Monday, December 31, 2012

Look Back at Year of Serenity, Courage, and Wisdom

December 31 - God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change; COURAGE to change the things I can; and WISDOM to know the difference - living one day at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking this world full of wrongs as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that my Higher Power will make all things right if I surrender my willfulness to a Divine Will.

Do I strive above all for those qualities - serenity, courage, and wisdom - that form the cornerstones of my new life?

Today I Pray - May I look back at this past year as a good one, in that nothing I did or said was wasted.  No experience - however insignificant it may have seemed - was worthless.  Hurt gave me the capacity to feel happiness; bad times made me appreciate the good ones; what I regarded as my weaknesses became my greatest strengths.  I thank God for a year of growing. 

Today I Will Remember - Hope is my 'balance brought forwards" - into a new year's ledger.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Surrender and Find Gamblers Anonymous

December 30 - My life before coming to GA was not unlike the lives of so many of us who were cruelly buffeted and tormented by the power of our addiction.  For years, I had been sick and tired.  When I became sick and tired of being sick and tired, I finally surrendered and came to the GA Program.  Now I realize that I had been helped all along by a Higher Power; it was this Power, indeed, that allowed me to live so that I could eventually find a new way of life.

Have I found in the GA Program a measure of serenity previously unknown to me?

Today I Pray - May I realize that my Higher Power has not suddenly come into my life like a stranger opening a door when I knocked.  The Power has been there all along, if I will just remember how many brushes with disaster I have survived by a fraction of time or distance.  Now that I have come to know my Higher Power better, I realize that I must have been saved for something - perhaps for helping others like me.

Today I Will Remember - I am grateful to be alive and recovering.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Success of Gamblers Anonymous is the Twelfth Step

December 29 - The success of the GA Program, I've been taught, lies in large measure in the readiness and willingness of its members to go to any lengths to help other tyrannized by their gambling addiction.  If my readiness and willingness cools, then I stand in danger of losing all that I've gained.  I must never become unwilling to give away what I have, for only by so doing will I be privileged to keep it.

Do I take the Twelfth Step seriously?  What Twelve Step message have I carried today - either through direct help or by example?

Today I Pray - May I never be too busy to answer a fellow compulsive gambler's call for help.  May I never become so wound up in my pursuits that I forget that my own continuing recovery depends on that helping - a half-hour or so on the telephone, a call in person, a lunch date, whatever the situation  calls for.  May I know what my priorities must be.

Today I Will Remember - Helping helps me.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Problem Gambling Toolkit

This document will help provides basic information on screening, assessment, referral, and treatment for problem gambling to substance abuse counselors, mental health therapists, primary care physicians, and social workers. Discusses financial issues and strategies.

Great for those dealing with a compulsive gambler, and also a good read for those who struggle with this addiction.

Download your problem gambling toolkit here

Gamblers Anonymous is a Highway to Freedom

December 28 - The GA Program, for me, is not only a safe place and a philosophy, but a highway to freedom.  The highway leads me toward my spiritual goal of becoming the person I want to be as the result of these Steps.  Sometimes the highway doesn't get me to the goal as quickly as I might wish, but I try to remember that God and I work from different timetables.  But the goal is there, and I know that the Twelve Steps of Recovery will help me reach it.

Have I come to realize that I - and anyone else - can now do what I had always though impossible?

Today I Pray - As I live the GA Program, may I realize more and more that it is a means to an end rather than an end in itself.  May I keep in mind that the kind of spirituality it calls for is never complete, but is the essence of change and growth, a drawing nearer to an ideal state.  May I be way of setting time-oriented goals for myself to measure my spiritual progress.

Today I Will Remember - Timetables are human inventions. 

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Stop Gambling and Start Recovering

December 27 - Two words that I became very aware of even during my gambling days are words that I need to take into my recovery:  stopping and starting.  I must stop gambling and start recovering.  I must start looking within, and stop blaming others.  I must start tuning in to the will of my Higher Power and stop allowing myself to be guided by self-will.  The more I start to see positive results from the GA Program, the more honestly I can look at the negative past actions that led me to misery and despair.

Has recovery given me a mirror to see myself in others?

Today I Pray - May I remember that I could choose to stop my destructive gambling any time, but unless I have started the recovery process through the GA Program and the Twelve Steps, I cannot remain "stopped."  If I keep recovery started, I can keep my gambling stopped.

Today I Will Remember - The life-altering significance of those two words:  stopping and starting.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

History of Gambling in Michigan

Did you know that the first legalized form of gambling in Michigan came in 1933?  Check out the link below to see how it all started.

http://www.michapg.com/history.html



Recovery has a need for a Higher Power

December 26 - None of us can really claim to understand our Higher Power to any extent.  But this I do know:  there is a power beyond my human will that can do wonderful, loving things for me that I can't do for myself.  I see this glorious power at work in my own being, and I see the miraculous results of this same power in the lives of thousands of other recovering compulsive gamblers who are my friends in the GA Program.

Do I need the grace of God and the loving understanding any less now than when I began my recovery?

Today I Pray - May I never forget that my spiritual needs are as great today as they were when I came into GA.  It is so easy to look at others, newer to the recovery process, and regard them as the needy ones.  As I think of myself as increasingly independent, may I never overlook my dependence on my Higher Power.

Today I Will Remember - I will never outgrow my need for God. 

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas

 

A gambling free holiday...
Blessed to be part of a fellowship of healers, healing, and health

Recovering Gamblers Giving and Receiving on Christmas

December 25 - Today is a special day in more ways than one. It's a day that God has made, and I'm alive in God's world.  I know that all things in my life this day are an expression of God's love - the fact that I'm alive, that I'm recovering, and that I'm able to feel the way I feel at this very instant.  For me, this will be a day of gratitude.

Am I deeply grateful for the dawn of this special day, and for all my blessings?

Today I Pray - On this day of remembering God's gift, may I understand that giving and receiving are the same.  Each is part of each.  If I give, I receive the happiness of giving.  If I receive, I give someone else that same happiness of giving.  I pray that I may give myself - my love and my strengths - generously.  May I also receive graciously the love and strengths of others' selves.  May God be our example.

Today I Will Remember - Giving and receiving are equal blessings. 

Monday, December 24, 2012

Christmas Gift to Family is Strong Conviction

December 24 - We came to Gamblers Anonymous as supplicants, literally at the ends of our ropes.  Sooner or later, by practicing GA's Twelve Steps of Recovery, we discover within ourselves a very precious thing.  We uncover a serenity through which we can be comfortable in all places and situations.  We gain strength and grow - with the help of God as we understand Him, with the Fellowship of the Gamblers Anonymous Program, and by applying the Twelve Steps of Recovery to our lives.

Can anyone take my new life from me?

Today I Pray - May my prayers of desperate supplication, which I brought as a newcomer to the GA Program, change to peaceful surrender.  Now that I have seen what can be done through the Program and the endless might of a Higher Power, may my gift to others be that strong conviction.  I pray that those I love will have the faith to find their own spiritual experiences and the blessings of peace.

Today I Will Remember - Peace, inner and outer, is the greatest blessing.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Recovering addicts donate holiday gifts

What a wonderfully inspirational story about recovering addicts during the holidays.

http://www.woodtv.com/dpp/news/local/se_mich/recovering-addicts-hand-out-gifts

Holidays can cause triggers in recovering gamblers

‘Tis the holiday season, that period between Thanksgiving and New Year’s when we spend time with family, exchange laughs with friends, and indulge in a few treats. The inevitable hustle and bustle, however, is often a challenge for gambling-addicted people and their families.

When a person struggles with gambling addiction, the holidays bring on a host of catalysts that can make betting behavior more excessive. This time of year may also cause a relapse in a recovering gambler. Holiday-related triggers include:
  • Stress: 44% of women and 31% of men report feeling increased stress during the holiday season, according to an American Psychological Association (APA) study. It’s all-too-easy to feel overwhelmed by the thought of buying gifts, baking treats, running errands, decorating trees, and finding creative, fun spots for that popular Elf on the Shelf. As a result, a person might turn to excessive gambling because he or she feels it will relieve stress and anxiety.
  • Money: The desire to give family and loved ones everything they want over the holidays may cause a gambler to believe that a Big Win will allow them to grant everyone’s wishes. The bills that quickly follow gift-giving often leave the bank account on the low side, prompting others to look to that Big Win to pay the rent or credit card bills.
  • Loneliness: Not everyone experiences family time over the holiday season. Those who feel lonely or isolated, particularly the elderly, may seek out gambling activities to pass the time or find fellowship with others. People no longer need to travel to place their bets either; online casinos provide activity and social contact for those unable to travel.
Get Help for Compulsive Gambling
End-of-year holidays often bring excessive gambling behavior front-and-center. An addicted person might neglect the family gift exchange in favor of a casino trip. A spouse may discover that their loved one’s addiction has drained the bank account, leaving no money to buy the kids’ Christmas gifts. A loved one might find that the compulsive gambler has exchanged already-purchased gifts for cash.

Don’t wait until New Year’s to make a resolution to cut back on betting or to help a loved one find help for a gambling problem. Excessive gambling is a serious addiction with consequences that will last long after the holiday decorations are packed away.

