Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Gambling Systems Never Work

October 31 - The mystery of ego:  painful when inflated and painful to deflate, often keeping me from wholeheartedly working the the Gamblers Anonymous Program.  Even armed with the truth, I too often fall back on the old, familiar ideas that let me to the edge of despair.  It takes such work to shrink the ego, and sometimes it inflates without my my knowing it.  I always thought my gambling systems would work; they never did.  I doubted GA would work; and it has - one day at  time. 

Am I willing, just for today, to release those old ideas and count on the GA way?

Today I Pray - May I know that a puffed up ego is inappropriate for me as a recovering compulsive gambler.  It hides my faults from me.  It turns people off and gets in the say of my helping others.  It halts my progress because it makes me think I've don't enough self searching and I'm "cured."  I pray to my Higher Power that I may be realistic enough to accept my success in the GA Program without giving in to pride.

Today I Will Remember - Pride can halt progress.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Gamblers Anonymous Gives Light Of Reason

October 30 - When I'm motivated to by pride - by bondage of self - I become partly or even wholly blind to my liabilities and shortcomings.  At that point, the last think I need is comfort.  Instead, I need an understanding friend in the Gamblers Anonymous Program - a friend who'll unhesitatingly chop a hole through the wall my ego has built so that the light of reason can once again shine through.

Do I take time to review my progress, to spot check myself on a daily basis, and to promptly try to remedy my wrongs?

Today I Pray - I pray that the group - or just one friend - will be honest enough to see my slippery manifestations of pride and brave enough to tell me about them.  My self-esteem was starved for so long that, with my first successes in the GA Program, it may swell to the gross proportions of self-satisfaction.  May a view from outside myself give me a true picture of how I am handling the triumph of my abstinence - with grateful humility or with pride.

Today I Will Remember - Self -esteem or self-satisfaction?

Monday, October 29, 2012

Smug Gamblers Must Watch Recovery.

October 29 - Virtually all of us suffered the defect of pride when we sought help through the Program, the Twelve Steps, and the Fellowship of recovering compulsive gamblers who truly understood what we felt and where we had been.  We learned about our shortcomings - and of pride in particular - and began to replace self-satisfaction with gratitude for the miracle of our recovery, gratitude for the privilege of working with others, and gratitude for God's gift, which enabled us to turn catastrophe into growth and good fortune.

Have I begun to realize that "pride is to character as the attic is to the house - the highest part, and generally the most empty"?

Today I Pray - God, please tell me if I am banging my shins on my own pride.  Luckily for me, the Gamblers Anonymous Program has its own built-in check for flaws like this - the clear-eyed vision of the group, which sees in me what I sometimes cannot see myself.  May I know that any kind of success has always gone straight to my head, and be watching for it as I begin to reconstruct my confidence.

Today I Will Remember - Smug "success" can become a setback.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Learn when you Listen

October 28 - I never cease to be amazed at how appropriate the topic at meetings I attend seems to be in relation to my life at that particular time.  We can only become students in the presence of a teacher - and when a student becomes ready, a teacher will appear.  We can only learn if we are being taught, and we can only teach after we learn.  I have come to realize that, although God is the greatest teacher of them all, most often we learn from others He has taught.

Do I learn when I listen?  Do I share what I learn?

Today I Pray - May I not forget those all-important lessons learned in Gamblers Anonymous.  In GA we are all students, and we are all teachers.  May I know that if I do not continue to learn, it may be because I'm not willing to be a student.  If I am not sharing, it may be that I need to be open to more learning.

Today I Will Remember - If I remain teachable, I will continue to find teacher.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Gamblers Anonymous Fourth Step

October 27 - The Gamblers Anonymous Program's Fourth Step suggests that we make a fearless moral and financial inventory of ourselves.  For so many of us, especially newcomers, the task seems impossible.  Each time we take pencils in hand and try to look inward.  Pride says scoffingly, "You don't have to bother to loo."  And Fear cautions, "You'd better not look!"  Eventually we find that pride and fear are mere wisps of smoke, the cloudy strands from which were woven the mythology of our old ideas.  When we push pride and fear aside and finally make a fearless inventory, we experience relief and a new sense of confidence beyond description.

