Has is been a while since you called a member from your group? Sure we think of each other often and of course we see each other usually once a week...but what about those other days? Call someone from your phone list! Even if it's just to say hi...
July 31 - One of the most serious consequences of the me-me-me syndrome
is that we lose touch with practically everyone around us - not to
mention reality itself. The essence of self-pity is total
self-absorption, and it feeds on itself. Rather than ignore such an
emotional state - or deny that we're in it - we need to pull out of our
self-absorption, stand back, and take a good honest look at ourselves.
Once we recognize self-pity for what it is, we can begin to do something
about it.
July 30 - When we first come to Gamblers Anonymous, the most common
variety of self-pity begins: "Poor me! Why can't I just gamble now and
then, like everybody else? Why me?" Such bemoaning, if allowed to
persist, is a surefire invitation for a long walk off a short pier -
right back to the mess we were in before we came to GA. When we stick
around this Program for a while, we discover that it's not just "me" at
all; we become involved with people, from all walks of life, who are in
exactly the same boat.
July 29 - The feeling of self-pity, which we've all felt at one time or
another, is one of the ugliest emotions we can experience. We don't
even relish the thought of admitting to others that we're awash in
self-pity. We hate being told that it shows; we quickly argue that
we're feeling another emotion instead; we go so far as to hide -
cleverly - from ourselves the fact that we're going through a siege of
"poor-meism". By the same token, in a split second we can easily find
several dozen "valid" reasons for feeling sorry for ourselves.
July 28 - We learn the value of meditation in the Gamblers Anonymous
Program. As the beginning of the Eleventh Step suggests, we sought
through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God
as we understood Him. One of the great values of meditation is that it
clears the mind. And as the mind becomes clearer, it becomes more
capable and willing to acknowledge the truth. Less pain is required to
force honest recognition of defects and their results. The real needs
of the whole person are revealed.
July 27 - Over and over, I see that those who make the best and
steadiest progress in the Gamblers Anonymous Program of Recovery are
those who readily accept the help of a Higher Power. Once they can do
that, it's easier for them to get out of their own way. Their problems
then seem to resolve themselves in a way that is beyond human
understanding.
July 26 - Now that I avail myself of the letters H O W suggested by
friends in the Gamblers Anonymous Program - Honesty, Open-Mindedness,
Willingness- I see things in a new light. In ways that I couldn't have
predicted and surely never expected, I've come to see things quite
differently than I did before coming to GA. I feel good most days. I
seldom feel bad, and never for long. Certainly never as bad as I used
to feel all of the time.
July 24 - How, exactly, can a person turn his or her own will and life
over to the care of a Higher Power? All that's needed is a beginning,
no matter how small. The minute we put the key of willingness in the
lock, the latch springs open. Then the door itself starts to open,
perhaps ever so slightly; in time we find that we can always open it
wider. Self-will may slam the door shut again, and it often does. But
the door can always be reopened, time and time again if necessary, so
long as we use our key of willingness.
July 23 - Today I'll try to settle for less than I wish were possible,
and be willing to not only accept it but to appreciate it. Today, I'll
not expect too much of anyone - especially myself. I'll try to remember
that contentment comes from gratefully accepting the good that comes to
us, and not from being furious at life because it's not "better."
July 22 - Gamblers Anonymous has taught me that the essence of all
growth for me is a willingness to change for the better. Following
that, I must have further willingness to shoulder whatever
responsibility this entails, and to take courageously every action that
is required."I am and know and will;-St. Augustine
I am knowing and willing;
I know myself to be and to will;
I will to be and to know."
July 21 - When we're faced with some condition or situation not to our
liking, how can we have faith that all things are working together for
good? Perhaps we have to ask ourselves just what is faith. Faith has
its foundation in truth and love. We can have faith, if we so choose,
no matter what the situation. And, if we so choose, we can expect
ultimate good to come forth.
July 20 - "It is the privilege of wisdom to listen," Oliver Wendell
Holmes once wrote. If I try as hard as I can to cultivate the art of
listening - uncritically and without making premature judgements -
chances are great that I'll progress more rapidly in my recovery. If I
try as hard as I can to listen to the feelings and thoughts expressed -
rather than to the "speaker" - I may be blessed with an unexpectedly
helpful idea. The essential quality of good listening is humility,
which reflects the fact that God's voice speaks to us even through the
least and most inarticulate of His children.
July 19 - Many of us come to the Gamblers Anonymous Program professing
that we're agnostic or atheistic. As someone once put it, our will is
disbelieve is so strong that we prefer a date with the undertaker to an
experimental and open-minded search for a Higher Power. Fortunately for
those of us with closed minds, the constructive forces in the GA
Program almost always overcome our obstinacy. Before long, we discover
the bountiful world of faith and trust. It was there all along, but we
lacked the willingness and open-mindedness to accept it.
