulsion to place the next bet. Free, free at last from fabricating the elaborate alibis - and hoping they won't unravel. Free from the guild and shame. Free form the worry about bookies and loan companies. Free from the ever burgeoning mountain of debt.
Do I treasure my freedom from compulsive gambling?
Today I Pray - Praise God that I am free from the urge to gamble. This is my first freedom, from which other freedoms will develop - freedom to appraise my behavior sanely and constructively, freedom to grow as a person, freedom to maintain relationships with others on a sound basis. I will never cease to thank my Higher Power for leading me away from my enslavement.
Today I Will Remember - Praise God for my freedom.
Do I treasure my freedom from compulsive gambling?
Today I Pray - Praise God that I am free from the urge to gamble. This is my first freedom, from which other freedoms will develop - freedom to appraise my behavior sanely and constructively, freedom to grow as a person, freedom to maintain relationships with others on a sound basis. I will never cease to thank my Higher Power for leading me away from my enslavement.
Today I Will Remember - Praise God for my freedom.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Live for Today and be Gamble Free
January 27 - I can attain real dignity, importance, and individuality only by a dependence on a Power that is great and good, beyond anything I can imagine or understand. I will try my utmost to call on this Power in making all my decisions. Even though my human mind cannot forecast what the outcome will be, I will try to be confident that whatever comes will be for my ultimate good.
Just for today, will I try to live this day only, and not tackle all my life problems at once?
Today I Pray - May I make no decision, engineer no change in the course of my life stream, without calling upon my Higher Power. May I have faith that God's plan for me is better than any scheme I could devise for myself.
Today I Will Remember - God is the architect. I am the builder.
Just for today, will I try to live this day only, and not tackle all my life problems at once?
Today I Pray - May I make no decision, engineer no change in the course of my life stream, without calling upon my Higher Power. May I have faith that God's plan for me is better than any scheme I could devise for myself.
Today I Will Remember - God is the architect. I am the builder.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Personal Freedom from Gambling
January 26 - Personal freedom is mine for the taking. No matter how close the ties of love and concern that bind me to my family and friends, I must always remember that I am an individual, free to be myself and live my own life in serenity and joy. The key word in this realization is personal. For I can free myself from many involvements that seem necessary. Through the GA Program, I am learning to develop my own personality.
Am I reinforcing my personal freedom by leaving others free to control their actions and destinies?
Today I Pray - May I find personal freedom, by reevaluating associations, establishing new priorities, gaining respect for my own person-hood. May I give others equal room to find their own kinds of personal freedoms.
Today I Will Remember - Take the liberty; it's yours.
Am I reinforcing my personal freedom by leaving others free to control their actions and destinies?
Today I Pray - May I find personal freedom, by reevaluating associations, establishing new priorities, gaining respect for my own person-hood. May I give others equal room to find their own kinds of personal freedoms.
Today I Will Remember - Take the liberty; it's yours.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Change Gamblers Behavior from Inside
January 25 - Even with a growing understanding of the GA Program and its Twelve Steps, we sometimes may find it difficult to believe that our new way of life leads to personal freedom. Suppose, for example, I feel imprisoned in an uncomfortable job or troublesome personal relationship. What am I doing about it? In the past, my reflex reaction was to try to manipulate the things and people around me into being more acceptable to me. Today, I realize that happiness can't be won that way.
Am I learning that freedom from despair and frustration can come only from changing in myself the attitudes that are perpetuating the conditions that cause me grief?
Today I Pray - May I be given clear eyes to see - and then to stop myself - when I am manipulating the lives of those around me, my daily associates, friends, family. May I always be aware of change that must begin within myself.
Today I Will Remember - Change from the inside out.
Am I learning that freedom from despair and frustration can come only from changing in myself the attitudes that are perpetuating the conditions that cause me grief?
Today I Pray - May I be given clear eyes to see - and then to stop myself - when I am manipulating the lives of those around me, my daily associates, friends, family. May I always be aware of change that must begin within myself.
Today I Will Remember - Change from the inside out.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
What is a cross addiction?
Cross Addiction?
It happens when a person recovering from addiction to one substance transfers those addictive behaviors to something else. For example, someone in recovery from alcohol abuse might successfully be able to manage that addiction only to latch onto destructive gambling behaviors.
Cross addiction isn’t triggered by lack of willpower. In fact, it’s a medical condition with roots in biology. An addicted person’s brain seeks out compulsive behaviors. In other words, the brain finds a new drug. And, for some people, that new “drug” is gambling, whether it’s sports betting or slot machines.