Have I made an inventory?  Have I shared its rewards so as to encourage others?

Today I Pray - May I not be stalled by my inhibitions when it comes to making a moral inventory of myself.  May I not get to the Fourth Step and then screech to stop because the task seems overwhelming.  May I know that my inventory today, even though I try to make it "thorough" and honest, may not be as complete as it will be if I repeat it again, for the process of self-discovery goes on and on.

Today I Pray - Praise God for progress.

Friday, October 26, 2012

But for the Grace of God Go I

October 26 - From time to time when I see the slogan "There, but for the Grace of God Go I," I remember how I used to mouth those words when I saw others whose gambling addiction had brought them to what I considered a "hopeless and helpless" state.  The slogan had long been a cop out for me, reinforcing my denial of my own addiction by enabling me to point to others seemingly worse off than I.  "If I ever get like that, I'll quit gambling," was my often-repeated refrain.  Today, instead, There, but for the Grace of God Go I has become my prayer of thankfulness, reminding me to be grateful to my Higher Power for my recovery, my life, and the way of life I've found in the Gamblers Anonymous Program.

Was anyone ever more "helpless and hopeless" than I?

Today I Pray - May I know that, but for the grace of God, I could be dead or insane by now, because there have been others who started on the path of addictive gambling when I did who are no longer here.  May that same grace of God help those who are still caught in the downward spin, who are heading for disaster as sure as gravity.

Today I Will Remember - I have seen God's amazing grace.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

The Real Thief of Gambling is Gambling

October 25 - My gambling addiction was like a thief in more ways than I count.  It robbed me not only of money, property, and other material things, but of dignity and self-respect, while my family and friends suffered right along with me.  Gambling also robbed me of the ability to treat myself properly, as God would treat me.  Today, in total contrast, I'm capable of true love of self - to the extent that I'm able to provide myself with more love than even I need.  So I give that love away to other people in the Gamblers Anonymous Program, just as they have given their love to me.

Do I thank God for bringing me to a Program in which sick people are loved back to health?

Today I Pray - Thanks be to God for a way of life that generates such love and caring that we in the GA Program can't help but learn to love ourselves.  When I see that someone cares about me, I am more apt to be convinced that perhaps I am, after all, worth caring about.  May I be conscious always of the love I am now able to give - and give it.

Today I Will Remember - Someone caring about me makes me feel worth caring about.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Keep Garden Clear from Gambling Weeds

October 24 - "You cannot play with the animal in you without becoming wholly animal, play with falsehood without forfeiting your right to truth, play with cruelty without losing your sensitivity of mind.  He who wants to keep his garden tidy doesn't reserve a plot for weeds." - Dag Hammerskjold.  If I want to keep my garden tidy, I must always remember not to save a place for weeds and then be caught off-guard.  By putting myself in tempting situations, following the odds or point spreads, checking the lottery payoff, or even listening to my old friend talk, I may be reserving a plot for weeds to grow.

Do I know now that if suddenly I am given or receive money for which I am not accountable, only weeds will spring forth from this situation?

Today I Pray - May I spend more time weeding, fertilizing, and expanding the plots that yield crops of happiness, joy, peace, and serenity, rather than setting aside week plots for misery, pain, and suffering.  May I not forget that those weeds will always be ready to grow unless I am a watchful gardener.

Today I Will Remember - We reap whatever we sow.  


Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Recovering Gamblers Find Own Treasures First

October 23 - "One's own self is well hidden form one's own self," a renowned philosopher once wrote.  "Of all mines of treasure, one's own is the last to be dug up."  The Gamblers Anonymous Twelve Steps of Recovery have enabled me to unearth my "own self," the one that for so long was buried beneath my desperate need for approval from others.  Thanks to the Gamblers Anonymous Program and my Higher Power, I've begun acquiring a true sense of self and a comfortable sense of confidence.  No longer do I have to reach chameleon-like, changing my color from one moment to the next, fruitlessly trying to be all things to all people. 

Do I strive at all times to be true to myself?

