Beware of Risky Emotional Involvements Too Early

September 30 - No matter what other people do or don't do, for ourselves we have to remain abstinent from gambling.  When our program of recovery becomes contingent of the actions or inactions of another person - especially someone with whom we're emotionally involved - the results are invariably disastrous.  We also need to remember that intense dislike is as much an emotional involvement as new-found romantic love.  In short, we have to cool any risky emotional involvements in the first few months of our recovery, tyring to accept the fact that our feelings can change quickly and dramatically.  Our watch word must be "First Things First," concentrating on our number one problem, recovery from compulsive gambling, before anything else.

Am I building a firm foundation while steering clear of slippery emotional areas?

Today I Pray - May I always remember that healthy relationships with people are necessary for my recovery, but that substituting an obsession with either a love or hate object is as dangerous to my well-being as any other addiction.

Today I Will Remember - A dependency is a dependency is a dependency. 

Relationships are Tricky for Gamblers

September 29 - In our first weeks or months in Gamblers Anonymous, our shaky emotional condition sometimes affects our feelings toward old friends and family.  For many of us, these relationships heal quickly in the initial stages of our recovery.  For others, a time of "touchiness" seems to persist; now that we're no longer gambling compulsively, we have to sort out our feelings about spouses, children, relatives, employers, fellow workers, and even neighbors.  Experience in the GA Program over the years teaches us that we should avoid making important decisions early in our recovery - especially emotion-charged decisions about people.

Am I becoming better equipped to relate maturely to other people?

Today I Pray - May God help me through the edginess, the confusion of re-feeling and re-thinking my relationships, the getting it all together stages of my recovery.  May I not rush into new relationships or new situations that demand an investment of my emotions - not yet.

Today I Will Remember - No entangling alliances too soon.

Be a Giver, Not a Constant Taker

September 28 - Now that we're free from our compulsion to gamble, and living life one day at a time, we can begin to stop making unreasonable demands upon those we love.  We can show kindness where we had shone none; we can take the time and initiative to be thoughtful, considerate, and compassionate.  Even with people we dislike, we can at least try to be courteous, at times literally going out of our way to understand and help them.

Just for today, will I try to understand rather than be understood, being courteous and respectful to all people with whom I'm in contact?

Today I Pray - May I never forget my old sponge-like self, who soaked up every drop of affection and attention my family or friends could give me, until they were sapped dry.  May I learn to be a giver, rather than a constant taker.  May I practice offering interest, kindness, consideration, and compassion until sensitivity to others becomes second nature to me.

Today I Will Remember - Giving is part of being.

Depend on the Right Power

September 27 - In times past, even as adults, many of us childishly insisted that people protect, defend, and care for us.  We acted as if the world owed US a living.  And then, when the people we most loved became fed up, pushing us aside or perhaps abandoning us completely, we were bewildered.  We couldn't see that our over dependence on people was unsuccessful because all human beings are fallible; even the best of them will sometimes let us down, especially when our demands are unreasonable.  Today, in contract, we rely upon God, counting on Him rather than on exclusively on ourselves or other people.

Am I tyring to do as I think God would have me do, trusting the outcome of His will for me?

Today I Pray - May I know, from the dependencies of my past, that I am a dependent person.  As I depended on compulsive gambling, I was inclined, too, to hang onto other people, depending on them for more than they could give.  May I, at last, switch from those adolescent dependencies to a mature, healthy dependency on my Higher Power.

Today I Will Remember - I have more than one dependency.

Experience a Full Awakening

September 26 - Is freedom form compulsive gambling all that we're to expect form a spiritual awakening?  Not at all.  Freedom from our addiction is only the bare beginnings; it's only the first gift of our first awaking.  Obviously, if more gifts are to come our way, our awakening has to continue.  As it does continue, we find that slowly but surely we can scrap the old life - the one that didn't work - for a new life that can and does work under any and all conditions.

Am I willing to continue my awakening through the practice of the Twelve Steps of Recovery? 

Today I Pray - May I remember how it was when my only goal in life was to be free of compulsive gambling.  All the words and phrases I used were stoppers - "giving it up, quitting, cutting myself off."  Once I was free, I began to realize that my freedom had more to do with beginning than stopping.  May I now continue to think in terms of starters - "expanding, awakening, growing, learning, becoming..."