Adapted from http://www.safestakes.org/blog/

Spiritual confidence helps gamblers during holidays

December 23 - How can I tell if I have begun to be aware of my spirituality.  Sometimes the discovery that we are spiritual beings manifests itself in simple, rather than complicated, evidences: emotional maturity; an end to constant and soul churning resentments; the ability to love and be loved in return; the belief, even without understanding, that a Power beyond us controls the setting and rising sun, bring forth and ends life, and gives joy to human hearts.

Am I now aware, as I try to practice the GA Principles in all my affairs, that my perspective is wider, my view of humanity gentler, than in the self-centered misery of my gambling days?

Today I Pray - May my spiritual confidence begin to spread over my attitudes toward others, especially during holiday times, when anticipations and anxieties are high.  As a compulsive gambler, I have not handled the emotions of holidays well.  I pray for serenity to cope with the holiday brew of emotions.

Today I Will Remember - Perspective comes through practicing the principles. 

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Celebrate with our Gamblers Anonymous Fellowship

December 22 - "I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor." - Henry David Thoreau.  We always had the power to change ourselves and our lives, but prior to coming to GA, we had little success in making progress toward any realistic goals.  Now that we have found the GA Program, we not only have the ability, but we have a plan - a set of blueprints that work. 

Do I believe that none come too soon to the GA Program, and that non return to it too late?  Do I believe that, with my Higher Power as a guide and my fellow GA members cheering me on, no level of elevation seems unattainable?

Today I Pray - May I not forget that, although my intentions to better myself and my life may have been real, my ability to accomplish this without a realistic plan was destined to fail.  May I be grateful that I found this Program and that the miracle of GA exists in my life.  May I remember honestly how it was and celebrate, with the brothers and sisters in this great Fellowship, how it is today and how it can be.

Today I Will Remember - GA gives us blueprints. 

Friday, December 21, 2012

Suicide and compulsive gambling

Studies suggest as many as 1 in 5 pathological gamblers attempt suicide, according to the National Council on Problem Gambling. If you or someone you know has thought or talked about suicide, get immediate help:

'Tis the Season to Practice the Twelfth Step

December 21 - Each of us in the GA Program can, in our own time and own way, awaken our own spirituality.  With this comes the deep down knowledge that we are no longer alone and helpless, also the deep down awareness that we've learned certain truths that we can now transmit to others, so that perhaps they, too, can be helped.

Do I keep to myself in constant readiness for the spiritual awareness that is certain to come to me as I practice the Steps?

Today I Pray - May I be steady, not expecting that my newly recognized spirituality will startle me like an alarm clock into sudden awareness of a Higher Power.  It may settle on me so quietly that I may not recognize precisely when my awareness comes.  The clue may come in my desire to Twelfth Step others.  May I realize then that I have accepted the principles of the GA Program and have truly made the effort to practice them in all my affairs.

Today I Will Remember - Live the principles - and pass them on.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

If the cat says no...it must be so!

Michigan Department of Community Health on Problem Gambling

There is a host of valuable resources for problem gamblers in Michigan.  Check out...

http://www.michigan.gov/mdch/0,1607,7-132-2940_3185---,00.html

Recovery involves reasonable goals

December 20 - When we compulsively strive for perfection, we invariably insure ourselves.  For one thing, we end up creating big problems from little ones.  For another, we become frustrated and filled with despair when we're unable to meet the impossible goals we've set for ourselves.  And finally, we decreased our capability to deal with life and reality as they are.

Can I lean to yield a little here and there?  Can I apply myself with a quiet mind only to what is possible and attainable?

Today I Pray - May I see that striving for an impossible accomplishment provides me with an ever ready excuse for not making it.  It is also an indication of my loss of reality sense, which ought to involve knowing what I can do and then doing it.  With the help of my GA group and my Higher Power, may I learn to set "reasonable goals."  These may seem ridiculously small to me, after years of thinking big.  But, by breaking down my projects into several smaller ones, may I find that I can actually accomplish some of my goals.

Today I Will Remember - Break down goals into smaller ones.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Recovering Gamblers: Not a failure, not a mistake

December 19 - The GA Program teaches me to work for progress, not perfection.  That simple admonition gives me great comfort, for it represents a primary way in which my life today is so different from what it used to be.  In my former live, perfection - for all its impossibility - was so often my number one goal.  Today I can believe that if I sometimes fail, I'm not a failure - and if I sometimes make mistakes, I'm not a mistake.  And I can apply those same beliefs tot he Twelve Steps of Recovery, as well as to my entire life.

Do I believe that only Step One can be practiced with perfection, and that the remaining Steps represent perfect ideals?

Today I Pray - God, teach me to abandon my erstwhile goal of superhuman perfection in everything I did or said.  I know now that I was actually bent on failure, because I could never attain those impossible heights I had established for myself.  Now that I understand this pattern, may I no longer program my own failures.

Today I Will Remember - I may strive to be a super person, but not a superperson.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Recovering gamblers can live without anxiety

December 18 - I'm learning - all too slowly, at times - that when I give up the losing battle of trying to run my life in my own way, I gain abiding peace and deep serenity.  For many of us, that learning process is a painfully slow one.  Eventually, however, I understand that there are only two wills in the world, my will and God's.  Whatever is within my direct control is my will, and whatever is beyond my direct control is God's will.  So I try to accept that which is beyond my control as God's will for me.

Am I beginning to realize that, by surrendering my will to the Divine Will, I am for the first time living without turmoil and without anxiety?

Today I Pray - May I hope that my will can be congruent with the all encompassing will of God.  I pray that I will know immediately if my will is a useless tug of war with His Divine Will.  May I trust God now to guide my will according to His Master Plan - and to make His purpose mine.

Today I Will Remember - I will let my will be in harmony with God's.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Pay Quiet and Loving Attention to Healing

December 17 - More and more these days, as I progress in my recovery, I seem to be quietly waiting to hear my Higher Power's unmistakable voice within me.  Prayer is becoming a two-way street - of seeking and listening, of searching and finding.  A favorite bit of Scripture for me is, "Be still and know that I am God."

Do I pay quiet and loving attention to my Higher Power, confident that an enlightened knowledge of His will can come to me?

Today I Pray - As I seek to know my Higher Power, may I learn the best ways - for me - to reach and hear Him.  May I begin to feel prayer, not just listen to the sound of my own verbalizing.  May I feel the sharp outlines of my humanness fading as His Godliness becomes a part of me.  May I feel that I am one with Him.

Today I Will Remember - Feel the stillness of God.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Gamanon: What is and is not forgiveness of a gambling spouse

What forgiveness is

• Choosing, not feeling. If you have been badly hurt, forgiving may be the last thing you feel like doing. Fortunately, forgiveness has very little to do with feelings and everything to do with choice.

Forgiveness can be tough – none of us would deny this – but it’s essential for any marriage to develop, grow and last. In their new book, The Highway Code for Marriage, Hilary and Michael Perrott give useful insights and practical suggestions into how choosing to forgive can make such a difference in a marriage.

A man told his friend, “Whenever my wife and I have an argument she becomes historical.” “You mean hysterical,” the friend replied. “No, I mean historical. She reminds me of everything I ever did!”

Little everyday injuries are so trivial we hardly notice that we forgive or are forgiven. He treads on her toe and says, “Oh, sorry!” and she replies, “That’s all right.” It was not deliberate. It hurt for only a few seconds. It is never referred to again and they both forget about it. Unthinkingly, she lets out a sharp word. He feels a momentary prick of pain, but he realises she is under pressure and makes no comment. He does not think about it, and after a few days there is no hurt and, in the end, no memory.

But what happens when there is a really big hurt? Every time you think about it you smoulder inside. It may have been a single act or the collective weight of a hundred small grievances. The anger does not go away. It grows into a long-term resentment that you have been treated this way. You feel you have been let down, embarrassed, deceived, betrayed. Your anger may be red-faced and loud-voiced or it may be as cold and hard as ice. There is a wall of bitterness between you. How can you forgive? Anyway, what is forgiveness?

What forgiveness is not

• Condoning. Forgiving them does not mean you approve of what they did.

• Forgetting. Forgive and forget? If the offence is small, yes, you will probably forget all about it. But if it is big, you may never forget, even if you forgive.

• Denying. For some, the pain is too great to take on board and so they deny that it happened at all, not only to others but to themselves.

• Pretending. You will not admit to anyone that you are hurting and you claim everything is fine, but the fact that you are not shouting or screaming does not mean that you are not angry.

• Losing. The person who forgives is not necessarily the loser. Forgiving may be winning.

What forgiveness is

• Choosing, not feeling. If you have been badly hurt, forgiving may be the last thing you feel like doing. Fortunately, forgiveness has very little to do with feelings and everything to do with choice. Just as you choose to talk when you would rather be silent, to be kind when to do so would be an effort, to be unselfish when the opposite is much more attractive, so to forgive is more a matter of choosing than feeling.

• Choosing not to dwell on the hurt. You cannot help the thought coming into your mind. Bang, it is there. Uninvited and unwelcome. But you are responsible for what you allow your mind to dwell on. The more you rehearse the hurtful words or deeds, the more indelible they become in your mind.