Excessive gambling behaviors can have serious and far-reaching consequences for the person recovering from addiction and his or her family:
Problem gambling creates a new set of challenges. Unlike drug or alcohol abuse, there are few physical signs there’s a problem, which is why it’s often called the silent addiction. People addicted to gambling often hide their behavior. For example, a spouse may not realize the extent of a partner’s betting activities until a foreclosure notice arrives.
Gambling can trigger a relapse. Gambling tends to be much more exciting for a recovering person than someone without addictive behaviors. This kind of high excitement triggers chemical reactions which feel just like using drugs or alcohol to the brain.
In addition, excessive gambling creates stress. It causes financial difficulties, relationship problems, and work issues—and those stresses can sabotage the recovery of an alcohol or drug addicted person. What’s more, the environment of casinos and wagering facilities often promotes alcohol use.
It happens when a person recovering from addiction to one substance transfers those addictive behaviors to something else. For example, someone in recovery from alcohol abuse might successfully be able to manage that addiction only to latch onto destructive gambling behaviors.
Cross addiction isn’t triggered by lack of willpower. In fact, it’s a medical condition with roots in biology. An addicted person’s brain seeks out compulsive behaviors. In other words, the brain finds a new drug. And, for some people, that new “drug” is gambling, whether it’s sports betting or slot machines.
Excessive gambling behaviors can have serious and far-reaching consequences for the person recovering from addiction and his or her family:
Problem gambling creates a new set of challenges. Unlike drug or alcohol abuse, there are few physical signs there’s a problem, which is why it’s often called the silent addiction. People addicted to gambling often hide their behavior. For example, a spouse may not realize the extent of a partner’s betting activities until a foreclosure notice arrives.
Gambling can trigger a relapse. Gambling tends to be much more exciting for a recovering person than someone without addictive behaviors. This kind of high excitement triggers chemical reactions which feel just like using drugs or alcohol to the brain.
In addition, excessive gambling creates stress. It causes financial difficulties, relationship problems, and work issues—and those stresses can sabotage the recovery of an alcohol or drug addicted person. What’s more, the environment of casinos and wagering facilities often promotes alcohol use.
Accept Gambling Addiction, Change Behavior
January 24 - Among the many gifts that we re offered in the GA Program is the gift of freedom. Paradoxically, however, the gift of freedom is not without a price tag; freedom can be achieved only by paying the price called acceptance. Similarly, if we can surrender to God's guidance, it will cost us our self-will, that "commodity" so precious to those of use who have always thought we could and should run the show.
Is my freedom today worth the price tag of acceptance?
Today I Pray - May God teach me acceptance - the ability to accept the things I cannot change. God also grant me courage to change those things I can. God help me to accept the illness of my addiction and give me the courage to change my addictive behavior.
Today I Will Remember - Accept the addiction. Change the behavior.
Is my freedom today worth the price tag of acceptance?
Today I Pray - May God teach me acceptance - the ability to accept the things I cannot change. God also grant me courage to change those things I can. God help me to accept the illness of my addiction and give me the courage to change my addictive behavior.
Today I Will Remember - Accept the addiction. Change the behavior.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Become willing to recover
January 23 - We must never be blinded by the futile philosophy that we are just the hapless victims of our inheritance, of our life experience, and of our surroundings - that these are the sole forces that make our decisions for us. This is not the road to freedom. We have to believe that we can really choose. As addictive persons, we lost our ability to choose whether we would pursue our illness. Yet we finally did make choices that brought about our recovery.
Do I believe that in "becoming willing," I have made the best of all choices?
Today I Pray - May I shed the idea that I am the worlds' victim, and unfortunate creature caught in a web of circumstance, inferring that others ought to "make it up to me" because I have been given a bad deal on this earth. We are always given choices. May God help me choose wisely.
Today I Will Remember - God is not a puppeteer.
Do I believe that in "becoming willing," I have made the best of all choices?
Today I Pray - May I shed the idea that I am the worlds' victim, and unfortunate creature caught in a web of circumstance, inferring that others ought to "make it up to me" because I have been given a bad deal on this earth. We are always given choices. May God help me choose wisely.
Today I Will Remember - God is not a puppeteer.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
20% of recovered alcoholic develop gambling addiction
Gambling and alcohol addiction treatment should be treated together
as a dual disorder. A major study was done in 2002 (and published in
Alcohol Research and Health) that proved that problematic gambling was
more common in people with alcohol abuse or dependence issues. The
study suggested that people who were not addicted to alcohol were less
likely to become addicted to gambling and investigated the idea that
there was no broadly accepted explanation for the concurrence of these
two problems in one person.
Common factors that lead to alcohol addiction treatment seem to be present in a gambling disorder. For instance decreased function in the brain may be responsible for both conditions. Brain imaging has shown that both disorders seem to appear in people with similar brain sizes. There may also be a genetic linkage that would encourage the disorders to coexist together.
