June 30 - I've learned in the Gamblers Anonymous Program that the trick, for
me, is not stopping gambling, but staying stopped and learning how not to start
again. God knows, I tried to stop plenty of times, by lecturing myself on
how it was affecting not only my life, but all aspects of my behavior.
Gambling was actually changing who I seemed to be. To stay stopped, I've
had to develop a positive, ongoing program of action. I've had to learn
to live free from addiction, cultivating new patterns, new interest, and new
attitudes.
Am I remaining flexible in my new life? Am I exercising my freedom to
abandon limited objectives?
Today I Pray - I pray that my new life will be filled with new patterns, new
friends, new activities, new ways of looking at things. I need God's help
to overhaul my lifestyle to include all the newness it must hold. I also
need a few ideas of my own. May my independence from compulsive gambling
help me make my choices with an open mind and a clear, appraising
eye.
Today I Will Remember - Stopping is starting.
Gamblers Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from a gambling problem. GA of West Michigan serves Grand Rapids, Grand Haven, Hudsonville, Whitehall, and all surrounding communities.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Crossed paths and happenstance?
June 29 - Once we surrendered and came to the Gamblers Anonymous
Program, many of us wondered what we would do with all that time on our
hands. All the hours we'd previously spent planning, hiding, alibiing,
losing our shirts, borrowing, juggling accounts - and all the rest -
threatened to turn into empty chunks of time that somehow had to be
filled. We needed new ways to use the energy previously absorbed by our
addiction. We soon realized that substituting a new and different
activity is far easier than just stopping the old activity and putting
nothing in its place.
Am I redirecting my mind and energy?
Today I Pray - I pray that, once free of the encumbrance of my addiction, I may turn to my Higher Power to discover for me how to fill my time constructively and creatively. May that same Power that makes human paths cross and links certain people to specific situations, lead me along good new roads into good new places.
Today I Will Remember - Happenstance may be more than chance.
Am I redirecting my mind and energy?
Today I Pray - I pray that, once free of the encumbrance of my addiction, I may turn to my Higher Power to discover for me how to fill my time constructively and creatively. May that same Power that makes human paths cross and links certain people to specific situations, lead me along good new roads into good new places.
Today I Will Remember - Happenstance may be more than chance.
Friday, June 28, 2013
How is your life a miracle?
Feel free to comment anonymously and tell our readers how your life is a miracle since you've been free of gambling?
Life is a miracle
June 28 - Almost daily, I hear of seeming mysterious coincidences in the
lives of my friends in Gamblers Anonymous. From time to time, I've
experienced such "coincidences" myself: showing up at the right place
at exactly the right time; phoning a friend who, unbeknownst to me,
desperately needed that particular phone call at the precise moment;
hearing "my story" at an unfamiliar meeting in a strange town. These
days, I choose to believe that may of life's so-called "coincidences"
are actually small miracles of God, who prefers to remain anonymous.
Am I continually grateful for the miracle of my recovery?
Today I Pray - May my awareness of a Higher Power working in our lives grow in sensitivity as I learn, each day, of "coincidences" that defy statistics, illnesses that reverse their prognoses, hairbreadth escapes that defy death, chance meetings that change the course of a life. When the non-understandable happens, may I perceive it as just another of God's frequent miracles. My own death-defying miracle is witness enough for me.
Today I Will Remember - My life is a miracle.
Am I continually grateful for the miracle of my recovery?
Today I Pray - May my awareness of a Higher Power working in our lives grow in sensitivity as I learn, each day, of "coincidences" that defy statistics, illnesses that reverse their prognoses, hairbreadth escapes that defy death, chance meetings that change the course of a life. When the non-understandable happens, may I perceive it as just another of God's frequent miracles. My own death-defying miracle is witness enough for me.
Today I Will Remember - My life is a miracle.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Don't put off change!
June 27 - Little by little, I'm getting over my tendency to
procrastinate. I always used to put things off til tomorrow, and, of
course, they never got done. Instead of "Do it now," my motto was
"Tomorrow's another day." When I was in action, I had grandiose plans;
when I came down from my high, I was too busy getting over my depression
to start anything. I've learned in the Gamblers Anonymous Program that
it's far better to make a mistake once in a while than to never do
anything at all.
Am I learning to "do it now"?