• Choosing not to talk about it. If you talk about it, you think about it. If you think about it, you feel it. If you feel it, it will hurt you. Each time you remind your wife how she hurt you, you hurt her – and yourself.

• Choosing not to retaliate. Justice may say, “An eye for an eye” – “If you do that to me, I’ll do it to you.” Forgiveness says, “I could, but I won’t.”

• Choosing to let it go. Some people find it particularly hard to let go of past hurt, but in the end it is a choice. One wife wrote, “I used to replay the video tapes of what he said and did over and over in my mind. Then one day I let it all go and I was free.”

• Choosing to go on choosing. One husband, when he forgave his wife for her unfaithfulness, said, “I felt all the pain go away.” But later he began to replay the tapes in his mind and all the pain came back again. He unforgave! Forgiving is not a one-off act, it is an ongoing attitude.

A final note

Forgiveness is for the forgiver as much as for the forgiven. Refusing to forgive is like shooting oneself in the foot. Forgiveness brings peace to a marriage and creates the attitude necessary to make a new beginning. It allows a couple to move on together.

You have a straight choice: pain or peace. Hold on to the hurt and it corrodes everything. Replay it in your mind, over and over, and the pain will grow and perhaps become hate. Let the hurt go and, though it may take time, the pain will go. It’s forgive or fester.

A wife and husband who are going to be best friends and enjoy a really deep companionship will learn that a good marriage is made up of two people who are not only givers of themselves but also forgivers of each other.

Adapted from ‘The Highway Code for Marriage’, by Hilary and Michael Perrot, published by CWR.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Highwa...errott/dp/1853453315
http://www.lookingatlife.org.uk/article_172

Do not play the perennial sufferer

December 16 - Sometimes, on those bad days we all have from time to time, it almost seems that God doesn't want us to be happy here on earth and, for those of us who believe in an afterlife, that He demands pain and suffering in this life as the price of happiness in the next.  The GA Program teaches me that just the opposite is the case.  God wants me to be happy right here on earth - right now.  If I allow it, God will even point out the way.

Do I sometimes stubbornly refuse to look where God is pointing?

Today I Pray - I pray that I am not playing the perennial sufferer, dragging around in the boots of strategy and acting as if suffering is the only ticket to heaven.  May I look around, at the goodness and greenery of earth, which is testimony enough that our life here is meant to be more than just one pitfall after another.  May no misconception of God as a master trapper, waiting in every thicket to snare us, distort my relationship with a loving, forgiving Higher Power.

Today I Will Remember - There is more to life than suffering. 

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Gamblers are natural worriers

December 15 - Some people are such worriers that they feel sorry about the fact that they have nothing to worry about.  Newcomers in the GA Program sometimes feel, for example, "This is much too good to last."  Most of us, however, have plenty of real things to worry about - old standbys like debt, health, death, and taxes, to name a few.  But GA tells us that the antidote to worry and fear is confidence - confidence not in ourselves, but in our Higher Power.

Will I continue to believe that God can and will avert the calamity that I spend my days and nights dreading?  Will I believe that, if calamity does strike, God will enable me to see it through?

Today I Pray - May I realize that the worry habit - worry that grows out of broader, often unlabeled fears - will take more than time to conquer.  Like many others, I have lived with worry so long that it has become my constant, floor-pacing companion.  May my Higher Power teach me that making a chum out of worry is a waste of my energy and fritters away my constructive hours.

Today I Will Pray - Kick the worry habit. 

Friday, December 14, 2012

Total Acceptance

December 14 - Some of us in Gamblers Anonymous are inclined to make the mistakes of thinking that the few moments we spend in prayer and meditation - in "talking to God" - are all that count.  The truth is that the attitude we maintain throughout the entire day is just as important.  If we place ourselves in God's hands in the morning, and throughout the day hold ourselves ready to accept His will as it is made known through the events of our daily life, our attitude of acceptance becomes a constant prayer.

Can I try to cultivate an attitude of total acceptance each day?

Today I Pray - May I maintain contact with my Higher Power all through my day, not just check in fro a prayer now and then.  May my communion with God never become merely a casual aside.  May I come to know that every time I do something that is in accord with God's will I am living a prayer.

Today I Will Remember - Prayer is an attitude.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

A story about prison, insanity, or death

Compulsive Gambling:  Prison, Insanity, or Death

by Arnie and Sheila Wexler

      It was a rainy Friday afternoon in 1983. The late Dr. Robert L. Custer , whom was the “father” of treatment for compulsive gambling, asked me to drive him to Long Island, N. Y , to visit one of his patients. This patient had entered an in-patient treatment center for compulsive gambling. As we drove along the bumpy Long Island Expressway, I had no idea whom we were going to visit. It didn’t matter to me, as I would have done anything for Dr. Custer, since by now we had become personal friends. As a compulsive gambler , in recovery for about 15 years, I had learned the only way I could keep my recovery was to reach out to another suffering compulsive gambler. Even though it was a long time ago, I could still remember the pain that gambling caused me and my family and friends. I always loved the time I spent with Dr. Custer , but this particular time was really special, since most of the discussion focused on recovery from compulsive gambling.

     We arrived at the treatment center and went to see Dr. Bob’s patient. We talked for about an hour. He was a young man, about 21 years old and very handsome. He had the body of an athlete, seemed very intelligent and appeared to have quite a lot of potential. Yet, there was no doubt that he was a compulsive gambler and already had many losses including his career being in jeopardy. He was very likable and we hit it off immediately. For the next couple of weeks many of the conversations I had with Dr. Custer were about this patient. About three months later, in Bethesda Maryland, in the home of Dr. Custer,we met again. In the following year we met and spoke on the phone frequently. It seemed to me that we were becoming good friends. Even though he relapsed a few times over the next few years, we still kept in touch, often. During that time he still had the ability to perform in his career but his employers were afraid that the gambling addiction might interfere. Unlike alcoholics and drug addict, who get second chances, it is more difficult for compulsive gamblers to get second chances . In the meantime, the young man got married and got a job in another field. He had his own radio show, and as most compulsive gamblers , he was able to succeed at this new endeavor. However, recovery continued to elude him. His pain was getting greater and greater. He wanted to stop, but couldn’t. The need to gamble was stronger than his power to stop by himself. No compulsive gambler can stop on his or her own. He needed the help of other recovering people, but he was still struggling with this concept. The addiction had him by the throat and was destroying him little by little .
The death of Dr. Custer (in the mid 80’s) was a terrible loss to me and I know it had to be a tremendous loss for this patient. A few years later, his wife gave birth to their first daughter. Now they had become a family. Over the next few years we were still having contact over the phone. Often he would talk about his wife and his daughter and how much he loved them.

     Last year, before the Super Bowl, I was a guest on his radio show. The discussion was about compulsive gambling. Even though he hadn’t stopped gambling himself, he was still eager to carry the message about the devastation of compulsive gambling to his audience. Shortly thereafter he took a “geographical cure” and moved to Las Vegas, the Mecca of gambling in America. For most gamblers this town is Heaven, but for compulsive gamblers it’s Hell. Again he was a host of a successful radio show.
With all the phone calls over the years, we had not seen each other for about five years. Last week was the first time I saw him, again. I was on one side of a glass partition, he was on the other. The visit took place in the North Las Vegas Correctional Center in Las Vegas, Nevada. As with all compulsive gamblers they will pursue their gambling into the gates of prison, insanity or death. As we talked over the prison phone, my life, prior to recovery, flashed before my eyes. Thank God I had stopped when I did or I could have been on the other side of the partition. At this time I am fortunate enough to have had recovery for twenty-six years, one day at a time. My friend told me that he had eight nine days without a bet. He said that now he believes he can stop and he wants to. That’s how recovery can begin. You admit you are a compulsive gambler and you have the desire to stop.

     The next day I saw him in Court for sentencing on the charge of bank fraud. I had the privilege to be asked by him and his attorney to explain the issue of compulsive gambling to the court. Not in my wildest dreams could I have believed that in my recovery I, or anyone else would ever be asked to speak in a Federal court about compulsive gambling. 

     With a room full of reporters, a family member, friends and some recovering compulsive gamblers, the Judge sentenced him to twenty-four months in jail. When I heard the sentence I got a pain in my stomach, my hands started to sweat and I could feel his pain. When the defendant stood in front of the Judge, his only request was to serve his sentence in a federal prison in Terre Haute, Indiana, so he could be closer to his wife and his two children.

 
     Although we have come a long way in the area of compulsive gambling awareness, there is still virtually no help in the Federal correctional system. It seems to me that it would be very difficult for a compulsive gambler to find recovery or stay in recovery in this type of setting. I believe the federal correctional system should provide some of the following services: counseling services, Gamblers Anonymous meetings within the facility,and education and reading materials on compulsive gambling and it’s recovery. I believe strongly, that incarceration time should be reduced in lieu of alternatives like halfway houses or in-patient treatment facilities. In addition I think that sentencing should include making full restitution(within a realistic budget), community service, continued attendance at Gamblers Anonymous and on-going counseling services.

