June 21 - "Direct" is a key word in the Ninth Step. There are times,
unfortunately, when many of us are hopeful that indirect amends will
suffice, sparing us the pain and supposed humiliation of approaching
people in person and telling them of our wrongs. This is evasion and
will never give us a true sense of breaking with the wrongdoing of the
past. It shows that we're still trying to defend something that isn't
worth defending, hanging on to conduct that we ought to abandon. The
usual reasons for sidestepping direct amends are pride and fear.
As I make amends to others, do I realize that the real, lasting benefits accrue to me?
Today I Pray - May I be sure that the best reward for coming on straight
as I try to repair my damages is, after all, my own. But may I avoid
making amends purely for my own benefit - to be forgiven, to be
reinstated, to flaunt the "new me." Ego-puffing and people-pleasing are
not part of the real "new me." God save m from opportunism.
Today I Will Remember - No puffery or people-pleasing.
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