Today I Pray - I pray that I may be honest with myself, and that I will continue - with the help of God and my friends - to try to get to know the real me.  May I know that I cannot suddenly be a pulled together, totally defined, completely consistent personality; it may take a while to develop into that personality, to work out my values and my priorities.  May I know now that I have a good start on being who I want to be.

Today I Will Remember - I'm getting to be who I want to be. 

Monday, October 22, 2012

Know Your Heart and Your Mind

October 22 - "Not all those who know their minds know their hearts as well," wrote La Rochefoucauld.  The Gamblers Anonymous Program is of inestimable value for those of us recovering compulsive gamblers who want to know ourselves and who are courageous enough to seek growth through self-examination and self-improvement.  If I remain honest, open-minded, and willing, the GA Program will enable me to rid myself of my self-deceptive attitudes and character flaws that for so long prevented me from growing into the kind of person I want to be.

Do I try to help others understand GA's Twelve Steps of Recovery?  Do I carry the message by examples?

Today I Pray - I ask God's blessing for the Gamblers Anonymous Fellowship, which as shown me so much about myself that I was not willing to face on my own.  May I have the courage to be confronted and to confront, not only to be honest for honesty's sake - which may be reason enough - but to allow myself and the others in the group to grow in self-knowledge.

Today I Will Remember - We are mirrors of each other.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Find Love of Self

October 21 - There's a world of difference between the idea of self-love and love of self.  Self-love is a reflection of an inflated ego, around which - in our distorted view of our own self-importance - everything must revolve.  Self-love is the breeding ground for hostility, arrogance, and a host of other character defects that blind us to any points of view but our own.  Love of self, in contract, is an appreciation of our dignity and value as human beings.  Love of self is an expression of self-realization, from which springs humility.

Do I believe I can love others best when I have gained love of self?

Today I Pray - May God, who loves me, teach me to love myself?  May I notice that the most arrogant and officious humans are not so completely sure of themselves, after all?  Instead, they are apt to have a painfully low self-image, an insecurity that they cloak in pomp and princely trappings.  May God show me that when I can like myself, I am duly crediting Him, since every living thing is a work of God?

Today I Will Remember - I will try to like myself.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Peeled Zero Means Nothing

October 20 - Before I admitted my powerlessness over gambling, I had as much self-worth as a "peeled zero."  I came into Gamblers Anonymous as a nobody who desperately wanted to be a somebody.  In retrospect, my self-esteem was shredded, seemingly beyond repair.  Gradually, the Program has enabled me to achieve an ever strong sense of self-worth.  I've come to accept myself, realizing that I'm not as bad as I had always supposed myself to be.

Am I learning that my self-worth is not dependent on the approval of others, but instead is truly an "inside job"?

Today I Pray - When I am feeling down and worthless, may my Higher Power and my friends in the group help me see that, although I was "fallen," I was not "cast down."  However sick I might have been in my gambling days, with all the self-esteem of an earthworm, may I know that I still had the power of choice.  And I chose to do something about myself.  May that good choice be the basis for my reactivated self-worth.

Today I Will Remember - I will not kick myself when I'm down.

Friday, October 19, 2012

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Don't Judge

October 19 - There are countless ways by which my progress and growth in the Gamblers Anonymous Program can be measured.  One of the most important is my awareness that I'm no longer compelled, almost obsessively, to go around judging everything and everybody.  My only business today is to work on changing myself, rather than other people, places, and things.  In its own way, the obsession of being forever judgemental was as burdensome to me as the obsession of my gambling; I'm grateful that both weights have been lifted from my shoulders.

When I become judgemental, will I remind myself that I am trespassing on God's territory?

Today I Pray - Forgive me my trespasses, when I have become the self-proclaimed judge-and-jury of my peers.  By being judgmental, I have trespassed on the rights on others to judge themselves, and on the rights of God in the Highest Court of all.  May I throw away all my judgmental tools - my own yardstick and measuring tapes, my own comparisons, my unreachable standards - and accept each person as an individual beyond compare.

Today I Will Remember - Throw away old tapes - especially measuring tapes. 