     It is ironic that he was sentenced two days before the Super Bowl because if not for the fact that he is a compulsive gambler ART SCHLICHTER might have been the starting Quarterback in the game

Gamblers see glimpses of hope in recovery

December 13 - A friend in GA told me of a favorite hymn from her childhood:  "Open my eyes that I may see glimpses of truth Thou hast for me."  In actuality, that is what the GA Program has done for me - it has opened my eyes so that I have come to see the true nature of my gambling addiction, as well as the true nature of the joyous life that can be mine if I practice the principles embodied in the Twelve Steps of Recovery.

Through prayer and meditation, am I also improving my inner vision, so that I can better see God's love and power working in me and through me?

Today I Pray -  May each glint of truth that I catch sight of as I work the Steps begin to take on the steadier shine of a fixed star.  May I know that these stars are all that I need to chart my course and navigate safely.  May I no longer feel the frantic need to put in to every unknown port along the way in search of direction.  These stars are always mine to steer by.

Today I Will Remember - Find the fixed stars and fix on them. 

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Trust in Gamblers Anonymous

December 12 - These days, if I go through an experience that is new and demanding.  I can do so in a spirit of confidence and trust.  Thanks to Gamblers Anonymous and the Twelve Steps of Recovery, I've come to know that God is with me in all places and in all endeavors.  His Spirit is in me as well as in the people around me.  As a result, I feel comfortable even in new situations and at home even among strangers.

Will I continue to flow along and grow along with the Program, trusting in the love of God at work in me and in my life?

Today I Pray - May God's comfort be with me in all situations, familiar or new.  May He rebuild the sagging bridge of my confidence.  May I acknowledge God in me and in others around me.  May that mutual identity in God help me communicate with people on a plane of honesty.  If I can learn to trust God, I can learn to trust the ones who share this earth with me.

Today I Will Remember - God teaches me how to trust. 

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Gamblers don't have to drift from crisis to crisis

December 11 - Before I came to the GA Program - in face, before I knew of the Program's existence - I drifted from crisis to crisis.  Occasionally, I tried to use my will to chart a new course; however, like a rudderless ship, I inevitably foundered once again on the rocks of my own despair.  Today, in contrast, I receive guidance from my Higher Power.  Sometimes, the only answer is a sense of peace or an assurance that all is well.

Even though there may be a time of waiting before I see results, or before any direct guidance comes, will I try to remain confident that things are working out in ways that will be for the greatest good of everyone concerned?

Today I Pray - May I not expect instant, verbal communication with my Higher Power, like directions on a stamped, self-addressed postcard.  May I have patience, and listen, and sense that God is present.  May I accept my new feeling of radiant warmth and serenity as God's way of assuming me that I am, finally, making some good choices.

Today I Will Remember - Patience: God's message will come.

Single mother heads to prison for gambling addiction

A heartbreaking story of how compulsive gambling controls otherwise healthy people...



Monday, December 10, 2012

Gambling Addiction: Land O'Lakes worker gets prison for embezzling $1M

Gambling addiction leads female employee to embezzle:

http://www.startribune.com/local/181371101.html?refer=y

Angry Outburst Hurt You Too

December 10 - Have I ever stopped to think that the impulse to "blow off steam" and say something unkind or even vicious will, if followed through, hurt me far more seriously than the person to whom the insult is directed?  I must try constantly to quiet my mind before I act with impatience or hostility, for my mind can be - in that very real way - an enemy as great as any I've ever known.

Will I look before I leap, think before I speak, and try to avoid self-will to the greatest extend possible?

Today I Pray - May I remember that my blow-ups and explosions, when they are torrents of accusations or insults, hurt me just as much as the other person.  May I try not to let my anger get to the blow up stage, simply by recognizing it as I go along and stating it as a fact.

Today I Will Remember - Keep a loose lid on the teapot. 

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Self-Will Run Riot

December 9 - "Difficulties are God's errands, and when we are sent upon them, we should esteem it a proof of God's confidence," wrote Beecher.  I've come to realize that my past troubles were really of my own making.  Although I hardly thought so at the time, I was a primary example of what the GA Program calls "self will run riot."  Today I'll accept my difficulties as signposts to growth and as evidence of God's confidence in me. 

Do I believe that God will never give me more than I can handle?

Today I Pray - May I believe strongly that God has confidence in me to handle my troubles, that the difficulties I must face are in direct proportion to my strength and ability to bear up and keep a cool head in a crisis.  May I also understand that it is my faith in God that keeps me from crumbling.

Today I Will Remember - God has faith in me, because I have faith in God.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Study the Twelve Steps

December 8 - We often see people in GA - devoutly and with seeming sincerity - ask for God's guidance on matters ranging from major crises to such insignificant things as what to serve at a dinner party.  Though they may be well-intentioned, such people tend to force their wills into all sorts of situations - with the comfortable assurance that they're following God's specific directions.  In reality, this sort of prayer is nothing more than a self-serving demand of God for "replies"; it has little to do with the Gamblers Anonymous Program's suggested Eleventh Step.

Do I strive regularly to study each of the Steps, and to practice them in all my affairs?

Today I Pray - May I not make the common mistake of listing my own solutions for God and then asking for a stamp of Divine approval.  May I catch myself if I am not really opening my mind to God's guidance, but merely laying out my own answers with a "what do You think of these?" attitude.

Today I Will Remember - Am I looking for God's rubber stamp?

Friday, December 7, 2012

Know where to go for help

December 7 - As long as I stubbornly hang on to the conviction that I can live solely by my individual strength and intelligence, a working faith in my Higher Power is impossible.  This is true, no matter how strongly I believe that God exists.  My spiritual beliefs - no matter how sincere - will remain forever lifeless if I continue trying to play God myself.  What it comes down to is that, as long as we place self reliance first, true reliance upon a Higher Power is out of the question.

How strong is my desire to do God's will?

Today I Pray - I pray that I may not place my self-reliance above reliance on God.  May I know that there is no conflict between taking responsibility for my own actions, which I have been taught is the essence of maturity, and looking to God for guidance.  May I remember that if I stick to the "do it myself" rule, it is like refusing to ask for a road map from a tourist information bureau, and wandering around forever lost.

Today I Will Remember - Maturity is knowing where to go for help.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Solutions come when you stay away from gambling

December 6 - When I finally convince myself to let go of a problem that's been tearing me apart - when I take the action to set aside my will and let God handle the problem - my torment subsides immediately.  If I continue to t stay out of my own way, then solutions begin to unfold and reveal themselves.  More and more, I'm coming to accept the limitations of my human understanding and power.  More and more, I'm learning to let go and trust my Higher Power for the answers and the help.

Do I keep in the forefront of my mind the fact that only God is all-wise and all-powerful?

Today I Pray - If I come across a stumbling block, may I learn to step out of the way and let God remove it.  May I realize my human limitations at problem-solving, since I can never begin to predict God's solutions until I see them happening.  May I know that whatever answer I come to, God may have a better one.

Today I Will Remember - God has a better answer.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Keys to Successful Gambling Addiction Recovery - Part 3

Being S.T.R.O.N.G.
  • Taking care of yourself is crucial for maintaining recovery
  • Mental, Emotional, Physical and Spiritual
  • Are you taking good care of yourself?
Handing Relapse
  • Relapse is part of Recovery
  • Learn from it, what is/is not working, make adjustments
  • Be honest, get right back into recovery
  • Handling guilt and shame, it can keep you from recovery
  • Support from others is crucial when relapse occurs
  • Be aware of triggers and cravings
* From Holland Hospital Behavioral Health Service - Mark Bombara

Pay it Forward in Gamblers Anonymous

December 5 - N. Eldon Tanner has said, "Service is the rent we pay for the privilege of living on this earth."  For most recovering gamblers, service itself is a privilege, a privilege we've been given along with our new lease on life.  Sponsorship, calling new members, or answering class from new members sometimes takes a lot of energy and time.  When I feel resistant, let me remember the security I felt when I was new in GA and recognized that there were those available to help me if I asked.

Do I know for certain that my service today is a vital part of my own continued recovery?

Today I Pray - May I never cease to remember that the service to those before me made the GA program available for me in my recovery today.  May the service I willingly provide today aid in others' recovery tomorrow.

Today I Will Remember - Service in the Program is a privilege.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

I Intend Never to Gamble Again

December 4 - Most of us in GA are far more comfortable with the determination that we won't make that first bet today, than we are with the "vow" that we'll never gamble again.  Saying "I intend never to gamble again" is quite different from saying "I'll never gamble again."  The latter statement is far too reflective of self-will; it doesn't leave much room for the idea that our obsession to gamble will be removed if we practice GA's Twelve Steps of Recovery one day at a time.

Will I continue to fight against complacency, realizing that I'll always be just one wager away from disaster?

Today I Pray - "Never again" demands too binding a commitment, even for the strongest among us.  Our past lives were full of "never agains" and "won't evers," promises that were broken before the next dawn.  May I, for now, set my sights on just one clean day at a time.

Today I Will Remember - Never say "never again."