This study also showed that gamblers were 3.8 times more likely to drink than non-gamblers. The risk for drinkers to gamble was four times higher than those who were not drinkers. Out of 100 patients studied with alcohol dependency fourteen percent also suffered from a gambling problem. A similar large study in Australia found that 48 percent of alcoholics also seemed to have a gambling problem at one point in their life.
Yet another disturbing finding of this study was that 20% of recovered alcoholics tended to develop a gambling habit after being released from alcoholic addiction treatment. The implication of this is that one habit (gambling) might be substituting for the other (drinking) once the person has unit.
From: http://www.abttc.net/gambling-and-alcohol-addiction-treatment/
Common factors that lead to alcohol addiction treatment seem to be present in a gambling disorder. For instance decreased function in the brain may be responsible for both conditions. Brain imaging has shown that both disorders seem to appear in people with similar brain sizes. There may also be a genetic linkage that would encourage the disorders to coexist together.
This study also showed that gamblers were 3.8 times more likely to drink than non-gamblers. The risk for drinkers to gamble was four times higher than those who were not drinkers. Out of 100 patients studied with alcohol dependency fourteen percent also suffered from a gambling problem. A similar large study in Australia found that 48 percent of alcoholics also seemed to have a gambling problem at one point in their life.
Yet another disturbing finding of this study was that 20% of recovered alcoholics tended to develop a gambling habit after being released from alcoholic addiction treatment. The implication of this is that one habit (gambling) might be substituting for the other (drinking) once the person has unit.
From: http://www.abttc.net/gambling-and-alcohol-addiction-treatment/
Have the Freedom to Recover
January 22 - In a very real sense, we are imprisoned by our inability or unwillingness to reach out for help to a Power greater than ourselves. But, in time, we pray to be relieved of the bondage of self, so that we can better do God's will. In the words of Ramakhrisna, "The sun and moon are not mirrored in cloudy waters, thus the Almighty cannot be mirrored in a heart that is obsessed by the idea of 'me and mine.'"
Have I set myself free form the prison of self-will and pride that I myself have built? Have I accepted freedom?
Today I Pray - May the word freedom take on new meanings for me, not just "freedom from" my addiction, but "freedom to" overcome it. Not just freedom form the slavery of self-will, but freedom to hear and carry out the will of God.
Today I Will Remember - Freedom means freedom to.
Have I set myself free form the prison of self-will and pride that I myself have built? Have I accepted freedom?
Today I Pray - May the word freedom take on new meanings for me, not just "freedom from" my addiction, but "freedom to" overcome it. Not just freedom form the slavery of self-will, but freedom to hear and carry out the will of God.
Today I Will Remember - Freedom means freedom to.
Monday, January 21, 2013
First Step is a Giant Step
January 21 - Every person is a part of the Divine economy. We are all children of God, and it is unlikely that He intends to favor one over another. So it is necessary for all of us to accept whatever positive gifts we receive with a deep humility. We need always to bear in mind that our negative attitudes were first necessary as a means of reducing us to a state in which we would be ready for the gift of positive attitudes through the conversion experience.
Do I accept the fact that my addiction and the bottom I finally reached are the bedrock upon which my spiritual foundation rests?
Today I Pray - May I know that from the first moment I admitted my powerlessness, God-given power was mine. Every step taken from that moment of defeat has been a step in the right direction. The First Step is a giant step. Though it is often taken in despair, may I realize that I must be drained of hope before I can be refiled with fresh hope, sapped of willfulness before I can feel the will of God.
Today I Will Remember - Power through powerlessness.
Do I accept the fact that my addiction and the bottom I finally reached are the bedrock upon which my spiritual foundation rests?
Today I Pray - May I know that from the first moment I admitted my powerlessness, God-given power was mine. Every step taken from that moment of defeat has been a step in the right direction. The First Step is a giant step. Though it is often taken in despair, may I realize that I must be drained of hope before I can be refiled with fresh hope, sapped of willfulness before I can feel the will of God.
Today I Will Remember - Power through powerlessness.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
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Dwell on the Solution to Gambling Problems
January 20 - I understand that, when I allow myself to dwell on the problem, the problem will worsen. But when I dwell on the solution, the situation will improve. My problems with money today have much less significance when I focus on my recovery and continued abstinence rather than spending my time wishing I had no debts. My past grand illusions of debt-free wealth are today just that: illusions. My happiness today depends on my acceptance of the financial burdens I have created - and the plans I have to repay them in some reasonable fashion.
Do I understand that my patience in these matters is an important ingredient of my recovery?
Today I Pray - May I remember that my life took many turns for the worse - over a long period of time. My recovery will follow a similar process in reverse, taking many turns for the better - over a long period of time.