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Real World Offerings

October 18 - Not in my wildest dreams could I have imagined the rewards that would be mine when I first contemplated turning my life and will over to the care of God as I understood Him.  Now I can rejoice in the blessing of my own recovery, as well as the recoveries of countless others who have found hope and a new way of life in the Gamblers Anonymous Program.  After all the years of waste and terror, I realize today that God has always been on my side and at my side.

Isn't my clearer understandings of God's will one of the best things that has happened to me?

Today I Pray - May I be thankful for the blessed contrast between the way my life used to be (Part I) and the way it is now (Part II).  In Part I, I was the practicing gambler, with an insatiable hunger to be in action, adrift among my fears and delusions.  In Part II, I am the recovering compulsive gambler, rediscovering my emotions, accepting my responsibilities, learning what the real world has to offer.  Without the contrast, I could never feel the joy I know today or sense the peaceful nearness of my Higher Power.

Today I Will Remember - I am grateful for such a contrast. 

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Choose the Right Road

October 17 - All my life I searched for what would bring me happiness, traveling many roads, fast and slow.  Most of the roads I chose were easier, softer ways, but the destinations were unsatisfying.  I always turned back and chose another - again the easiest road to travel.  I thought they were short cuts, but instead they swung wide of my goals.  When I finally came to Gamblers Anonymous, it was the only road left for me.

In spite of an occasional pot-hole or speed bump, am I convinced that I'm at last on the right road?  Do I travel the GA way willingly?

Today I Pray - Today I wake up with a choice.  Are my actions and thoughts taking me on that road to relapse, or am I talking and walking the road of recovery?  May I ask my Higher Power for directions, because I am no longer the sole guide of my life.  May I ask no other road sign of progress than a smile I can honestly mean and a clear eye and a mind that can, at last, touch reality.  May my own joy be my answer to my question, "Have I chosen the right road?"

Today I Will Remember - Miracles mark our progress.  Who needs more?

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Giving and Taking ~ A Beautiful Exchange

October 16 - Someone once said that the mind's direction is more important than its progress.  If my direction is correct, then progress is sure to follow.  We first come to Gamblers Anonymous to receive something for ourselves, but soon learn that we receive most bountifully when we give to others.  If the direction of my mind is to give rather than to receive, then I'll benefit beyond my greatest expectations.  The more I give of myself and the more generously I open my heart and mind to others, the more growth and progress I'll achieve.

Am I learning not to measure my giving against my getting, accepting that the act of giving is its own reward?

Today I Pray - May I not lose sight of that Pillar of the Program:  helping myself through helping others in our purpose of achieving comfortable abstinence from gambling.  From the moment I take the First Step of Recovery, may I feel that marvel of giving and taking and giving back again.  May I care deeply about others' maintaining their freedom from gambling, and may I know that they care about me.  It's a simple and beautiful exchange.

Today I Will Remember - Give and take and give back again. 

Monday, October 15, 2012

You're Not the Judge!

October 15 - All too often I unwittingly set standards for others in the Gamblers Anonymous Program.  Worse yet, I expect those standards to be met.  I go so far, on occasion, to decide what progress other people should make in their recoveries, and how their attitudes and actions should change.  Not surprisingly, when things don't work out the way I expect, I become frustrated and even angry.  I have to learn to leave others to God.  I have to learn neither to demand nor expect changes in others, concentrating solely on my own shortcomings.  Finally, I cannot look for perfection in another human being any more than I can expect perfection in myself.

Can I ever be perfect?

Today I Pray - May God ask me to step down immediately if I start to climb up on any of these high places:  on my podium, as the know-it-all scholar; on my soapbox, as the leader who's out to change the world; into my pulpit, as the holier-than-though-could-possibly-be messenger of God; into the seat of judgment, as the gavel-banging upholder of the law.  May God please keep me from vesting myself with all this unwarranted authority and keep me humble.

Today I Will Remember - A heavy hand is not a helping hand. 

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Making Progress One Day At A Time

October 14 - "Fundamental progress has to do with the reinterpretation of basic ideas," wrote Alfred North Whitehead.  When we review the ups and down of our recovery in Gamblers Anonymous, we can see the truth of that statement.  We make progress each time we get rid of an old idea, each time we uncover a character defect, each time we become ready to have that defect removed.  We make progress, one day at a time, as we shun that first bet, that first addictive act that could so quickly swerve us from the path of growth onto the path of despair.