Monday, December 3, 2012

Keys to Successful Gambling Addiction Recovery - Part 2

Footwork of Recovery
  • Requires work, persistence, 100% commitment
  • Working the Steps - essential
  • You can not do it your own way
  • Recovery is a marathon, not a 100 yard dash
  • Patience and persistence are required
  • Recovery is a "life long process"
  • Guarding against overconfidence
  • Beware of cross addictions:  replacement addiction behavior
  • Does clean time equal good recovery?
  • Watch out for "switched addictions"
"You have to be as committed to your recovery as you were to your addiction"

* From Holland Hospital Behavioral Health Services - Mark Bombara

Lean on your Higher Power

December 3 - Our ancient enemy, self-will, wears a mask, confronting me with this sort of rationalization:  Why do I have to lean on God?  Hasn't He already given me the intelligence to thing for myself?  I have to pause when such thoughts creep into my mind, remembering that I've never really been able to bring about the results I wanted simply by relying on my own devices.  I'm not self-sufficient, nor do I know all the answers; bitter experience along teaches me that.

Do I know that I need God's guidance?  Am I willing to accept it?

Today I Pray - I pray that, as I become stronger in my conviction and in my abstinence, I will not begin to shrug off my dependence on a Higher Power.  May I continue to pray for guidance, even when things seem to be going along smoothly.  May I know that I need my Higher Power as much in times of triumph as in times of trauma.

Today I Will Remember - Self-sufficiency is a godless myth.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Your Life Depends on Gamblers Anonymous

December 2 - Once a meeting held in a church, I saw a stained glass window on which was written, "God Is Love."  For some reason, my mind transposed the words into "Love is God."  Either way is correct and true, I realized, looking about me and becoming even more conscious of the spirit of love and Power in the small meeting room.  I'll continue to seek out that love and Power, following the GA Program as if my life depended upon it - as indeed it does.

Does life to me today mean living - in the active sense, joyously and comfortably?

Today I Pray - May I feel the spirit of love that gives our prayers their energy.  May I feel the oneness in this room, the concentration of love that gives the group its power.  May I feel the exemplary love of a Higher Power, which our love echoes.

Today I Will Remember - Love is God.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Keys to Successful Gambling Addiction Recovery - Part 1

Types of Gamblers/Gambling Problems
  • Action:  thrill, excitement, competition
  • Escape:  emotional pain, self-medicate
  • Process Addiction vs. Substance Addiction
Biological basis for pathological gambling
  • Changes in brain chemistry, addiction to the adrenaline/euphoria, pleasure pathway
  • Support for total abstinence
  • It's not just "Willpower"
  • Triggers and carvings are strong
  • Total lifestyle change:  thinking and behavior, retraining
*From Holland Hospital Behavioral Health Services - Mark Bombara

How Gamanon can help their Gamblers

Here are a few sites to help protect you:

Credit Karma - Check your score and their score frequently
Annual Credit Report - Run frequent reports of your and their credit report to ensure no new accounts have been opened
Life Lock - Protect your identity

Please remember - that compulsive gambling is a disease.  Please attend local Gamanon meetings to learn how you can better help your loved one. 

Excellence at Not Gambling is a Habit

December 1 - "We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit," - Aristotle.  By repeating my gambling acts, I became progressively more likely to do them again and again.  By repeatedly attending meetings, talking with my Higher Power, sharing my feelings, and keeping connected with Gamblers Anonymous members between meetings, I become what I am doing:  part of the GA Fellowship.  If I continue to repeat these acts, I will become progressively more likely to do them again and again.

Do I recognize that any small contribution I make at a meeting has a much greater return on investment than any bet I ever made, even my biggest hit?

Today I Pray - May the acts that I repeat today be according to the will of my Higher Power.  May I understand that, although perfection is not my goal, progress is possible, and excellence at what I am doing for my recovery is attainable.  Help me rid myself of my self destructive habits and replace them with one that will aid my recovery.

Today I Will Remember - Recovery is not an act; it is a habit.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Why this addiction destroys many lives


Another example of destruction at the hands of this horrible disease...

Local man sentenced to 8 - 20 years

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Rules for Failing in Gamblers Anonymous Meetings

November 30 - If you're a negative thinker and are not yet ready to do an about face, here are some guidelines that can keep you miserable for just as long as you wish to remain so.  First, don't go to GA meetings.  If you somehow find yourself at a meeting, keep your mouth (and your mind) shut and your hands in your pockets.  Don't try to solve any of your problems, never laugh at yourself, and don't trust other people in the Program.  Above all, under no conditions should you try to live in the Now - just keep feeding your fantasies about the future with unrealities.

Am I aware that negative thinking means taking myself deadly seriously at all times, allowing no time for laughter, or for living?

Today I Pray - If I am feeling negative, may I check myself in the mirror that is the group for any symptoms of a closed mind:  tight lips, forced smile, set jaw, straight-ahead glance - and no glimmer of humor.  God, grant me the ability to laugh at myself - often - for I need that laughter to cope with the everyday commotion of living.

Today I Will Remember - To laugh at myself.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

My apologies

Dear Readers ~

Sorry I've been behind on a few posts.  I hope you've still found comfort in your gambling free life, and have remained free of your addiction.  I have been clean now 10 months with your help (My Higher Power), and just busy with living!  But always GA is in the forefront of my life and I will continue to stay on top of this blog, to help you and to help me!

~GA of Grand Rapids

Let Go and Let God, Gamblers

November 29 - Contrary to what some people think, the slogan "Let Go and Let God" isn't an expression of apathy, an attitude of defeatism, or an unwillingness to accept responsibility.  Those who turn that backs on their problems are not "letting go and letting God," but, instead, are abandoning their commitment to act on God's inspiration and guidance.  They neither ask for nor expect help; they want God to do it all.

In seeking God's guidance, do I realize that the ultimate responsibility is mine?

Today I Pray - May I not allow myself to be lazy just because I think God is going to do everything anyway. (Such apathy reminds me of my old powerless self, the one that moaned that the world was going up in smoke, civilization was going down the drain, and there wasn't a think I cold do about it.)  Neither may I use "letting God" do it as my excuse for shrugging off my problems without even trying.  May God be my inspiration; may I be an instrument of God.

Today I Pray - God guides those who help themselves.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Faith in GA should never falter

November 28 - Our faith in God's power - at work in us and in our lives - doesn't relieve us of responsibility.  Instead, our faith strengthens our efforts, makes us confident and assured, and enables us to act decisively and wisely.  We're no longer afraid to make decisions; we're not afraid to take the steps that seem called for in the proper handling of given situations.

Do I believe that God is at work beyond my human efforts, and that my faith and trust in Him will bring forth results far exceeding my expectations?

Today I Pray - May my trust in my Higher Power never falter.  May my faith in that Power continue to shore up my optimism, my confidence, my belief in my own decision making.  May I never shut my eyes to the wonder of God's work or discount the wisdom of His solutions.

Today I Will Remember - Our hope in ages past, our help for years to come.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Turn Dreams into Useful Creativity

November 27 - The Gamblers Anonymous Program shows us how to transform the pipe dreams of our pasts into a comfortable reality and true sense of purpose, together with a growing consciousness of the power of God in our lives.  It's all right to keep our heads in the clouds with Him, we're taught, but our feet should remain firmly planted here on earth.  Here's where other people are; here's where our work must be accomplished.

Do I see anything incompatible between my God-consciousness and a useful life in the here and now?

Today I Pray - May my new "reality" include not only the nuts and bolts and pots and pans of daily living, but also my spiritual reality, my growing knowledge of the presence of God.  May the new reality have room, too, for my dreams, not the mind-drifting fantasies of the past or the remnants of my delusions, but the products of a healthy imagination.  May I respect these dreams, anchor them in earth's possibilities, and turn them into useful creativity.

Today I Will Remember - Heaven has a place in the here and now.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Free of the Chains that Bind You

November 26 - During our first days of Gamblers Anonymous, we got rid of the trappings and environments of gambling.  We had to get rid of these, for we knew they surely would have killed us.  We got rid of the situations, but we couldn't get rid of our addiction until we took further action.  So we also had to learn to toss self-pity, self-justification, self-righteousness, and self-will straight out the window.  We had to get off that rickety ladder that supposedly was the easy way to money, property, and prestige.  And we had to take personal responsibility.  To gain enough humility and self-respect to stay alive at all, we had to give up our most familiar possessions - our driven ambition and our unrealistic pride.

Am I well rid of the weights and chains that once bound me?

Today I Pray - May I give credit to my Higher Power not only for removing my gambling compulsion, but for teaching me to remove my old demanding, pushy "self" from all my spiritual and earthly relationships.  For all the things I have learned and unlearned, for my own faith and for the grace of God, I am fully and heartily thankful.

Today I Will Remember - Gratitude for the grade of God.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Not a Kid's Hand in a Candy Dish

November 25 - "What you have may seem small; you desire so much more.  See children thrusting their hands into a narrow necked jar, striving to pull out the sweets.  If they fill the hand, they cannot pull it out and then they fall to tears.  When they let go a few, they can draw out the rest.  You, too, let your desire go; covet not too much", wrote Epictetus.  Let me expect not too much of anyone, particularly myself.  Let me learn to settle for less than I wish were possible, and be willing to accept it and appreciate it.