Today I Will Remember - My stopping was a starting point.

Write a Recovery Inventory

September 25 - At the suggestion of a long-timer in Gamblers Anonymous, I began taking "recovery inventories" periodically.  The results showed me - clearly and unmistakably - that the promises of the GA Program have been true for me.  I am not the sick person I was in years past; I am no longer bankrupt in all areas; I have a new life and a path to follow, and I'm at peace with myself most of the time.  And that's a far cry from the time in my life when I dreaded facing each new day.  Perhaps we should all write recovery inventories form time to time, showing how the Program is working for each of us.

Just for today, will I try to sow faith where there is fear?

Today I Pray - God, let me compare my new life with the old one - just to see how things have changed for me.  May I make progress reports for myself now and then - and for those who are new to GA.  May these reports be - heartening - about "what I am doing" rather than - smugly - about "what I have done."

Today I Will Remember - Has the Program kept its promise?  Have I kept mine?

Tend to your Garden

September 24 - "Everybody wants to be somebody, nobody wants to grow," wrote Goethe.  I ask myself sometimes, as we all do: Who am I?  Where am I?  Where am I going?  What's it all about?  The learning and growing process is usually slow.  But eventually our seeking always brings a finding.  What seems like great mysteries often turn out to be enshrined in complete simplicity.

Have I accepted the fact that my willingness to grow is the essence of my spiritual development?

Today I Pray - God give me the patience and the perseverance to keep on hoeing the long row, even when the end of it is out of sight.  The principles of the Gamblers Anonymous Program are my almanac for growing, even more than harvesting.  The harvest will come, abundant enough to share, if I can just stick to my garden-tending.

Today I Will Remember - Getting there, not being there.

Work is Not to Remake Yourself

September 23 - On studying the Twelve Steps of Recovery, many of us as newcomers to Gamblers Anonymous exclaimed, "What an order!  I can't go through with it." "Don't be discouraged," we're told at meeting after meeting.  "No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles.  We are not saints.  The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines.  The principles we have set down are guides to progress.  We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection."

Can I believe, in the words of Browning, that my business is not to remake myself but to make the absolute best of what God made?

Today I Pray - Even if I am an old hand at the GA Program, may I not forget that the Twelve Steps of Recovery do not represent an achievement that can be checked off my "things to do" list.  Instead, they are a striving fro an ideal, a guide to getting there.  May I keep my mind open to deepening interpretations of these principles.

Today I Will Remember - Progress rather than perfection.

Rid All Compulsive Thinking

September 22 - For a considerable period of time after I reached Gamblers Anonymous, I let things I couldn't do keep me from doing the things I could.  If I was bothered by what a speaker or other people said, I retreated, sulking, into my shell.  Now, instead of being annoyed or defensive when someone strikes a raw nerve, I try to welcome it - because it allows me to work on my attitudes and perceptions of God, self, other people, and my life situation.  We may no longer gamble compulsively, but we sometimes have a compulsive thinking problem.

Am I willing to grow - and grow up?

Today I Pray - May God give me courage to test my new wings - even a feather at a time.  May I not wait to be entirely whole before I re-enter the world of everyday opportunity, for recovery is ongoing and growth comes through challenges.  May I no longer make desperate stabs at perfection, but keep my aims of sight and develop as I live - a day at a time.

Today I will Remember - Things I can't do should not get in the way of things I can. 

Life is Recovery is Better

September 21 - I've heard it said that when God closes a door, He opens a window.  Since I started working the Twelve Steps of Recovery, much of the fear and pain that haunted my life is gone.  Some of my defects have been lifted from me, though I'm still wrestling with others.  I believe that if I continue to work the Twelve Steps over and over again, my life will continue to improve - physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Am I more willing and able to help others by working the Steps myself?

Today I Pray - I give thanks to God for showing me that the Gamblers Anonymous Twelve Steps of Recovery are a stairway to a saner life.  As I rework them conscientiously, my life does get better, healthier, and nearer to my Higher Power.  As I continue to live them, may I feel the same gratitude and exaltation of spirit as those who are just now discovering them.