Today I Pray - May God help me cure my habitual tardiness and "get me to the church on time." May I free myself of the self-imposed chaos of lifelong procrastination: library books overdue, appointments half-missed, assignments turned in late, schedules unmet, meals half-cooked.. May I be sure if I, as a compulsive gambler, led a disordered life, I , as a recovering compulsive gambler, need order. May God give me the serenity I need to restore order and organization to my daily living.
Today I Will Remember - I will not be put off by my dependency to put off.
Am I learning to "do it now"?
Today I Pray - May God help me cure my habitual tardiness and "get me to the church on time." May I free myself of the self-imposed chaos of lifelong procrastination: library books overdue, appointments half-missed, assignments turned in late, schedules unmet, meals half-cooked.. May I be sure if I, as a compulsive gambler, led a disordered life, I , as a recovering compulsive gambler, need order. May God give me the serenity I need to restore order and organization to my daily living.
Today I Will Remember - I will not be put off by my dependency to put off.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Grow or deteriorate?
June 26 - How many of us would presume to announce, "Well, I'm on my way
to licking the gambling habit. What more can I want, or do:? I'm fine
just the way I am." Experience has taught us that the price of such
smug complacency - or, more politely, self-satisfaction - is an
inevitable backslide, punctuated sooner or later by a very rude
awakening. We have to grow, or else we deteriorate. For us, the status
quo can only be for today, never for tomorrow. Change we must; we
can't stand still.
Am I sometimes tempted to rest on my laurels?
Today I Pray - May I look around me and see that all living things are either growing or deteriorating; nothing that is alive is static Life flows on. May I be carried along on that life-flow, unafraid of change, disengaging myself from the snags along the way that hold me back and interrupt my progress.
Today I Will Remember - Living is changing.
Am I sometimes tempted to rest on my laurels?
Today I Pray - May I look around me and see that all living things are either growing or deteriorating; nothing that is alive is static Life flows on. May I be carried along on that life-flow, unafraid of change, disengaging myself from the snags along the way that hold me back and interrupt my progress.
Today I Will Remember - Living is changing.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Free the Chains
June 25 - If I ever come to the complacent conclusion that I don't need
the Gamblers Anonymous Program any longer, let me quickly remind myself
that it can do far more than carry me through the anguish of living in
the bondage of the addiction. Let me further remind myself that I can
make even greater strides in fulfilling myself, for the Program and the
Twelve Steps is a philosophy - a way of life.
Will I ever outgrow my need for the GA Program?
Today I Pray - May my Higher Power lead me through the Twelve Steps, not just once, but again and again, until they become the guiding principles of my existence. This is no quickie seminar on improving the quality of my life; this is my life, restored to me through Divine Power and the friendship of my fellow gamblers, who, like me, are recovering in the best known way.
Today I Will Remember - Step by Step, from bondage to abundant life.
Will I ever outgrow my need for the GA Program?
Today I Pray - May my Higher Power lead me through the Twelve Steps, not just once, but again and again, until they become the guiding principles of my existence. This is no quickie seminar on improving the quality of my life; this is my life, restored to me through Divine Power and the friendship of my fellow gamblers, who, like me, are recovering in the best known way.
Today I Will Remember - Step by Step, from bondage to abundant life.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Liberation from gambling is just the beginning!
June 24 - The primary purpose of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is
freedom from compulsive gambling; without that freedom we have nothing.
But that doesn't mean I can say, for example, "Compulsive gambling is
my only concern. Except for that, I'm really a super person, so give me
freedom from gambling, and I've got it made." If I delude myself with
such specious nonsense, I'll make so little progress with my real life
problems and responsibilities that I'll likely return to my addiction.
That's why the Program's Twelfth Step urges us to "practice these
principles in all our affairs."
Am I living just to be free of the compulsion to gamble, or also to learn, to serve, and to love?
Today I Pray - May I relish and be grateful for my abstinence, which is where all good things begin. But let me not stop at that and give up trying to understand myself, the nature of God and of humanity. Freedom from addiction is the first freedom. May I be certain that there are more to come - freedom from tight-mindedness, from the unrest of bottled-up feelings, from over dependence on others, from a Godless existence. May the Program which answered my acute needs also answer my chronic ones.
Today I Will Remember - Liberation from gambling is just a beginning.
Am I living just to be free of the compulsion to gamble, or also to learn, to serve, and to love?
Today I Pray - May I relish and be grateful for my abstinence, which is where all good things begin. But let me not stop at that and give up trying to understand myself, the nature of God and of humanity. Freedom from addiction is the first freedom. May I be certain that there are more to come - freedom from tight-mindedness, from the unrest of bottled-up feelings, from over dependence on others, from a Godless existence. May the Program which answered my acute needs also answer my chronic ones.