Do I accept gratefully and graciously the good that has already come to me through the Gamblers Anonymous Program?

Today I Pray - May I search my soul for those little hankerings of want that may keep me from delighting in all that I have.  If I can just teach myself not to want too much, not to expect too much, then when those expectations are not satisfied, I will not be let down.  May I accept with grace what the grace of God has provided.

Today I Will Remember - I, alone, can grant myself the "freedom from want."

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Freedom of Gambling Brings Peace

November 24 - Although we came to GA to deal with a specific problem, we soon became aware that we would find not only freedom from addiction, but freedom to live in the real world without fear and frustration.  We learned that the solutions are within ourselves.  With the hlep of my Higher Power, I can enrich my life with comfort, enjoyment, and deep down serenity.

Am I changing from my own worst enemy to my own best friend?

Today I Pray - May I praise my Higher Power for my freedoms - from gambling addiction, from spiritual bankruptcy, from loneliness, from fear, from the seesaw of pride and humiliation, from despair, from delusions, from shallowness, from doom.  I give thanks for the way of life that has given me these freedoms and replaces the empty spaces with extra goodness nad peace of mind.

Today I Will Remember - To give thanks for all my freedoms.

Friday, November 23, 2012

You are not the only actor

November 23 - Before I came to Gamblers Anonymous, I was like an actor who insisted on writing the script, producing, directing, and, in short, running the whole show.  I had to do it my way, forever trying to arrange and re-arrange the lights, lines, sets, and, most of all, the ohter players' performances.  If only my arrangements would stay put, and people whold behave as I wished, the show would be fantastic.  My self delusion led me to believe that if they all would just shape up, everything would be fine.  Of course, it never worked out that way.

Isn't it amazing how others seem to be "shaping up" now that I've stopped trying to manage everything and everybody?

Today I Pray - May I talk myself out of that old urge to control everything and everyody.  Time was, if I couldn't manage directly, I would do it indirectly, through manipulation, secret conferences, and asides.  May I know that, if I am the one who is always pulling the strings on the marionettes, then I am also the one who feels the frustration when they collapse or slip off  the stage.

Today I Will Remember - I can only "shape up" myself.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Fear, Selfishness, or Greed is not all Bad

November 22 - "We succeed in enterprises which demand the positive qualities we possess," wrote de Tocqueville, "but we excel in those who can also make use of our defects."  We learn in Gamblers Anonymous that our defects do have value - to the extent that we use them as a starting point for change and a pathway to better things.  Fear can be a stepping stone to prudence, for example, as well as to respect for others.  Fear can also help us turn away from hate and toward understanding.  In the same way, pride can lead us toward the road of humility.

Am I aware of my direction today?  Do I care where I'm going?

Today I Pray - I pray that my Higher Power will show me how to use my defects in a positive way, because neither - not even fear or selfishness or greed - is all bad.  May I trust that every quality that leads me into trouble has a reverse side that can lead me out.  Pride, for instance, can't puff itself up unduly without bursting and demonstrating that it is, in essence, only hot air.  May I learn from my weaknesses.

Today I Will Remember - Good news out of bad. 

Happy Thanksgiving

A Happy Thanksgiving to all our Members ~ remember the holidays are hard.  If you have urges, call someone on the phone list.  We will answer.  We will help.  We will help you enjoy this day gambling-free day!  Call us!

Wishing you a peaceful, thankful, and giving holiday. 

~always in our thoughts

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Online support for gambling issues

I stumbled across a great site to share:

http://www.gamtalk.org/

Check it out.  They are out of Canada.  Great stories, great motivation, great help!

We are never alone!

Adversity can help you grow and heal

November 21 - Adversity introduces man to himself, a poet once said.  For me, the same is true even in imagined adversity.  If I expect another person to react in a certain way in a given situation - and he or she fails to meet my expectation - well, then I hardly have the right to be disappointed or angry.  Yet I occasionally still experience feelings of frustration when people don't act or react as I think they should.  Through such imagined - or, better yet, self-inflicted-adversity, I come face to face again with my old self, the one who wanted to run the whole show.

Is it finally time for me to stop expecting and start accepting?

Today I Pray - May I stop putting words in people's mouths, programming them - in my own mind - to react as I expect them to.  Expectations have fooled me before: I expected unbounded love and protection from those close to me, perfection from myself, undivided attention from casual acquaintances.  On the adverse side, I expected failure from myself, and rejection from others.  May I stop borrowing trouble-or triumph either - from the future. 

Today I Will Remember - Accept.  Don't expect. 

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Measure success differently now you are free of gambling

November 20 - I've come to measure success in a whole new way.  My success today isn't limited by social or economic benchmarks.  Success is mine today, no matter what the undertaking, when I tap the power of God within me and allow myself to be an open channel for the expression of His good.  The spirit of success works through me as increased vision and understanding, as creative ideas and useful service - as efficient use of my time and energy, and as cooperative effort with others.

Will I try to keep my mind centered int he realization that within me is the God-implanted power to succeed?

Today I Pray - May I develop a new concept of success, based on measurements of the qualities that come from God's treasured-filled bank of good.  To draw from that bank, all I have to do is look within myself.  May I know that God's riches are the only kind that are fully insurable, because they are infinite.  May I look in God's bank for my security.

Today I Will Remember - Spiritual "success" is my security.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Material wants often lead to compulsive gambling

November 19 - I no longer argue with people who believe that satisfaction of our natural desires is the primary purpose of life.  It's not our business in Gamblers Anonymous to knock material achievement.  When we stop and think about it, no group of people ever made a worse mess of trying to live by that "la dolce vita" formula than we did.  We always insisted on more than our share - in all areas.  And even when we seemed to be winning, that only fueled our compulsion so that we dreamed of still greater winnings.  Our compulsion was never satisfied. 

Am I learning that material satisfactions are simply by-products and not the chief aim of life?  Am I gaining a perspective that puts character-building and spiritual values first?

Today I Pray - May I recognize that I never did handle excesses very well, based on my past experience, I have been apt to "want more" of whatever it is I have - love, winnings, money, property, things.  May the GA Program tech me that I must concentrate on my spiritual, rather than my material bounty.

Today I Will Remember - It's okay to be spiritually greedy.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Learn success when free of gambling

November 18 - "Nothing is enough to the man for whom enough is too little," wrote the Greek philosopher Epicurus.  Now that we're free from gambling,and are building our self-respect and winning back the esteem of family and friend, we have to avoid becoming smug about our new-found success.  For most of us, success has always been a heady brew; even in our new life, it's still possible to fall into the dangerous trap of "big-shotitis."  As insurance, we ought to remember that we're free today only by the grace of God. 

Will I remember that any success I have today is not only mine but God's?

Today I Pray - May I keep a constant string on the finger reminder that I have found freedom through the grace of God - just so I don't let my pride try to convince me I did it all myself.  May I learn to cope with success by ascribing it to a Higher Power, not to my own questionable superiority.

Today I Will Remember - Learn to deal with success. 

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Pride can destroy a Gamblers recovery

November 17 - Many of us recovering compulsive gamblers stubbornly cling to false ideas and positions simply because we fear we'd be left defenseless if we admitted having been wrong.  The thought of "backing down" still seems distasteful to some of us.  But we come to learn that our self-esteem soars when we're able to push pride into the background and truly face the facts.  Chances are that people with true humility have more genuine self-esteem than those of us who are repeatedly victimized by pride.

Does pride, either blatantly or deviously, keep me from thorough and continuing attention to the Tenth Step?

Today I Pray - May pride stay out of my way, now that I've found a road to follow.  May I avoid that familiar, destructive cycle of pride - the ego that balloons up out of all proportion and then deflates with a fizzle.  May I learn the value of "backing down."

Today I Will Remember - Pride is the arch-enemy of self-esteem.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Remain Confrontable, Remain Teachable

November 16 - We sometimes hear humility defined as the state of being "teachable."  In that sense, most of us in the Gamblers Anonymous Fellowship who are able to stay free of gambling have acquired at least a smattering of humility, or we never would have learned to stay away from that first bet.  Humility, I have come to know, is being open to listening to others, continuously open to learning. 

Do I see humility as a pathway to continuing improvement?

Today I Pray - Now that I have made a start at developing humility, may I keep it up.  May I open myself to the will of God and the suggestion of my friends in the group.  May I remain teachable, confrontable, receptive, and conscious that I must stay that way in order to be healthy.

Today I Will Remember - To remain confrontable.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Pride in Gamblers Didn't Work...Try Humility

November 15 - As a newcomer to Gamblers Anonymous, I was told that my admission of my powerlessness over gambling was my first step toward freedom from its deadly grip; I soon came to realize the truth of that fact.  In that regard, surrender was a dire necessity.  But for me that was only a small beginning toward acquiring humility.  I've learned in GA that to be willing to work for humility, as something to be desired for itself, takes most of us a long, long time.

Do I realize that a whole lifetime of self-centeredness can't be shifted into reverse in a split second?

Today I Pray - May I search for my own humility as a quality that I must cultivate to survive, not just an admission that I am powerless over my compulsive gambling.  Step One is just hat, step one in the direction of acquiring an attitude of humility.  May I be realistic enough to know that this may talk half a lifetime.

