October 20 - Before I admitted my powerlessness over gambling, I had as much self-worth as a "peeled zero." I came into Gamblers Anonymous as a nobody who desperately wanted to be a somebody. In retrospect, my self-esteem was shredded, seemingly beyond repair. Gradually, the Program has enabled me to achieve an ever strong sense of self-worth. I've come to accept myself, realizing that I'm not as bad as I had always supposed myself to be.
Am I learning that my self-worth is not dependent on the approval of others, but instead is truly an "inside job"?
Today I Pray - When I am feeling down and worthless, may my Higher Power and my friends in the group help me see that, although I was "fallen," I was not "cast down." However sick I might have been in my gambling days, with all the self-esteem of an earthworm, may I know that I still had the power of choice. And I chose to do something about myself. May that good choice be the basis for my reactivated self-worth.
Today I Will Remember - I will not kick myself when I'm down.
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