July 18 - Very few of us know what we really want, and none of us knows
what is best for us. That knowledge is in the hands of God. This is a
fact I must ultimately accept, in spite of my rebelliousness and
stubborn resistance. From this day forward, I'll limit my prayers to
requests for guidance, an open mind to receive it, and the strength to
act upon it. To the best of my capability, I'll defer all decisions
until my contact with my Higher Power has made it seemingly apparent
that the decisions are right for me.
July 17 - For my own good, I'll go to meetings and participate in
discussion with an open mind that's ready to receive and accept new
ideas. For my own peace of mind and comfort, I'll determinedly try to
apply those new ideas to my own life. I'll remember that the Gamblers
Anonymous Program offers me the instruction and support I can't find
elsewhere. I'll seek out others who understand my problems, and I'll
accept their guidance in matters that cause me discomfort and
confusion.
July 15 - Faced with almost certain destruction by our addiction to
gambling, we eventually had no choice but to become open-minded on
spiritual matters. In that sense, the multitude of ways we used to bet
and wager were potent persuaders; they finally whipped us into a state
of reasonable-ness. We came to learn that when we stubbornly close the
doors on our minds, we're locking out far more than we're locking in.
July 14 - Conditioned as we are by our old ideas and old ways of living,
it's understandable that we tend to resist certain suggestions made to
us when we first come to the Gamblers Anonymous Program. If that's the
case, there's no need to reject such suggestions permanently; it's
better, we've found, just temporarily to set them aside. The point is,
there's no hard-and-fast "right" way or "wrong" way. Each of us uses
what's best for him or her at a particular time, keeping an open mind
about other kinds of help we may find valuable at another time.
July 13 - These days, I go to meetings to listen for the similarities
between me and others in Gamblers Anonymous - not the differences. And
when I look for the similarities, it's amazing how many I find,
particularly in the area of feelings. Today I go to meetings thinking
that I'm here not because of anyone else's addictions, but because of
mine and, most importantly, what my addiction did to my spirit and
body. I'm here because there's no way I can stay free of my addiction
by myself. I need the GA Program and my Higher Power.
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
July 12 - In many respects, the Fellowship of Gamblers anonymous is like
a reasonably happy cruise ship or, in time of trouble, like a convoy.
But in the long run, each of us must chart his or her own course through
life. When the seas are smooth, we may become careless. By neglecting
Step Ten, we may get out of the habit of checking our position. If
we're mindful of Step Ten, however, then we rarely go so far wrong that
we can't make a few corrections and get back on course again.
July 11 - Someone once defined the ego as "the sum total of false ideas
about myself." Persistent reworking of the Twelve Steps enables me
gradually to strip away my false ideas about myself. This permits
nearly imperceptible but steady growth in my understandings of the truth
about myself. And this, in turn, leads to a growing understanding of
God and other human beings.
July 10 - The Gamblers Anonymous Program is a road, not a resting
place. Before we came to this Program - and, for some of us, many times
afterward - most of us looked for answers to our living problems in
religion, philosophy, psychology, in theories of self-control and
personal growth. Often these explorations of ours aimed at goals that
were precisely what we wanted: freedom, calm, confidence, and joy. But
they seldom provided any workable methods for getting there - for how
to get from the doldrums of despair we found ourselves in to where we
wanted to be.
July 8 - When we speak with a friend in the Gamblers Anonymous Program,
we shouldn't hesitate to remind him or her of our need for privacy.
Intimate communication is normally so free and easy among us that even a
friend or sponsor may sometimes forget when we expect him to remain
silent. Such "privileged communications" have important advantages.
For one thing, we find in them the perfect opportunity to be as honest
as we know how to be. For another, we don't have to worry about the
possibility of injury to other people, nor the fear of ridicule or
condemnation. At the same time, we have the best possible chance to
spot self-deception.
July 7 - What wonderful things could happen in my life if I could get
rid of my natural impulse to justify my actions. is honesty so deeply
repressed under layers of guilt that I can't release it to understand my
motives? Being honest with ourselves isn't easy. It's difficult to
search out why I had this or that impulse and, more importantly, why I
acted upon it. Nothing makes us feel so vulnerable as to give up the
crutch of "the alibi," yet my willingness to be vulnerable will go a
long way toward helping me grown in the Gamblers Anonymous Program.
July 5 - I am free to be, to do, to accept, to reject. I am free to be
the wise, loving, kind, and patient person I want to be. I'm free to do
that which I consider wise - that which in no way harm or hinder
another person. I'm free to do that which will lead me into paths of
peace and satisfaction. I'm free to do decide for or against, to say no
and to say yes. I'm free to live life in a productive way and to
contribute what I have to give to life.