Today I Will Remember - Pride blew it; let humility have a chance. 

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

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Another Chance for Gamblers

Fellow gambler, take my hand;
I'm your friend, I understand.
I've known your guilt, your shame, remorse;
I've borne the burden of your cross.
I found a friend who offered ease;
He suffered, too, with this disease.
Although he had no magic cure,
He showed me how we could endure.
We talked together side by side;
We spoke of things we had to hide.
We told of sleepless nights and debts;
Of broken homes and lies and threats.
And so my weary gambler friend;
Please take this hand I now extend.
Take one more chance on something new;
Another gambler helping you.

Complulsive Gamblers Must Find Humility

November 14 - First search for a little humility, my sponsor urged me.  If you don't, he said, you're greatly increasing the risk of going out there again.  After a while, in spite of my lifelong rebelliousness, I took his advice; I began to try to practice humility, simply because I believed it was the right thing to do.  I hope sincerely that the day will come when most of my rebelliousness will be just a memory, that then I'll practice humility because I deeply want it as a way of life.

Am I willing to try humility today, if only for a moment?  Will I learn to hunger for the feeling I get from it?

Today I Pray - Since I -  like so many compulsive gamblers - am a rebel, may I know that I will need to practice humility.  May I recognize that humility does not come easily to a rebellious nature, whether I am out and out defiant, dug in negative, or, more subtly, determined in a roundabout way to change everything else but myself.  I pray that by practicing humility it will become instinctive for me.

Today I Will Remember - Get the humble habit.


Tuesday, November 13, 2012

With Humility, Comes Responsibility

November 13 - All progress can be boiled down and measured by just two word:  humility and responsibility.  It's said that our entire spiritual development can be precisely measured by our degree of adherence to those standards.  Only by abandoning my self-centeredness and maintaining contact with a Higher Power can I achieve true humility.  Only by regaining contact with reality can I develop responsibility. 

Am I trying my honest best to live my standards of humility and responsibility?

Today I Pray - I pray that of all the good words and catch phrases and wisps of inspiration that come to me, I will remember these two above all:  humility and responsibility.  These may be the hardest to come by - humility because it means shooing away my pride, responsibility because I am in the habit of using my gambling addiction as a thin excuse for getting out of obligations.  I pray that I may break these old patters.

Today I Will Remember - First humility, then responsibility. 

Monday, November 12, 2012

Group Power Can Be a Higher Power

November 12 - There are a few "absolutes" in the Gamblers Anonymous Twelve Steps of Recovery.  We're free to start at any point we can, or will. God, as we understand Him, may be defined as simply a "Power greater"; for man of us in the Program, the group itself was the first "Power greater."  And this acknowledgment is relatively easy to make if a newcomer knows that most of the members are free of compulsive gambling and he or she isn't.  This admission is the beginning of humility.  Perhaps for the first time, the newcomer is a least willing to disclaim that he himself - or she herself - is God.

Is my behaviour more convincing to newcomers than my words?

Today I Pray - May I define and discover my own Higher Power.  As that definition becomes clearer and closer to me, may I remember not to insist that my interpretation is right.  For each must find his or her own Higher Power.  If a newcomer is feeling godless and alone, the power of the group may be enough for now.  May I never discredit the power of the group.

Today I Will Remember - Group power can be a Higher Power. 

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Humility helps with addiction

November 11 - What, exactly, is humility?  Does it mean that we are to be submissive, accepting everything that comes our way, no matter how humiliating?  Does it mean surrender to ugliness and a destructive way of life?  On the contrary.  the basic ingredient of all humility is simply a desire to seek and do God's will.

Am I coming to understand that an attitude of true humility confers dignity and grace on me, strengthening me to take intelligent spiritual action in solving my problems?

Today I Pray - May I discover that humility is not bowing and scraping, kowtowing, or letting people walk all over me - all of which have built in expectations of some sort of personal reward, like approval or symphony.  Real humility is awareness of the vast love and unending might of God.  It is the perspective that tells me how I, as a human being, relate to the Divine Power.

Today I Will Remember - Humility is awareness of God. 

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Humility gives you intelligence

November 10 - When I first came to Gamblers Anonymous, I thought humility was just another word for weakness.  But gradually I learned that there's nothing incompatible between humility and intellect, just as long as I place humility first.  As soon as I began to do that,I was told, I would receive the gift of faith - a faith that would work for me as it has worked and continues to work for countless others who have been freed of their gambling addiction and have found a new way of life in the GA Program.

Have I come to believe, in the words of Heine, that "the actions of men are like the index of a book; they point out what is most remarkable in them"?

Today I Pray - May I never let my intelligence be an excuse for lack of humility.  It is so easy, if I consider myself reasonably bright and capable of making decisions and handling my own affairs, to look down upon humility as a property of those less intelligent.  May I remember that intelligence and humility are both God-given.

Today I Will Remember - If I have no humility, I have no intelligence. 

Friday, November 9, 2012

Find time for prayer

November 9 - As time passes, daily communion with God is becoming as essential to me as breathing in and out.  I don't need a special place to pray, because God always hears my call.  I don't need a special place to pray, because God always hears my call.  I don't need special words with which to pray, because God already knows my thoughts and my needs.  I have only to turn my attention to God, aware that His attention is always turned to me.

Do I know that only good can come to me if I trust God completely?

Today I Pray - May my communion with God become a regular part of my life, as natural as a heartbeat.  May I find, as I grow accustomed to the attitude of prayer, that it becomes less important to find a corner room, a bedside, a church pew, or even a special time of day, for prayer.  May my thoughts turn to God automatically and often, whenever there is a lull in my day or a need for direction.

Today I Will Remember - Let prayer become a habit. 

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Bring your Bucket

November 8 - My conscious contact with God depends entirely on me an don my desire for it.  God's power is available for me to use at all times; whether I decide to use it or not my choice.  It has been said that "God is present in all His creatures, but all are not equally aware of His presence."  I'll try to remind myself every day of how much depends on my awareness of God's influence in my life.  And I'll try to accept His help in everything I do.

Will I remember that God knows how to help me, that He can help me, and that He wants to help me?

Today I Pray - May I be aware always that God's power and peace are a bottomless well within me.  I can draw bucket after bucket from it to refresh and purify my life.  All I need to supply are the buckets and the rope.  The water is mine - free, fresh, healing, and unpolluted.

Today I Will Remember - The well is God's; I bring the buckets. 

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Reserve a Place for Prayer

November 7 - There are those in the Gamblers Anonymous Program who, at the beginning, shun meditation and prayer as they would avoid a pit filled with rattlesnakes.  When they do finally take the first tentative and experimental step, however, and unexpected things begin to take place, they begin to feel different.  Invariably, such tentative beginnings lead to true belief, to the extent that those who once belittled prayer and meditation often become walking advertisements for its rewards.  We hear in the GA Program that "almost the only scoffers at prayer are those who never really tried it."

Is there an obstinate part of me that still scoffs?

Today I Pray - May I learn, however irreverent I have been, that prayer is not to be mocked; I see the power of prayer effecting miracles around me, and I wonder.  If I have refused to pray, may I look to see if pride is in the way - that old pride that insists on doing things on its own.  Mow that I have found a place for prayer in my life, may I reserve that place - religiously.

Today I Will Remember - Whoever learns to pray keeps on praying.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Emotional Balance with Meditation

November 6 - There is no boundaries to meditation.  It has neither width, depth, not height, which means that it can always be further developed without limitation of any soft.  Meditation is an individual matter; few of us meditate in the same way, and in that sense, it is truly a personal adventure.  For all of us who practice meditation seriously, however, the purpose is the same:  to improve our conscious contact with God.  Despite its lack of specific dimensions and despite its intangibility, meditation is, in reality, the most intensely practical thing that we can do.  One of its first rewards, for example, is emotional balance.  What could be more practical than that?

Am I broadening and deepening the channel between me and God?

Today I Pray - As I seek God through daily prayer and meditation, may I find the peace that passes understanding, that balance that gives perspective to the whole of life.  May I center myself in God.

Today I Will Remember - My balance comes from God.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Eleventh Step Meditation

November 5 - For many months after I came to Gamblers Anonymous, I paid little attention to the Eleventh Step, to the practice of serious meditation and prayer.  I felt that it might help me meet an emergency - such as a sudden craving to return to gambling - but it remained among the lowest levels on my list of priorities.  In those early days, I equated prayer and meditation with mystery and even hypocrisy.  I've since found that the result of prayer and meditation are more rewarding than I could have ever imagined.  For me today, the harvest is increasingly bountiful, and I continue to gain peace of mind and strength far beyond my human limitations. 

Is my former pain being replaced by tranquility?

Today I Pray - May I find my own best way to God, my own best technique of meditation - whether I use an oriental mantra or the name of Jesus Christ, or just allow the spirit of God, as I understand Him, to settle into me and give me peace.  By whatever means I reach my God, may I learn to know Him well and feel His presence - not only in these quiet times, but in everything I do.