Today I Will Remember - Step by Step, day by day. 

Strength Through Adversity

September 20 - "When a man has reached a condition in which he believed that a thing must happen when he does not wish it, and that which he wishes to happen can never be, this is really the state called desperation," wrote Schopenhauer.  The very real pain of emotional difficulties is sometimes very had to take while we're trying to maintain abstinence.  Yet we learn, in time, that overcoming such problems is the real test of the Gamblers Anonymous way of living.

Do I believe that adversity gives me more opportunity to grow than does comfort or success?

Today I Pray - May I believe firmly that God, in His infinite wisdom, does not send me those occasional moments of emotional stress in order to tease my abstinence, but to challenge me to grow in my control and conviction.  May I learn not to be afraid of emotional summits and canyons, for the Gamblers Anonymous Program has outfitted me for all kinds of terrain.

Today I Will Remember - Strength through adversity.

Helpless, Hopeless, Powerless ... No MORE

September 19 - It's still not exactly a "piece of cake" for me to accept today's occasional pain and anxiety with any great degree of serenity, but I'm increasingly able to be thankful for a certain amount of pain.  In the Gamblers Anonymous Program, we find the willingness to do this by going over the lessons learned from past sufferings - lessons which have led to the blessings we now enjoy.  We can remember how the agonies of our gambling days - and the pain of rebellion and bruised pride - have often led us to God's grace, and thus to new freedom.

Have I thanked my Higher Power for the miracle of my life this day?

Today I Pray - When I was helpless, I asked God for help.  When I was hopeless, I reached out for His hope.  When I was powerless over my compulsive gambling, I asked to share His power.  Now I can honestly thank God that I was helpless, hopeless, and powerless, because I have seen a miracle.

Today I Will Remember - From powerless highs and lows to a Higher Power.

Pain is the Price of Admission

September 18 - In every story we hear from others in Gamblers Anonymous, pain has been the price of admission into a new life.  But our admission price purchased far more than we expected.  It led us to a degree of humility, which we soon discovered to be a healer of pain.  And, in time, we begin to fear pain less, and desire humility more than ever.

Am I learning to "sit loosely in the saddle," making the most of what comes and the least of what goes?

Today I Pray?  If God's plan for us is spiritual growth, a closer alliance with His principles of what is good and what is true, when may I believe that all my experiences have added up to a new and improved me.  May I not fear the lessons of pain.  May I know that I must continue to grow through pain, as well as joy.

Today I Will Remember - I hurt; therefore I am.

Remain a Good Teacher

September 17 - When I see new members come into Gamblers Anonymous, I am reminded first of the pain and unmanageable mess I found myself in, and then the hope I felt once I became willing to accept the Gamblers Anonymous Program.  When I see and hear the Old Timers, some with twenty years or more in GA, I am reminded that, if I am to continue to recover, I need to make this Program part of my daily life.  Although I cannot forget yesterday, TODAY must be my main focus.

Do I know that if I make the GA Program part of my life today, I need not worry about the future or be burdened with regrets from the past?

Today I Pray - Make me doubly willing - to share my experiences with new members and to listen to those more experienced than I.  Newcomers and Old Timbers both offer me valuable lessons, if I will just listen and learn.  Help me to learn more so that I may offer more.

Today I Will Remember - A good teacher remains teachable.

Face the Pain that Caused you to Gamble

September 16 - We learn from others in Gamblers Anonymous that the best way to deal with painful situations is to meet them head on, to deal with them honestly and realistically, and to try to learn from them and use them as springboards for growth.  Through the GA Program and our contact with a Higher Power, we can find the courage to use pain for triumphant growth.

Will I believe that whatever pain I experience is a small price to pay for the joy of becoming the person I was meant to be?

Today I Pray - May my Higher Power give me the courage I need to stop running away from painful situations.  If I once used gambling as an escape hatch from pain, may I be very aware that gambling itself became the pain, from which there was no escape until I found the GA Program.  Now, may I face pain - past and present - and learn from it.

Today I Will Remember - Gambling: first a trap door, then a trap.