Today I Will Remember - My shortcomings are long only if I let them linger.
Do I understand that my patience in these matters is an important ingredient of my recovery?
Today I Pray - May I remember that my life took many turns for the worse - over a long period of time. My recovery will follow a similar process in reverse, taking many turns for the better - over a long period of time.
Today I Will Remember - My shortcomings are long only if I let them linger.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Recovering Gamblers must erase arrogant pride
January 19 - It was far easier for me to accept my powerlessness over gambling than it was for me to accept the notion that some sort of Higher Power could accomplish what I had been unable to accomplish myself. Simply by seeking help and accepting the fellowship of others similarly afflicted, the craving left me. And I realized that, if I was doing what I was powerless alone to do, then surely I was doing so by some Power outside my own that was obviously greater.
Have I surrendered my life into the hands of God?
Today I Pray - May God erase in me the arrogant pride that keeps me from listening to Him. May my unhealthy dependence on gambling and my clinging dependence on those nearby be transformed into reliance on God. Only in this kind of dependence / reliance on a Higher Power will I find my own transformation.
Today I Will Remember - I am God-dependent.
Have I surrendered my life into the hands of God?
Today I Pray - May God erase in me the arrogant pride that keeps me from listening to Him. May my unhealthy dependence on gambling and my clinging dependence on those nearby be transformed into reliance on God. Only in this kind of dependence / reliance on a Higher Power will I find my own transformation.
Today I Will Remember - I am God-dependent.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Can't stop gambling alone
January 18 - If we are determined to stop gambling, there must be no reservations whatsoever, nor any lurking notion that our obsession will someday reverse itself. Our regeneration comes through the splendid paradox of the Twelve Steps: strength arises from complete defeat, and the loss of one's old life is a condition for finding a new one.
Am I convinced that in powerlessness, power comes? Am I certain that, by releasing my life and will, I am released?
Today I Pray - May I know power through powerlessness, victory through surrender, triumph through defeat. May I learn to relinquish any trace of secret price that I can "do it by myself." Let my will be absorbed and steered by the omnipotent will of God.
Today I Will Remember - Let go and let God.
Am I convinced that in powerlessness, power comes? Am I certain that, by releasing my life and will, I am released?
Today I Pray - May I know power through powerlessness, victory through surrender, triumph through defeat. May I learn to relinquish any trace of secret price that I can "do it by myself." Let my will be absorbed and steered by the omnipotent will of God.
Today I Will Remember - Let go and let God.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
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Reprogram Gambling Brain
January 17 - I have been told over and over that I must constantly work to give up my old ideas. "That's easy for you to say," I've sometimes thought. All my life, I have been programmed, computer-style; specific inputs brought forth predictable responses. My mind still tends to react as a computer reacts, but I am learning to destroy the old tapes and literally reprogram myself.
Am I fully willing to abandon my old ideas? Am I being fearless and thorough on a daily basis?
Today I Pray - Help me to take inventory each day of my stock of new, healthy thoughts, throwing out the old ones as I happen upon them without regret or nostalgia. For I have outgrown those old ideas, which are as scuffed and run-over as an old pair of shoes. Now, in the light, I can see that they are filled with holes.
Today I Will Remember - The Program reprograms.
Am I fully willing to abandon my old ideas? Am I being fearless and thorough on a daily basis?
Today I Pray - Help me to take inventory each day of my stock of new, healthy thoughts, throwing out the old ones as I happen upon them without regret or nostalgia. For I have outgrown those old ideas, which are as scuffed and run-over as an old pair of shoes. Now, in the light, I can see that they are filled with holes.
Today I Will Remember - The Program reprograms.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Surrender to gambling is possible
January 16 - When we first came to GA, whether for ourselves or under pressure from others, some of us were all but sickened by the concept of "surrender." To admit defeat flew in the face of our lifelong beliefs. Some of us thought of the immortal rallying cries of Churchill at Dunkirk, or of FDR following the attack on Pearl Harbor. And so we secretly vowed, at first, that the very idea of surrender was unthinkable.
Have I truly come to believe that only through utter defeat am I able to take the first step toward liberation and strength? Or do I still harbor reservations about the principle of "letting go and letting God"?
Today I Pray - May I really believe that the complete surrender of my whole being to a Higher Power is the way to serenity. For I can be whole only in Him who has the power to make me whole. May I do away with any feelings of wanting to "hold out" and never admit defeat. May I unlearn the old adage which tells me that I must "never give up" and realize that such pridefulness could keep me from recovery.
Today I Will Remember - From wholly His to whole.
Have I truly come to believe that only through utter defeat am I able to take the first step toward liberation and strength? Or do I still harbor reservations about the principle of "letting go and letting God"?