Today I Will Remember - Liberation from gambling is just a beginning.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Don't become complacent in recovery
June 23 - Complacency is my enemy, easy to recognize in others, but
difficult to identify and accept in myself. Complacency simply means
being sure we're right - taking it for granted that we couldn't possibly
be wrong. It means, moreover, judging others by what we think is
right. It blocks out understanding and kindness, and seems to justify
qualities in ourselves that we'd find wholly intolerable in others.
Do I tend to assume that my views are always correct?
Today I Pray - God, please steer me past complacency, that state of being on dead center. When I am smug, I am no longer a seeker. If I assume I am always right, I am never on guard for my own mistakes, which can run away with me. Keep me teachable. Keep me growing, in heart, mind, and spirit.
Today I Will Remember - Complacency stunts growth.
Do I tend to assume that my views are always correct?
Today I Pray - God, please steer me past complacency, that state of being on dead center. When I am smug, I am no longer a seeker. If I assume I am always right, I am never on guard for my own mistakes, which can run away with me. Keep me teachable. Keep me growing, in heart, mind, and spirit.
Today I Will Remember - Complacency stunts growth.
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Don't be defensive
June 22 - The minute we think about a twisted or broken relationship
with another person, our emotions go on the defensive. To avoid looking
at the wrongs we've done another, we resentfully focus on the wrong he
or she has done us. With a sense of triumph, we seize upon his or her
slightest misbehavior as the perfect excuse for minimizing or forgetting
our own. We have to remember that we're not the only ones plagued by
sick emotions. Often, we're really dealing with fellow sufferers,
including those whose woes we've increased.
If I'm about to ask forgiveness for myself, why shouldn't I forgive the other person too?
Today I Pray - When I blame or fault-find, may my Higher Power tell me to look under the rug for my own feeling of guilt, which I have neatly swept under it. May I recognize these behavior clues for what they really are.
Today I Will Remember - Resentment, inside-out, is guilt.
If I'm about to ask forgiveness for myself, why shouldn't I forgive the other person too?
Today I Pray - When I blame or fault-find, may my Higher Power tell me to look under the rug for my own feeling of guilt, which I have neatly swept under it. May I recognize these behavior clues for what they really are.
Today I Will Remember - Resentment, inside-out, is guilt.
Friday, June 21, 2013
Free 12 step working journal
What to do this weekend? How about start really working on the 12 steps.
Download a free 12 Step Working Journal
https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B_j7i4AzzD9Qal8wZFJTeXBpVjA/edit?pli=1
Download a free 12 Step Working Journal
https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B_j7i4AzzD9Qal8wZFJTeXBpVjA/edit?pli=1
9th step amends
June 21 - "Direct" is a key word in the Ninth Step. There are times,
unfortunately, when many of us are hopeful that indirect amends will
suffice, sparing us the pain and supposed humiliation of approaching
people in person and telling them of our wrongs. This is evasion and
will never give us a true sense of breaking with the wrongdoing of the
past. It shows that we're still trying to defend something that isn't
worth defending, hanging on to conduct that we ought to abandon. The
usual reasons for sidestepping direct amends are pride and fear.
As I make amends to others, do I realize that the real, lasting benefits accrue to me?
Today I Pray - May I be sure that the best reward for coming on straight as I try to repair my damages is, after all, my own. But may I avoid making amends purely for my own benefit - to be forgiven, to be reinstated, to flaunt the "new me." Ego-puffing and people-pleasing are not part of the real "new me." God save m from opportunism.
Today I Will Remember - No puffery or people-pleasing.
As I make amends to others, do I realize that the real, lasting benefits accrue to me?
Today I Pray - May I be sure that the best reward for coming on straight as I try to repair my damages is, after all, my own. But may I avoid making amends purely for my own benefit - to be forgiven, to be reinstated, to flaunt the "new me." Ego-puffing and people-pleasing are not part of the real "new me." God save m from opportunism.
Today I Will Remember - No puffery or people-pleasing.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Honest with the right people
June 20 - When we take the Ninth Step, we must be willing to be
absolutely honest. Obviously, though, indiscriminate "absolute honesty"
would blow the room off many a house and entirely destroy some
relationships. We must hold nothing back through deceit and pride; we
may need to hold something back through discretion and consideration for
others. Just when and how we tell the truth - or keep silent - can
often reveal the difference between genuine integrity and none at all.