Do I consider the progress I've made since I came to Gamblers Anonymous?

Today I Pray - May I remember that there are a few new ideas in this world, only old ones reinterpreted and restated.  May I be always conscious of the big things in life - like love, brotherhood, God, abstinence from addictive behaviour - become more finely defined in each human life.  So may the Twelve Steps of Recovery be redefined in each of our lives, as we keep in mind that these are time-tried principles that work!

Today I Will Remember - The Twelve Steps work.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Stepping Stones a Pathway for Healthy Attitude

October 13 - My progress in recovery depends in large measure on my attitude, and my attitude is up to me.  It's the way I decide to look at things.  Nobody can force an attitude on me.  For me, a good attitude is a point of view unclouded by self-pity and resentments.  There will be stumbling blocks in my path, without a doubt.  But the Gamblers Anonymous Program can be turned into stepping stones for growth.

Do I believe, as Tennyson, put it, "that men may rise on stepping stones of their dead selves to higher things"?

Today I Pray - May God help me cultivate a healthy attitude toward myself, the Gamblers Anonymous Program, and other people.  God, keep me from losing my spiritual stabilizers, which keep me level in purpose and outlook.  Let me ignore self-pity, discouragement, and my tendency to over dramatize.  Let no dead-weight burden throw me out of balance.

Today I Will Remember - With God on my side, I need not be discouraged. 

Friday, October 12, 2012

Be High On Life

October 12 - Many people we meet in Gamblers Anonymous radiate a kind of special glow - a joy in living that shows in their faces and bearing.  They've put aside their obsession with gambling and have progressed to the point where they're "high" on life itself.  Their confidence and enthusiasm are contagious - especially to those who are new in GA.  The astonishing thing to newcomers is that those same joyous people answer were once heavily burdened.  The miracle of their before and after stories and new outlook is living proof that the Program works.

Does my progress in the GA Program serve to carry the message to others?

Today I Pray - I pray that my own transformation through GA - from burdened to unburdened, beaten down to upbeat, careless to caring, tyrannized by gambling to free from gambling - will be as much inspiration for newcomers as the dramatic changes in others' lives have been for me.  May I - like those other joyous ones int he Fellowship - learn how to be "high on life." 

Today I Will Remember - Life is the greatest "high" of them all.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Serenity, Courage, and Wisdom

October 11 - When I say the Serenity Prayer, sometimes over and over, I occasionally lose sight of the prayer's meaning even as I repeat its words.  So I try to think of the meaning of each phrase as I say it, whether aloud or silently.  As I concentrate on the meaning, my understanding grows, along with my capability to realize the difference between what I can change, and what I cannot.

Do I see that most improvements in my life will come from changing my own attitudes and behavior?

Today I Pray - May my Higher Power show me new and deeper meanings in the Serenity Prayer each time I say it.  As I apply it to my life's situations and relationships, may its truth be underlined fro me again and again.  May I realize that serenity, courage, and wisdom are all that I need to cope with living, but that none of these three have value unless they grow out of my trust in a Higher Power.

Today I Will Remember - God's formula for living:  serenity, courage, and wisdom.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Anxiety never solved anything.

October 10 - When we allow our Higher Power to take charge, without reservations on our part, we stop being "anxious."  When we're not anxious about some person or situation, that doesn't mean we're disinterested or have stopped caring.  Just the opposite is true.  We can be interested and caring without being anxious or fearful.  The poised, calm, and faith-filled person brings something positive to every situation.  He or she is able to do the things that are necessary and helpful.

Do I realize how much better prepared I am to do wise and loving things if I banish anxious thoughts and know that God is in charge.

Today I Pray - I pray that I may be rid of the anxiety that I have equated in my mind with really caring about people.  May I know that anxiety is not an item of outerwear that can be doffed like a cap.  May I know that I must have serenity within myself and confidence that God can do a better job than I can - and them my anxiety will lessen.