Today I Pray - May I really believe that the complete surrender of my whole being to a Higher Power is the way to serenity. For I can be whole only in Him who has the power to make me whole. May I do away with any feelings of wanting to "hold out" and never admit defeat. May I unlearn the old adage which tells me that I must "never give up" and realize that such pridefulness could keep me from recovery.
Today I Will Remember - From wholly His to whole.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Move on but never forget past gambling pains
January 15 - I must never forget who and what I am and where I come from. I have to remember the nature of my illness and what it was like before I came to GA. I'll try to keep the memory green, yet not spend my time dwelling morbidly on the past. I won't be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to others, so others will give to me.
Can I ever afford to forget what it used to be like, even for one minute?
Today I Pray - May I never forget the painful days of my gambling addiction. May I never forget the same misery awaits me if I should slip back into the old patterns. At the same time, may such backwards glances serve only to bolster my own present strength and the strength of others like me. Please, God, do not let me dredge up these recollections in order to outdo my fellow members with my "war stories." Like others who are compulsive gamblers, I must be wary of my desire to be center stage in the spotlight.
Today I Will Remember - I do more when I don't outdo.
Can I ever afford to forget what it used to be like, even for one minute?
Today I Pray - May I never forget the painful days of my gambling addiction. May I never forget the same misery awaits me if I should slip back into the old patterns. At the same time, may such backwards glances serve only to bolster my own present strength and the strength of others like me. Please, God, do not let me dredge up these recollections in order to outdo my fellow members with my "war stories." Like others who are compulsive gamblers, I must be wary of my desire to be center stage in the spotlight.
Today I Will Remember - I do more when I don't outdo.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Serenity from Gambling
January 14 - I admitted that I couldn't win the gambling battle on my own. So I finally began to accept the critically important fact that dependence on a Higher Power could help me achieve what had always seemed impossible. I stopped running. I stopped fighting. For the first time, I began accepting. And for the first time, I began to be really free.
Do I realize that it doesn't matter what kind of shoes I'm wearing when I'm running away?
Today I Pray - May I know the freedom that comes with surrender to a Higher Power - that most important kind of surrender that means neither "giving in" nor "giving up" but "giving over" my will to the will of God. Like a weary fugitive from spiritual order, may I stop hiding, dodging, running. May I find peace in surrender, in the knowledge that God wills that I be whole and healthy and He will show me the way.
Today I Will Remember - First surrender, then serenity.
Do I realize that it doesn't matter what kind of shoes I'm wearing when I'm running away?
Today I Pray - May I know the freedom that comes with surrender to a Higher Power - that most important kind of surrender that means neither "giving in" nor "giving up" but "giving over" my will to the will of God. Like a weary fugitive from spiritual order, may I stop hiding, dodging, running. May I find peace in surrender, in the knowledge that God wills that I be whole and healthy and He will show me the way.
Today I Will Remember - First surrender, then serenity.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Passwords to Recovery lie in GA Meetings
January 13 - The GA Program and my friends in the Fellowship have provided me with a whole new set of tools for living. If I use all of these tools regularly and well, they'll also help rid me of such negative feelings as guilt, anxiety, rebellion, and pride.
When I'm feeling depressed, do I use the tools that have proved effective? Or do I grit my teeth and suffer in painful silence?
Today I Pray - I praise my wonder-working Higher Power for giving me the tools for recovery, once I admitted I was powerless over gambling and gave myself over to the will of God as I understand Him. I give thanks for the Twelve Steps, and for the fellowship of the group, which can help me see myself honestly. I give thanks for those words and phrases which become, as we understand them more completely, banners in our celebration of life free from gambling.
Today I Will Remember - Pass on the passwords to Recovery.
When I'm feeling depressed, do I use the tools that have proved effective? Or do I grit my teeth and suffer in painful silence?
Today I Pray - I praise my wonder-working Higher Power for giving me the tools for recovery, once I admitted I was powerless over gambling and gave myself over to the will of God as I understand Him. I give thanks for the Twelve Steps, and for the fellowship of the group, which can help me see myself honestly. I give thanks for those words and phrases which become, as we understand them more completely, banners in our celebration of life free from gambling.
Today I Will Remember - Pass on the passwords to Recovery.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Pain is easier to handle when not gambling
January 12 - When I sit quietly and compare my life today with the way it used to be, the difference is almost beyond belief. But things aren't always rosy; some days are a lot better than others. I tend to accept the bad days more easily on an intellectual level than I do emotionally, or at gut-level. There are no pat answers, but part of the solution surely lies in a constant effort to practice all of the Twelve Steps.
Do I accept the fact that my Higher Power will never give me more than I can handle - one day at a time?