Am I grateful for the products of truth, which, through the grace of God, I have been privileged to receive?
Today I Pray - May I have the wisdom to know the fine line difference between tact and dishonesty. In my eagerness to make restitution, may I not be the charmer, the flatterer, or the crawler who insists, "You're so good, and I'm so bad." All are forms of dishonesty and hark back to the role-playing days of my active gambling addiction. May I recognize them.
Today I Will Remember - Tact is honest selectivity.
Am I grateful for the products of truth, which, through the grace of God, I have been privileged to receive?
Today I Pray - May I have the wisdom to know the fine line difference between tact and dishonesty. In my eagerness to make restitution, may I not be the charmer, the flatterer, or the crawler who insists, "You're so good, and I'm so bad." All are forms of dishonesty and hark back to the role-playing days of my active gambling addiction. May I recognize them.
Today I Will Remember - Tact is honest selectivity.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Making Amends is Key to recovery
June 19 - The Gamblers Anonymous Program teaches us that only one
consideration should qualify our desire to completely disclose the
damage we've done. And that's where a full revelation would seriously
harm the one to whom we're making amends - or, just as important, others
close to that person. We can hardly unload a detailed account of
extramarital misadventures, for example, on the shoulders of an
unsuspecting wife or husband. When we recklessly make the burdens of
others heavier, such actions surely can't lighten our own burden.
Sometimes, in that sense, "telling all" may be almost a self-indulgence
for us. So in making amends, we should be tactful, sensible,
considerate, and humble - without being servile.
As a child of God, do I stand on my feet and not crawl before anyone?
Today I Pray - May God show me that self-hatred has no role in making amends to others. Neither has the play-acting of self-indulgence. I ask most humbly for my Higher Power's guidance as I strive to maintain a mature balance in interpersonal relations, even in the most casual or fragile ones.
Today I Will Remember - Making amends is mending.
As a child of God, do I stand on my feet and not crawl before anyone?
Today I Pray - May God show me that self-hatred has no role in making amends to others. Neither has the play-acting of self-indulgence. I ask most humbly for my Higher Power's guidance as I strive to maintain a mature balance in interpersonal relations, even in the most casual or fragile ones.
Today I Will Remember - Making amends is mending.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Like yourself first
June 18 - I believe today that I have a right to make spiritual
progress. I have a right to be emotionally mature. I have a right to
take pleasure in my own company, and that makes me more pleasant to be
with. I also have a right to become willing - deeply willing, entirely
willing - to make amends to all those I've harmed. Because I can now
accept myself the way I am, I can accept other people the way they are -
not entirely, but to a much greater degree than in the past.
Have I begun to make friends with God, and thus with myself?
Today I Pray - May God show me that it's okay to like myself, even while trying to repair old wrongs and rebuild from splinters. May I keep telling myself that I am different now, I have changed. I am a better and wiser and healthier person. I have made some good choices. As this "new Person," may I find it easier to make atonement for what happened long ago and in another spiritual place. May those I have wronged also find it easier to accept my amends.
Today I Will Remember - It's okay to like myself.
Have I begun to make friends with God, and thus with myself?
Today I Pray - May God show me that it's okay to like myself, even while trying to repair old wrongs and rebuild from splinters. May I keep telling myself that I am different now, I have changed. I am a better and wiser and healthier person. I have made some good choices. As this "new Person," may I find it easier to make atonement for what happened long ago and in another spiritual place. May those I have wronged also find it easier to accept my amends.
Today I Will Remember - It's okay to like myself.
Monday, June 17, 2013
How to make direct amends when in recovery
June 17 - Readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts, and
to take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time, is
the very spirit of Step Nine. A casual apology on the one hand, will
rarely suffice in making amends to one we have harmed; a true change of
attitude, in contrast, can do wonders to make up for past unkindness.
If I've deprived anyone of any material thing, I'll acknowledge the debt
and pay it as soon as I'm able.
Will I swallow my pride and make the first overtures toward reconciliation?
Today I Pray - God, show me the best ways to make "direct amends." Sometimes simply admitting my mistakes may make it up to someone and unload my own simmering guilt. Other times restitution may take some creative thought. May I be wholly aware that I cannot take this Ninth Step unless I develop some caring, some real concern about how others feel, along with changes in my behavior.