Today I Will Remember -  Anxiety never solved anything.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Live in the Now, Don't Make Lists for Others

October 9 - I remember once hearing someone in the Gamblers Anonymous Program say, "Life is a series of agreeing or disagreeing with the universe."  There is much truth in that statement, for I'm only a small cog in the machinery of the universe.  When I try to run things my way, I'll experience only frustration and a sense of failure.  If, instead, I learn to let go, success will assuredly be mine.  Then I'll have time to count my blessings, work on my shortcomings, and live fully and richly in the Now.

Do I believe that what I am meant to know I will know if I practice the Eleventh Step - praying only for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out?

Today I Pray - May I take my direction from the Eleventh Step - and not fall into my usual habit of making itemized lists for God of all my please and entreaties and complaints.  May I no longer second-guess God with my specific solutions, but pray only that His will be done.  May I count my blessings instead of my beseechings.

Today I Will Remember - Stop list-making for God.

Monday, October 8, 2012

I am prepared for battle...

October 8 - Determination - our clenched jaw resolve that we can do something about everything - is perhaps the greatest hindrance to achieving serenity.  Our old tapes tell us, "The difficult can be done immediately; the impossible will take a little longer."  So we tighten up and prepare ourselves for battle, even though we know from long experience that our own will dooms us in advance to failure.  Over and over we are told in the Gamblers Anonymous Program that we must "Let Go and Let God."  And we eventually do find serenity when we put aside our own will while accepting God's will for us.

Am I learning to relax my stubborn grip?  Do I allow the solutions to unfold by themselves?

Today I Pray - May I loosen my tight jaw, my tight fists, my general uptightness - onward indications of the "do it all myself" syndrome that has gotten me into trouble before.  May I know from experience that this attitude - "keep a grip on yourself and on everybody else too" - is accompanied by impatience and followed by frustration.  May I merge my own will with the greater will of God.

Today I Will Remember - Loosen up on the stranglehold.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Power of Serenity Prayer

October 7 - When I first read the Serenity Prayer, the word "serenity" itself seemed like an impossibility.  At the time, the word conjured up images of lethargy, apathy, resignation, or grim faced endurance; it hardly seemed a desirable goal.  But I've since found that serenity means none of those things.  Serenity for me today is simply a clear-eyed and realistic way of seeing the world, accompanied by inner peace and strength.  My favorite definition is, "Serenity is like a gyroscope that lets us keep our balance no matter what turbulence swirls around us."

Is that a state of mind worth aiming for?

Today I Pray - May I notice that "serenity" comes first, ahead of courage and wisdom, in the sequence of the Serenity Prayer.  May I believe that "serenity" must also come first in my life.  I must have the balance, realistic outlook, and acceptance that is part of this blessing of serenity before I can go on to the kind of decision making that will bring order to my existence.

Today I Will Remember - Serenity comes first.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Gamblers Can Find Serenity

October 6 - As we "Keep Coming Back" to meetings, we're able to recognize those who have an abundance of serenity.  We are drawn to these people.  To our surprise, we sometimes find that those who seem most grateful for today's blessings are the very ones who have the most serious and continuing problems at home or at work.  Yet they have the courage to turn away from such problems, actively seeking to learn and help others in the Gamblers Anonymous Program.  How have they gotten this serenity?  It must be because they depend less on themselves and their own limited resources - and more on a Power greater than themselves in whom they have confidence.

Am I acquiring the gift of serenity?  Have my actions begun to reflect my inner faith?

Today I Pray - May I never cease to be awed by the serenity I see in others in my group - a serenity that manifests their comfortable surrender to a Higher Power.  May I learn from them that peace of mind is possible even in the thick of trouble.  May I learn, too, that I need to pull back from my problems now and then and draw upon the God-provided pool of serenity within myself.

Today I Will Remember - Serenity is surrender to God's plan.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Back Among the Living

October 5 - Soon after I came to the Gamblers Anonymous Program, I found a Higher Power whom I choose to call God.  I've come to believe that He has all power; if I stay close to Him and do His work well, He provides me not with what I think I want, but with what I need.  Gradually, I'm becoming less interested in myself and my little schemes; at the same time, I'm becoming more interested in seeing what I can contribute to others and to life.