Today I Pray - That I may receive strength in the knowledge that God never gives us more than we can bear, that I can always, somehow, endure present pain, whereas the trials of a lifetime, condensed into one disastrous moment, would surely overcome me. Thanks be to God for giving us only those tribulations that are in proportion to our strength, never destroying us in our frailty. May I remember that fortitude grows out of suffering.
Today I Will Remember - Present pain is endurable.
Do I accept the fact that my Higher Power will never give me more than I can handle - one day at a time?
Today I Pray - That I may receive strength in the knowledge that God never gives us more than we can bear, that I can always, somehow, endure present pain, whereas the trials of a lifetime, condensed into one disastrous moment, would surely overcome me. Thanks be to God for giving us only those tribulations that are in proportion to our strength, never destroying us in our frailty. May I remember that fortitude grows out of suffering.
Today I Will Remember - Present pain is endurable.
Friday, January 11, 2013
How to get freedom from gambling
January 11 - The experiences of thousands upon thousands of people have proved that acceptance and faith are capable of producing freedom from gambling. When we apply the same principles of acceptance and faith to our emotional problems, however, we discover that only relative results are possible. Obviously, for example, nobody can ever become completely free from fear, anger, or pride. None of us will ever achieve perfect love, harmony, or serenity. We'll have to settle for very gradual progress, punctuated occasionally by very heavy setbacks.
Have I begun to abandon my old attitude of "all or nothing"?
Today I Pray - May God grant me the patience to apply those same principles of faith and acceptance that are keys to my recovery to the whole of my emotional being. May I learn to recognize the festering of my own human anger, my hurt, my frustration, my sadness. With the help of my Higher Power, may I find appropriate ways to deal with these feelings without doing harm to myself or others.
Today I Will Remember - Feelings are real - I will acknowledge them.
Have I begun to abandon my old attitude of "all or nothing"?
Today I Pray - May God grant me the patience to apply those same principles of faith and acceptance that are keys to my recovery to the whole of my emotional being. May I learn to recognize the festering of my own human anger, my hurt, my frustration, my sadness. With the help of my Higher Power, may I find appropriate ways to deal with these feelings without doing harm to myself or others.
Today I Will Remember - Feelings are real - I will acknowledge them.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Serenity Prayer
January 10 - Since I came to GA, I've become increasingly aware of the Serenity Prayer. I see it on literature covers, the walls of meeting rooms, and in the homes of new found friends. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Do I understand the Serenity Prayer? Do I believe in its power and repeat it often? Is it becoming easier for me to accept the things I cannot change?
Today I Pray - God grant that the words of the Serenity Prayer never become mechanical for me or lose their meaning in the lulling rhythms of repetition. I pray that these words will continue to take on new depths of significance as I fit life's realities to them. I trust that I may find the solutions I need in this prayer, which, in its simplicity, encompasses all of life's situations.
Today I Will Remember - Share the prayer.
Do I understand the Serenity Prayer? Do I believe in its power and repeat it often? Is it becoming easier for me to accept the things I cannot change?
Today I Pray - God grant that the words of the Serenity Prayer never become mechanical for me or lose their meaning in the lulling rhythms of repetition. I pray that these words will continue to take on new depths of significance as I fit life's realities to them. I trust that I may find the solutions I need in this prayer, which, in its simplicity, encompasses all of life's situations.
Today I Will Remember - Share the prayer.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Compulsive Gamblers must let go of Control
January 9 - In the past, and sometimes even now, I automatically have said, "Why me?" when I'm trying to learn that my first problem is to accept my present circumstances as they are, myself as I am, and the people around me as they are. Just as I finally accepted my powerlessness over gambling, so must I accept my powerlessness over people, places, and things.
Am I learning to accept life on life's terms?
Today I Pray - May I learn to control my urge to control, my compulsion to manage, neaten, organize, and label the lives of others. May I learn to accept situations and people as they are instead of as I would like them to be. Thus, may I do away with the ongoing frustrations that a controlling person, by nature, faces continually. May I be entirely ready to have this defect of character removed.
Today I Will Remember - Control for the controller (me).
Am I learning to accept life on life's terms?
Today I Pray - May I learn to control my urge to control, my compulsion to manage, neaten, organize, and label the lives of others. May I learn to accept situations and people as they are instead of as I would like them to be. Thus, may I do away with the ongoing frustrations that a controlling person, by nature, faces continually. May I be entirely ready to have this defect of character removed.
Today I Will Remember - Control for the controller (me).
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
My Life is a Miracle
January 8 - Today is the day for which I asked and for which I have been given strength. That in itself is a miracle. The fact that I am alive is the great miracle from which all other miracles will flow, providing I continue to do the things that have brought me this far in my new life.
Am I grateful that I have been given this day?