Today I Will Remember - First I care, then I apologize.
Will I swallow my pride and make the first overtures toward reconciliation?
Today I Pray - God, show me the best ways to make "direct amends." Sometimes simply admitting my mistakes may make it up to someone and unload my own simmering guilt. Other times restitution may take some creative thought. May I be wholly aware that I cannot take this Ninth Step unless I develop some caring, some real concern about how others feel, along with changes in my behavior.
Today I Will Remember - First I care, then I apologize.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
GA 9th step is hard, but necessary
June 16 - The Ninth Step of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is: "Make
direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so
would injure them or others." To make restitution for the wrongs we've
done can be extremely difficult, to say the least; if nothing else, it
deflates our egos and batters our pride. Yet that in itself is a
reward, and such restitution can bring still greater rewards. When we
go to a person and say we're sorry, the reaction is almost invariably
positive. Courage is required, to be sure, but the results more than
justify the action.
Have I done my best to make all the restitution possible?
Today I Pray - May I count on my Higher Power to stop me if I start to crawl out from under my Ninth Step responsibility. May I feel that blessed, liberating wash of relief that goes with saying, out loud, to someone I have harmed, "I was wrong. I made mistakes. I am honestly sorry." May I not worry about cracking that brittle, cover-up crust of my ego, because the inside will be more mature.
Today I Will Remember - Restitution is blessed.
Have I done my best to make all the restitution possible?
Today I Pray - May I count on my Higher Power to stop me if I start to crawl out from under my Ninth Step responsibility. May I feel that blessed, liberating wash of relief that goes with saying, out loud, to someone I have harmed, "I was wrong. I made mistakes. I am honestly sorry." May I not worry about cracking that brittle, cover-up crust of my ego, because the inside will be more mature.
Today I Will Remember - Restitution is blessed.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Making Headway with Step 8 of Gamblers Anonymous
June 15 - Learning how to live in peace and partnership - with all men
and women - is a fascinating and often very moving adventure. But each
of us in Gamblers Anonymous has found that we're not able to make much
headway in our new adventure of living until we first take the time to
make an accurate and unsparing survey of the human wreckage we've left
in our wake.
Have I made a list of persons I have harmed, as Step Eight suggests, and become willing to make amends to them all?
Today I Pray - May God give me the honesty I need, not only to look inside myself and discover what is really there, but to see the ways that my sick and irresponsible behavior has affected those around me. May I understand that my addiction is not - as I used to think - a loner's disease, that, no matter how alone I felt, my lies and fabrications spread out around me in widening circles of hurt.
Today I Will Remember - Lies spread to infinity.
Have I made a list of persons I have harmed, as Step Eight suggests, and become willing to make amends to them all?
Today I Pray - May God give me the honesty I need, not only to look inside myself and discover what is really there, but to see the ways that my sick and irresponsible behavior has affected those around me. May I understand that my addiction is not - as I used to think - a loner's disease, that, no matter how alone I felt, my lies and fabrications spread out around me in widening circles of hurt.
Today I Will Remember - Lies spread to infinity.
Friday, June 14, 2013
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Honesty takes practice with recovering from gambling
June 14 - Somewhere along the line, as we become more involved in the
Gamblers Anonymous Program, we reach a sharp awareness of the
growth-value of honesty and candor. When this happens, one of the first
things we're able to admit is that our past behavior has been far from
sane or even reasonable. As soon as we can make this admission -
without shame or embarrassment - we find still another dimension of
freedom.
In my gradual recovery, am I expectant that life will become ever richer and ever more serene?
Today I Pray - May I know, even as I take that mighty First Step, which may be the first really honest move I have made in a long time, that honesty takes practice. My old, deluded, head-tripping self is as different from the honest self that I must become as night is from day. May I realize that it will take more than just one grey dawn to change me.
Today I Will Remember - Honesty takes practice.
In my gradual recovery, am I expectant that life will become ever richer and ever more serene?
Today I Pray - May I know, even as I take that mighty First Step, which may be the first really honest move I have made in a long time, that honesty takes practice. My old, deluded, head-tripping self is as different from the honest self that I must become as night is from day. May I realize that it will take more than just one grey dawn to change me.