A Gamblers Pain has Uses

September 15 - No one welcomes pain with open arms, but it does have its uses.  Just as physical pain serves as a warming that we may be suffering a bodily illness, so can emotional pain be a useful sign that something is wrong - as well as a warming that we need to make a change.  when we can meet pain without panic, we can learn to deal with the cause of the hurt, rather than running away.

Can I bear some emotional discomfort?  Am I less fragile than I once believed?

Today I Pray - I pray I may be better able to face hurt or pain, now that I am getting to know reality - good and bad.  I sincerely pray that my tendency to be super sensitive will disappear, that people will not feel they must treat me like blown lass, which could shatter at a puff of criticism.

Today I Will Remember - Throw away my stamp:  "Fragile - Handle with Care."

Compulsive Gambling is a Temporary Solution

September 14 - Until we came to the Gamblers Anonymous Program, our lives had been spent running from pain and problems.  Escape by way of compulsive gambling was always our temporary solution.  Then we started going to meetings.  We looked and listened, often with amazement. Everywhere around us, we saw failure and misery transformed by humility into priceless assets.  To those who've made progress in the GA Program of Recovery, humility is simply a clear recognition of what and who we really are - followed by a sincere attempt to become what we can be.

Is the GA Program showing me what I can be?

Today I Pray - I pray for humility, which is another word for perspective, a level look at the real me and where I stand in relation to God and other people.  May I be grateful to humility:  it is the processing plant through which my raw hurts and delusions are refined into new courage and sensitivities.

Today I Will Remember - Humility restores my "sight".

Flag Down Your Crazy Train

September 13 - We hear often in our Gamblers Anonymous meetings that pain is the touchstone of spiritual progress.  We eventually realize that, just as the pains of compulsive gambling had to come before our abstinence, emotional turmoil comes before serenity.  We no longer commiserate with all people who suffer, but only with those who suffer in ignorance - those who don't understand the purpose and ultimate utility of pain.  In Proust's words, "To goodness and wisdom we make only promises; pain we obey."

Do I believe that pain is God's way of trying to get my attention?

Today I Pray - May I understand the value of pain in my life, especially if I am headed breakneck down a track of self-destruction.  May I know that pain is God's way of flagging down the train I'm on before it gets to a bridge wash-out.  May I be thankful that pain forced me to throw the switch in time.

Today I Will Remember - Pain saves lives.

Gamblers Find Better Ways to Use Mind

September 12 - "At certain moments," wrote Coleridge, "a single most insignificant sorrow may, by association, bring together all the little relics of pain and discomfort, bodily and mental, that we have endured even from infancy."  The Gamblers Anonymous Program doesn't teach us to pretend that hardships and sorrow are meaningless.  Grief really hurts and so do other kinds of pain.  But now that we're free of our compulsive gambling, we have much greater control over our thinking.  And the thoughts we choose to spend time on during any given day can strongly influence the complexion of our feelings for that day.

Am I finding different and better ways of using my mind?

Today I Pray - May I thank God for the pain that magnetizes my succession of old hurts into one large one that I can take out and look at, and then discard to make room for new and present concerns.  May I thank God for restoring my sensitivity to pain after the reckless numbness of my gambling days.

Today I Will Remember - I can thank God for restoring my feelings.

Most Important Person in the Room

September 11 - One thing, more than anything else, that can relieve my occasional feeling of depression is love.  I have to keep myself "lovable" in the sense of being able to love others, rather than being concerned with whether others love me. In somehow losing myself in others, emotionally or spiritually, I usually find myself.  Today I understand what they meant at my first blurry meetings of Gamblers Anonymous when they told me that I was the most important person in the room.

Do I say the same thing to other new members today, and mean it?

Today I Pray - May I know that if I can love others, without expecting to be loved back, chances are that I will receive a share of love in return.  It is only my expectation of approval that cancels out the value of my love.

Today I Will Remember - Love is not an investment, but a charitable contribution.