Today I Pray - May God's goodness and mercy follow me all the days of my life. May I never cease to wonder at the greatest miracle in my life - that I am alive, here, on this green earth, and growing healthier with the life-preserving tools I have been given. Since God has chosen to give me life and to preserve my life, even through the dangers of my gambling addiction, may I always continue to listen for His plan for me. May I always believe in miracles.
Today I Will Remember - My life is a miracle.
Am I grateful that I have been given this day?
Today I Pray - May God's goodness and mercy follow me all the days of my life. May I never cease to wonder at the greatest miracle in my life - that I am alive, here, on this green earth, and growing healthier with the life-preserving tools I have been given. Since God has chosen to give me life and to preserve my life, even through the dangers of my gambling addiction, may I always continue to listen for His plan for me. May I always believe in miracles.
Today I Will Remember - My life is a miracle.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Extend a hand in Gamblers Anonymous
January 7 - I'm beginning to see just how unnatural my old life actually was, and that it became increasingly so as my illness progressed. The longer I'm in the Gamblers Anonymous Program, the more comfortable this new way of life seems. At first, it was impossible for me to extend my hand to a newcomer; such an act was wholly unnatural for me. But it is becoming increasingly easier for me to reach out to another person. Sharing my experience, strength, and hope is becoming a natural part of daily living.
Have I learned that I can't keep what I've gotten unless I "give it away"? Will I take the time to share today?
Today I Pray - May I share my love, my joy, my happiness, my time, my hospitality, my knowledge of things on earth, and my faith in a Higher Power. Even though I may not see the results of my acts of sharing, may I take joy in the acts themselves. May sharing, according to God's plan, become as natural to me as speaking or breathing.
Today I Will Remember - Be never sparing in caring and sharing.
Have I learned that I can't keep what I've gotten unless I "give it away"? Will I take the time to share today?
Today I Pray - May I share my love, my joy, my happiness, my time, my hospitality, my knowledge of things on earth, and my faith in a Higher Power. Even though I may not see the results of my acts of sharing, may I take joy in the acts themselves. May sharing, according to God's plan, become as natural to me as speaking or breathing.
Today I Will Remember - Be never sparing in caring and sharing.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Gamblers Anonymous 12 Step Program
January 6 - Gamblers Anonymous, wrote Dr. Robert L. Custer in the foreword to the Gamblers Anonymous Blue Book, is a Program of Twelve Steps "that provides a framework of hope, structure, and friendship" for those who have chosen the road to a "successful adaptation to a life without gambling." He add, "This road can be smooth or rocky, but in any case, it is never a painless journey..." As a recovering compulsive gambler, I can face any discomforts today, knowing that the pain of recovery will never be as acute and as desperate as the pain of my gambling days.
Am I prepared to see each new day in the GA Program as a time for learning, growing, and making healthy choices?
Today I Pray - May I make prudent use of the power of choice that God has given me, to plan wisely, one day at a time, without becoming a slave to apprehension, regret, or anxiety. I pray that God's will be done through the exercising of my own will, which He, in His goodness, has given me.
Today I Will Remember - God wills my will to be.
Am I prepared to see each new day in the GA Program as a time for learning, growing, and making healthy choices?
Today I Pray - May I make prudent use of the power of choice that God has given me, to plan wisely, one day at a time, without becoming a slave to apprehension, regret, or anxiety. I pray that God's will be done through the exercising of my own will, which He, in His goodness, has given me.
Today I Will Remember - God wills my will to be.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Gamblers have luck when not gambling
January 5 - "Today is my lucky day." How often in the past we said that, when it was an empty prophesy. Today, those words are real; I am being given a second change. In my gambling days, I sacrificed every "today" for a dream of some distant tomorrow. Of all that I lost, I grieve most for all those "todays" - I cannot bring them back. But today - this day - I have. I will not sacrifice or waste it.
Do I truly believe that today is mine, that today I can choose to be happy, to grow, and to learn to live, instead of counting on some pie in the sky day in the far-off future?
Today I Pray - I pray that the colors of this day may not be blurred by muted vagaries of the future or dulled by storm gray remnants form the past. I pray that my Higher Power will help me choose my actions and concerns out of the wealth of my busyness that each day offers.
Today I Will Remember - I will not lose for today, if I choose for today.
Do I truly believe that today is mine, that today I can choose to be happy, to grow, and to learn to live, instead of counting on some pie in the sky day in the far-off future?
Today I Pray - I pray that the colors of this day may not be blurred by muted vagaries of the future or dulled by storm gray remnants form the past. I pray that my Higher Power will help me choose my actions and concerns out of the wealth of my busyness that each day offers.