As I become more conscious of God's presence, am I beginning to lose my self centered fears?

Today I Pray - May I see that the single most evident change in myself - beyond my own inner sense of peace - is that I have come out from behind my phony castle walls, dropped the drawbridge that leads into my real village, and crossed it.  I am back among people again, interested in them, caring what happens to them.  May I find my joy here in this peopled reality, now that I have left behind those old self-protective fears and illusions of my own uniqueness.

Today I Will Remember - What is life without other people?

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Cannot Contol Another's Addiction

October 4 - We are powerless over gambling; that admission brought us to the Gamblers Anonymous Program, where we learn through unconditional surrender that there is victory in defeat.  After a time, we learn in Twelfth Step work that we're not only powerless over our own addiction, but over the addiction of others.  We cannot will another person to abstinence from gambling, for example, any more than we can hold back the sunset.  We may minister to another person's physical or emotional needs; we may share with him, cry with him, and take him to meetings.  But we cannot get inside his head and push some soft of magic button that will make him - or her - take that all important First Step.

Do I still sometimes try to play God?

Today I Pray - May I understand my all-too-human need to be the  boss, have the upper hand, be the final authority, even in the humbling business of my own addiction.  May I see how easy it wold be to become a big shot Twelfth Stepper.  May I also see that, no matter how much I care and want to help, I have no control over another's addiction - any more than someone else has over mine.

Today I Will Remember - I cannot engineer another's recovery. 

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Change the Things You Can Change

October 3 - I've learned in Gamblers Anonymous that I am wholly powerless over my compulsion.  At long last, I've conceded my powerlessness; as a result, my life has taken a 180 degree turn for the better.  However, I do have a power, derived from God, to change my own life.  I've learned that acceptance does not mean submission to an unpleasant or degrading situation.  It means accepting the reality of the situation and then deciding what, if anything, I can and will do about it.

Have I stopped trying to control the uncontrollable?  Am I gaining the courage to change the things I can?

Today I Pray - I ask my Higher Power for direction as I learn to sort out the things I can change form the things I can't, for that sorting process does, indeed, require God-given wisdom.  May "The things I cannot change" not give me an excuse for inactivity. May "the things I can" not include managing other people's lives.  May I start to understand my own reality.

Today I Will Remember - Acceptance is not inactivity.  Change is not domination.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Live and Let Live

October 2 - An entire philosophy of life is condensed in the slogan "Live and Let Live."  First we're urged to live fully, richly, and happily - to fulfill our destiny with the joy that comes from doing well whatever we do.  Then comes a more difficult challenge:  let live.  This means accepting the right of every other person to live as he or she wishes, without criticism or judgment from us.  The slogan rules out contempt for those who don't think as we do.  It also warns against resentments, reminding us not to interpret other people's actions as intentional injuries to us.

Am I becoming less tempted to clutter my mind with how others act or live?

Today I Pray - May I live my life to the fullest, understanding that pure pleasure seeking is not pleasure finding, but that God's goodness is here to be shared.  May I partake of it.  May I learn not to take over responsibility for another's adult decisions; that is my old controlling self trying, just one more time, to be the executive director of other people's lives.

Today I Will Remember - Live and Let Live.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Give Yourself a Peace of Mind

October 1 - We can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely.  We can be all by ourselves and still feel happy and content.  What makes the difference?  We feel lonely if we look to other people for something they really can't provide.  No one else can give US peace of mind, an inner sense of acceptance, and serenity.  And when we find ourselves alone, we needn't feel lonely.  God is with us; God's presence is like warmth enfolding us.  The more we're aware of ourselves as beloved by God, the more we're able to feel content and secure - whether we're with others or alone.

Am I experiencing a sense of God at all times and in all places?

Today I Pray - May I understand that we each have our own kind of loneliness - whether we are young and friendless, old and kept waiting by death, bereft, left, running away, or just feeling out of it in a crowd.  May my loneliness be eased a bit by the fact that loneliness is, indeed, a universal feeling that everyone knows first hand - even though some lives seem more empty than others.  May I, and all the lonely people, take comfort in the companionship of God.

Today I Will Remember - Shared loneliness is less lonely.