Loneliness is Treatable

September 10 - Years ago, Dr. Alfred Adler prescribed this remedy for depression to a patient: "You can be healed if every day you begin the first thing in the morning to consider how you can bring a  real joy to someone else.  If you can stick to this for two weeks, you will no longer need therapy."  Adler's "prescription," of course, is not much different from the suggestion that we work more intensively the Twelfth Step to rid ourselves of depression.

When I am depressed, do I keep my feelings to myself?  Or do I do what friends in Gamblers Anonymous have suggested I do?

Today I Pray - May I turn myself inside out, air out the depression that has been closeted inside me, replace it with the comfortable feeling that I am cared about by real friends, then pass along that comfort to others caught in the same despair.

Today I Will Remember - The only real despair is loneliness - and loneliness is treatable.

Share the Power of Gamblers Anonymous

September 9 - The longer I'm in the Gamblers Anonymous Program and the longer I try to practice its principles in all my affairs, the less frequently I become morose and depressed.  Perhaps, too, there's something to that cynical old saying, "Blessed is he that expected nothing, for he shall not be disappointed, but instead will be delighted daily by new and fresh evidence of the love of God and the friendliness of men and women."

Does someone, somewhere, need me today?  Will I look for that person and try to share what I've been given in the GA Program?

Today I Pray - May I be utterly grateful to God for lifting my depression.  May I know that my depression will always lighten if I do not expect too much.  May I know that the warmth of friends can fill the cold hollow of despair.  May I give my warmth to someone else.

Today I Will Remember - To look for someone to share with.

Compulsive Gamblers Can Choose Not To Be Hopeless

September 8 - We are told that no situation is hopeless.  At first, of course, we find this hard to believe.  The opposites - hope and despair - are human emotional attitudes.  It is we who are hopeless, not the condition of our lives.  When we give up hope and become depressed, it's because we're unable, for now, to believe in the possibility of change for the better.

Can I accept this: "Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed unless it's faced"?

Today I Pray - May I remember that, because I am human and can make choices, I am never "hopeless."  Only the situation I find myself in may seem hopeless, which may reduce me to a state of helpless depression as I see my choices being blocked off.  May I remember, too, that even when I see no solution, I can choose to ask God's help.

Today I Will Remember - I can choose not to be hopeless.

Problems Have Endings

September 7 - "If you're not all right the way you are," it's been said, "it takes a lot of effort to get better.  Realize you're all right the way you are, and you'll get better naturally."  Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation so difficult that it seems insoluble.  The more we think about it, the more we get on our own backs for our imagined inadequacy to overcome the situation - and we sink into depression.  That's the moment to recall a single phrase, slogan, or bit of philosophy, saying it over and over until it replaces thoughts of the tormenting problem - which, in the final analysis will take care of itself.

Do I sometimes forget that the thorns have roses?

Today I Pray - May I see that God gives us patterns so that we can take comfort in opposites - day follows night; silence follows din; love follows loneliness; release follows suffering.  If I am ineffectual, may I realize it and try to do something constructive.  If I am insensitive, may my friends confront me into greater sensitivity.

Today I Will Remember - Clouds have linings.  Problems have endings.

Realistic Goals Help With Depression

September 6 - As practicing compulsive gamblers, we were all to familiar with depression, that pile-up of dark feelings that seemed to close over our heads at regular intervals.  Even now, when I am not making progress at the rate I expect I should be, when I expect a total turnaround in my spiritual self overnight, those familiar feelings of gloom can come calling on me again, if I hold the door open for them.

Do I recognize that my goals of perfection are directly related to my feeling of depression?  Do I admit that depression today, in my recover, is less debilitating and more within my power to change?

Today I Pray - When I am immobilized by depression, may I set small, reasonable goals - as miniature perhaps as saying hello to a child, washing my own coffee cup, neatening my desk, offering a short prayer.  May I scrap my own script for failure, which sets me up for deeper depression.

Today I Will Remember - Goals set too high set me back.

Gamblers Must Set Realistic Expectations

September 5 - We're often told that compulsive gamblers are perfectionists, impatient about any shortcomings - especially our own.  We tend to set impossible goals for ourselves, struggling fiercely to reach our unattainable ideals.  Then of course - since no person could possibly meet the extremely high standards we demand of ourselves - we find ourselves falling short.  Discouragement and depression set in; we angrily punish ourselves for being less than superhuman.  The next time around, rather than setting more realistic goals, we set them even higher.  And we fall farther, then punish ourselves more severely.