Today I Will Remember - I will not lose for today, if I choose for today.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Gamblers' Heart Beared Much Heavier Hurt
January 4 - For a good part of my life, I saw things mostly in negative terms. Everything was serious, heavy, or just plain awful. Perhaps now I can truly change my attitude, searching our the winners in the GA Program who have learned how to live comfortably in the real world without gambling.
If things get rough today, can I take a quiet moment and say to myself, as the philosopher Homer once said, "Bear patiently, my heart - for you have suffered heavier things"?
Today I Pray - May the peace of God that passes all human understanding fill the place within me that once harbored my despair. May an appreciation for living - even for life's trials - cancel out my old negative attitudes. During heart-heavy moments, help to remind me that my heart was once much heavier still.
Today I Will Remember - I am a winner - in the best sense of the word.
If things get rough today, can I take a quiet moment and say to myself, as the philosopher Homer once said, "Bear patiently, my heart - for you have suffered heavier things"?
Today I Pray - May the peace of God that passes all human understanding fill the place within me that once harbored my despair. May an appreciation for living - even for life's trials - cancel out my old negative attitudes. During heart-heavy moments, help to remind me that my heart was once much heavier still.
Today I Will Remember - I am a winner - in the best sense of the word.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Gambling Compulsion Causes Self Destruction
January 3 - My gambling compulsion is three-fold in that it affects me physically, mentally, and spiritually. As a compulsive gambler, I was totally out of touch, not only with myself, but with reality. Day after miserable day, like a caged animal on a treadmill, I repeated my self-destructive pattern of living.
Have I begun to break away from my old ideas? Just for today can I adjust myself to what is, rather than try to adjust everything to my own desires?
Today I Pray - I pray that I may not be caught up again in the downward, destructive spiral that removed me from myself and from the realities of the world around me. I pray that I may adjust to people and situations as they are, instead of always trying, unsuccessfully and with endless frustration, to bend them to my own desires.
Today I Will Remember - I can change only myself.
Have I begun to break away from my old ideas? Just for today can I adjust myself to what is, rather than try to adjust everything to my own desires?
Today I Pray - I pray that I may not be caught up again in the downward, destructive spiral that removed me from myself and from the realities of the world around me. I pray that I may adjust to people and situations as they are, instead of always trying, unsuccessfully and with endless frustration, to bend them to my own desires.
Today I Will Remember - I can change only myself.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Live in the Now, Don't Borrow from Tomorrow
January 2 - Before I came to the GA Program, I hadn't the faintest idea of what it was to "Live in the Now." I often became obsessed with things that happened yesterday, last week, or even five years ago. Worse yet, many of my waking hours were spent clearing away the "wreckage of the future." "To me, " Walt Whitman once wrote, "every hour of the day and night is an unspeakably perfect miracle."
Can I truly believe that in my heart?
Today I Pray - Let me carry only the weight of twenty-four hours at one time, without the extra bulk of yesterday's regrets or tomorrow's anxieties. Let me breathe the blessings of each new day for itself, by itself, and keep my human burdens contained in daily perspective. May I learn the balance of soul that comes through keeping close to God.
Today I Will Remember - Don't borrow from tomorrow.
Can I truly believe that in my heart?
Today I Pray - Let me carry only the weight of twenty-four hours at one time, without the extra bulk of yesterday's regrets or tomorrow's anxieties. Let me breathe the blessings of each new day for itself, by itself, and keep my human burdens contained in daily perspective. May I learn the balance of soul that comes through keeping close to God.
Today I Will Remember - Don't borrow from tomorrow.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
One Day at a Time for This New Year
January 1 - In the old days, I saw everything in terms of forever. Endless hours were spent rehashing old mistakes. I tried to take comfort in the forlorn hope that tomorrow "would be different." As a result, I lived a fantasy life in which happiness was all about nonexistent. No wonder I rarely smiled and hardly ever laughed aloud.
Do I still think in terms of forever?
Today I Pray - May I set my goals for the New Year not at the year long mark, but one day at a time. My traditional New Year's resolutions have been so grandly stated and so soon broken. Let me not weaken my resolve by stretching it to cover "forever" - or even one long year. May I reapply it firmly each new day. May I learn not to stamp my past mistakes with the indelible word, "forever." Instead, may each single day in each New Year be freshened by my new found hope.
Today I Will Remember - Happy New Day.
Do I still think in terms of forever?
Today I Pray - May I set my goals for the New Year not at the year long mark, but one day at a time. My traditional New Year's resolutions have been so grandly stated and so soon broken. Let me not weaken my resolve by stretching it to cover "forever" - or even one long year. May I reapply it firmly each new day. May I learn not to stamp my past mistakes with the indelible word, "forever." Instead, may each single day in each New Year be freshened by my new found hope.
Today I Will Remember - Happy New Day.
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