November 23 - Before I came to Gamblers Anonymous, I was like an actor who insisted on writing the script, producing, directing, and, in short, running the whole show. I had to do it my way, forever trying to arrange and re-arrange the lights, lines, sets, and, most of all, the ohter players' performances. If only my arrangements would stay put, and people whold behave as I wished, the show would be fantastic. My self delusion led me to believe that if they all would just shape up, everything would be fine. Of course, it never worked out that way.
Isn't it amazing how others seem to be "shaping up" now that I've stopped trying to manage everything and everybody?
Today I Pray - May I talk myself out of that old urge to control everything and everyody. Time was, if I couldn't manage directly, I would do it indirectly, through manipulation, secret conferences, and asides. May I know that, if I am the one who is always pulling the strings on the marionettes, then I am also the one who feels the frustration when they collapse or slip off the stage.
Today I Will Remember - I can only "shape up" myself.
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