Today I Will Remember - Meditation is opening myself to the spirit of God.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

GA helps find Spirituality

November 4 - In the words of Teilhard de Chardin, "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience.  We are spiritual beings having a human experience."  Even though we acknowledge in theory that we are spiritual beings, most compulsive gamblers had to experience some sort of spiritual awakening before we were willing to turn our lives over to a Higher Power.  It was then that we could finally say we were spiritual beings.  For some of us, it was as though we had experienced spirituality for the first time in our lives.  But, no matter what our spiritual base had been previously, once we discovered this new sense of spirituality, it became an experience and a feeling we wold not soon be willing to leave behind.

Am I grateful for the "awakening" that has put me in touch with my Higher Power - and with my own spiritual essence?

Today I Pray - May I not forget how my outlook toward life, myself, friends, loved ones, and God had deteriorated prior to coming to Gamblers Anonymous.  May I do whatever it takes to keep my spiritual life from hitting bottom again.  May I keep growing spiritually - a day at a time.

Today I Will Remember - Let my spirituality guide my humanity.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Gamblers Highest and Finest Qualities

November 3 - The Gamblers Anonymous Red Book says: "The word spiritual can be said to describe those characteristics of the human mind that represent the highest and finest qualities, such as kindness, generosity, honesty, and humility.  Inasmuch as the Gamblers Anonymous Fellowship advocates consideration of these principles as a way of life, it is said that ours is a spiritual fellowship."  I have begun to understand that my spirituality has to do with my wholeness - the healthy congruency of truths, as I now perceive them, and my inner self.

Do I continue to strive for qualities that will bring me the greatest long-term happiness?

Today I Pray - May I work toward taking into myself those "highest and finest qualities" that define my spiritual being.  May I know the joys that come through living the GA way, until all life becomes a celebration shared especially with others who, like me, are trying to live up to these God-inspired principles.

Today I Will Remember - From spiritual holes to spiritual whole.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Manage Hurt Pride

November 2 - The more self-searching we do, the more we realize how often we react negatively because our pride has been hurt.  Pride is at the root of most of my personal problems.  When my pride is hurt, for example, I almost invariable experience resentment and anger - sometimes to the point where I'm unable to talk or think rationally.  When I'm in that sort of emotional swamp, I must remind myself that my pride - and nothing but my pride - has been injured.  I have to pause and try to cool off until such time as I can evaluate the problem realistically.

When my pride is injured or threatened, will I pray for humility so that I can rise above myself?

Today I Pray - May I know that if my pride is hurt, the rest of me may not be injured at all.  May I know that my pride can take a battering and still come back for more, stronger than ever.  May I know that every time my pride takes a blow, it is liable to get more defensive, nastier, more unreasonable, more feisty.  May I learn to keep my upstart pride in another place, where it will not be so easily hurt - or so willing to take credit.

Today I Will Remember - Humility is the only authority over pride.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Pride Can Be Dangerous

November 1 - Those whom I most respect in Gamblers Anonymous - and, in turn, those from whom I've learned the most - seem convinced that pride is, as one person put it, the "root-sin."  In moral theology, pride is the first of the seven deadly sins.  It is also considered the most seroius, standing apart from the rest by virtue of its unique quality.  Pride gets right into our spirtual victories.  It insinuates itself into all our successes and accomplishments, even when we attribute them to God. 

Do I struggle against pride by working the Tenth Step regularly, facing myself freshly and making things right where they've gone wrong?

Today I Pray - May I be on guard constantly against the sneakiness of pride, which can creep into every achievement, every triumph, every reciprocated affection.  May I know that whenever things are going well for me, my pride will be on the spot ready to take credit.  May I watch for it.

Today I Will Remember - Put pride in it's place. 

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Gambling Systems Never Work

October 31 - The mystery of ego:  painful when inflated and painful to deflate, often keeping me from wholeheartedly working the the Gamblers Anonymous Program.  Even armed with the truth, I too often fall back on the old, familiar ideas that let me to the edge of despair.  It takes such work to shrink the ego, and sometimes it inflates without my my knowing it.  I always thought my gambling systems would work; they never did.  I doubted GA would work; and it has - one day at  time. 

Am I willing, just for today, to release those old ideas and count on the GA way?

Today I Pray - May I know that a puffed up ego is inappropriate for me as a recovering compulsive gambler.  It hides my faults from me.  It turns people off and gets in the say of my helping others.  It halts my progress because it makes me think I've don't enough self searching and I'm "cured."  I pray to my Higher Power that I may be realistic enough to accept my success in the GA Program without giving in to pride.

Today I Will Remember - Pride can halt progress.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Gamblers Anonymous Gives Light Of Reason

October 30 - When I'm motivated to by pride - by bondage of self - I become partly or even wholly blind to my liabilities and shortcomings.  At that point, the last think I need is comfort.  Instead, I need an understanding friend in the Gamblers Anonymous Program - a friend who'll unhesitatingly chop a hole through the wall my ego has built so that the light of reason can once again shine through.

Do I take time to review my progress, to spot check myself on a daily basis, and to promptly try to remedy my wrongs?

Today I Pray - I pray that the group - or just one friend - will be honest enough to see my slippery manifestations of pride and brave enough to tell me about them.  My self-esteem was starved for so long that, with my first successes in the GA Program, it may swell to the gross proportions of self-satisfaction.  May a view from outside myself give me a true picture of how I am handling the triumph of my abstinence - with grateful humility or with pride.

Today I Will Remember - Self -esteem or self-satisfaction?

Monday, October 29, 2012

Smug Gamblers Must Watch Recovery.

October 29 - Virtually all of us suffered the defect of pride when we sought help through the Program, the Twelve Steps, and the Fellowship of recovering compulsive gamblers who truly understood what we felt and where we had been.  We learned about our shortcomings - and of pride in particular - and began to replace self-satisfaction with gratitude for the miracle of our recovery, gratitude for the privilege of working with others, and gratitude for God's gift, which enabled us to turn catastrophe into growth and good fortune.

Have I begun to realize that "pride is to character as the attic is to the house - the highest part, and generally the most empty"?

Today I Pray - God, please tell me if I am banging my shins on my own pride.  Luckily for me, the Gamblers Anonymous Program has its own built-in check for flaws like this - the clear-eyed vision of the group, which sees in me what I sometimes cannot see myself.  May I know that any kind of success has always gone straight to my head, and be watching for it as I begin to reconstruct my confidence.

Today I Will Remember - Smug "success" can become a setback.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Learn when you Listen

October 28 - I never cease to be amazed at how appropriate the topic at meetings I attend seems to be in relation to my life at that particular time.  We can only become students in the presence of a teacher - and when a student becomes ready, a teacher will appear.  We can only learn if we are being taught, and we can only teach after we learn.  I have come to realize that, although God is the greatest teacher of them all, most often we learn from others He has taught.

Do I learn when I listen?  Do I share what I learn?

Today I Pray - May I not forget those all-important lessons learned in Gamblers Anonymous.  In GA we are all students, and we are all teachers.  May I know that if I do not continue to learn, it may be because I'm not willing to be a student.  If I am not sharing, it may be that I need to be open to more learning.

Today I Will Remember - If I remain teachable, I will continue to find teacher.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Gamblers Anonymous Fourth Step

October 27 - The Gamblers Anonymous Program's Fourth Step suggests that we make a fearless moral and financial inventory of ourselves.  For so many of us, especially newcomers, the task seems impossible.  Each time we take pencils in hand and try to look inward.  Pride says scoffingly, "You don't have to bother to loo."  And Fear cautions, "You'd better not look!"  Eventually we find that pride and fear are mere wisps of smoke, the cloudy strands from which were woven the mythology of our old ideas.  When we push pride and fear aside and finally make a fearless inventory, we experience relief and a new sense of confidence beyond description.

Have I made an inventory?  Have I shared its rewards so as to encourage others?

Today I Pray - May I not be stalled by my inhibitions when it comes to making a moral inventory of myself.  May I not get to the Fourth Step and then screech to stop because the task seems overwhelming.  May I know that my inventory today, even though I try to make it "thorough" and honest, may not be as complete as it will be if I repeat it again, for the process of self-discovery goes on and on.

Today I Pray - Praise God for progress.

Friday, October 26, 2012

But for the Grace of God Go I

October 26 - From time to time when I see the slogan "There, but for the Grace of God Go I," I remember how I used to mouth those words when I saw others whose gambling addiction had brought them to what I considered a "hopeless and helpless" state.  The slogan had long been a cop out for me, reinforcing my denial of my own addiction by enabling me to point to others seemingly worse off than I.  "If I ever get like that, I'll quit gambling," was my often-repeated refrain.  Today, instead, There, but for the Grace of God Go I has become my prayer of thankfulness, reminding me to be grateful to my Higher Power for my recovery, my life, and the way of life I've found in the Gamblers Anonymous Program.

Was anyone ever more "helpless and hopeless" than I?

Today I Pray - May I know that, but for the grace of God, I could be dead or insane by now, because there have been others who started on the path of addictive gambling when I did who are no longer here.  May that same grace of God help those who are still caught in the downward spin, who are heading for disaster as sure as gravity.

Today I Will Remember - I have seen God's amazing grace.