Isn't it about time I stopped setting unattainable goals for myself, as well as for those around me?

Today I Pray - May God temper my own image of myself as a superperson.  May I settle for less than perfection from myself, as well as from others.  For only God is perfect, and I am limited by being human.

Today I Will Remember - I am not God; I am only human.

Find a Saner Way of Life

September 4 - Through I have prayed at various times in my life, I realized after several months in Gamblers Anonymous that I'd never really prayed properly.  I'd always tried to make deals with God, much like a foxhole atheist; I'd always pleaded, "Grand me my wishes," instead of "Thy will - not mine - be done."  The result was that I remained self-deceived and was thus incapable of receiving enough grace to restore me to a saner way of life.

Do I see that, in the past, when I prayed to God, I usually asked that two and two not make four?

Today I Pray - May I look back and review how I have prayed before, for specific solutions that I, from my earthly vantage, felt were best.  May I question, in the longer view of time, whether those solutions would have been right had God chosen to do things my way.  In retrospect, may I see that my please were not always so wise.  May I be content to trust God.

Today I Will Remember - God may not do it my way.

Holidays are Hard for Gamblers

We encourage you to spend the day with family, not in a gambling mess!  Enjoy the sunshine, enjoy a BBQ, enjoy the people in your life who love you!  Stay Strong!  Meetings are still held on holidays - so please come.

Step Eleven Keeps Us Growing

September 3 - Sometimes, even when friends in and outside of the Gamblers Anonymous Program tell us how well we're doing, we know deep down that we're really not doing well enough.  We still have trouble handling life and facing reality on reality's terms.  We suspect, at those times, that there must be a serious flaw in our spiritual practice and development.  Chances are strong that our trouble lies in either the misunderstanding or neglect of Step Eleven - prayer, meditation, and the guidance of God.  The other Steps can keep most of us clean and functioning.  But Step Eleven can keep us growing - so long as we try had and work at it continuously. 

Do I trust infinite God rather than my finite self?

Today I Pray - I pray for a deepening of my spiritual awareness, for a stronger faith in the Unseen, for a closer communion with my Higher Power.  May I realize that my growth in the GA Program depends on my spiritual development.  May I give over more of my trust to God's eternal wisdom.

Today I Will Remember - I will not give in or give up, but give over to the power of God. 

Think About Today

September 2 - When I wake up, I'll think quietly about the twenty-four hours ahead.  I'll ask God to direct my thinking, especially asking that it be free from self-pity and from dishonest or self-seeking motives.  If I have to determine which of several courses to take, I'll ask God for inspiration, for an intuitive thought, or a decision.  Then I'll relax and take it easy, confident that all will be well. 

Can I believe that, when I give up my "rights" of expectations, I'll know freedom?

Today I Pray - I praise God for being able to praise God, to choose the times when I will seek Him, to find my own words when I talk to Him, to address Him in the way that seems most right to me.  May I expect that He in turn must be free of my expectations, to affect my life as He sees fit.

Today I Will Remember - Who am I to try to tell God what to do?

Fake It Until You Make It

September 1 - The Gamblers Anonymous Red Book, in explaining Step Eleven, says "A conscious contact seems to start with daily prayer.  What is prayer?  To some it is a personal chat with their Higher Power.  So each of us can pray as we see fit."  If at first prayer seems difficult, you can "fake it until you make it." "In time you will grow to eagerly accept prayer and know the rewards it will give you...Prayer enlarges the ability to cope."

Have I accepted prayer and meditation as a part of my life?

Today I Pray - I praise my Higher Power for my freedom to find my own understanding of God.  May my life be God's, whether I think of Him as a Father whose hand and spirit I can tough with an upward reach of my own, or as a universal Spirit that I can merge with as the hard outlines of my "self" begin to melt, or as a core of Divine and absolute goodness inside myself.  May I know Him well, whether I find Him within me, without me, or in all things everywhere.

Today I Will Remember - I thank God, as I understand Him, for my understanding of Him.