Today I Will Remember - Honesty takes practice.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
GA Program works
June 13 - I don't believe that the Gamblers Anonymous Program and the
Twelve Steps work because I read it in a book, or because I hear other
people say so. I believe it because I see other people recovering and
because I know that I, too, and recovering. No longer do I believe that
I am "helpless and hopeless." When I see the change in other people
and in myself, I know that the Program works. when a television
reporter once asked the philosopher Jung if he believed in God, Jung
replied slowly, "I don't believe. I know."
Do I know that the Program works?
Today I Pray - Show me the happy endings, the mended lives, the reconstituted selves, the rebuilt bridges, so I will not have to accept on faith the fact that the program works. May I see it working - for others and for me. May I be grateful for the documented reality of the Program's success. May this certainty help me find the faith I need to follow the Twelve Steps.
Today I Will Remember - The Gamblers Anonymous Program works.
Do I know that the Program works?
Today I Pray - Show me the happy endings, the mended lives, the reconstituted selves, the rebuilt bridges, so I will not have to accept on faith the fact that the program works. May I see it working - for others and for me. May I be grateful for the documented reality of the Program's success. May this certainty help me find the faith I need to follow the Twelve Steps.
Today I Will Remember - The Gamblers Anonymous Program works.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Gamblers Learn to Forgive Themselves
June 12 - Many of us have had difficulty ridding ourselves of the
ravages of guilt. During the early days in the Gamblers Anonymous
Program, I either misunderstood certain parts of the Steps, or tried to
apply them too quickly and too eagerly. The result was that I increased
my feelings of guilt and worthlessness, rather than freeing myself as
the Steps intend. Soon, though, I became at least willing to forgive
myself, and I made a new beginning. I undertook all the soul searching
and cleansing Steps in our Program as they were intended to be taken,
and not from a below-ground position of crippling hate and guilt.
Have I made amends to myself?
Today I Pray - May I forgive myself, as God has forgiven me. May I know that if I am hanging on to an old satchel full of guilt, then I am not following the example God has shown me. If my Higher Power, who has demonstrated forgiveness by leading me to this healing place, can forgive me, then so can I. May I not begrudge myself what God has so generously offered.
Today I Will Remember - God forgives. So must I.
Have I made amends to myself?
Today I Pray - May I forgive myself, as God has forgiven me. May I know that if I am hanging on to an old satchel full of guilt, then I am not following the example God has shown me. If my Higher Power, who has demonstrated forgiveness by leading me to this healing place, can forgive me, then so can I. May I not begrudge myself what God has so generously offered.
Today I Will Remember - God forgives. So must I.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Part Good, Part Bad...Dont' make excuses for compulsive gambler
June 11 - Guilt is a cunning weapon in the armory of the compulsive
gambler. We can use the weapon against ourselves in many subtle ways;
it can be deftly wielded, for example, in an attempt to convince us that
the Gamblers Anonymous Program doesn't really work. I have to protect
myself constantly against guild and self-accusations concerning my
past. If necessary, I must constantly "re-forgive" myself, accepting
myself as a mixture of good as well as bad.
Am I striving for spiritual progress? Or will I settle for nothing less than the human impossibility of spiritual perfection?
Today I Pray - May I look inside myself now and then for any slow-burning, leftover guilt that can, when I'm unwary, damage my purpose. May I stop kicking myself and pointing out my own imperfections - all those lesser qualities which detract from the ideal and "perfect" me. May I no longer try to be unreachably, inhumanly perfect, but just spiritually whole.
Today I Will Remember - I am human - part good, part not-so-good.
Am I striving for spiritual progress? Or will I settle for nothing less than the human impossibility of spiritual perfection?
Today I Pray - May I look inside myself now and then for any slow-burning, leftover guilt that can, when I'm unwary, damage my purpose. May I stop kicking myself and pointing out my own imperfections - all those lesser qualities which detract from the ideal and "perfect" me. May I no longer try to be unreachably, inhumanly perfect, but just spiritually whole.
Today I Will Remember - I am human - part good, part not-so-good.
Monday, June 10, 2013
Name, Claim, Dump!
June 10 - When I least expect it, my keen addictive mind will try to
divert me back toward my old ideas and old ways. My mind is expert, in
fact, at planting and nourishing negative feelings within me - feelings
such as envy, fear, anxiety, or guilt. The minute I spot any of these
poisonous feelings rising up, I have to deal with them. If not, the
more I think about them, the stronger they'll get; the stronger they
get, the more I'll think about them - to the point of obsession.
When negative feelings arise, do I "name them, claim them, and dump them"?
Today I Pray - I should know - and may I never forget - that a sure way to let my feelings get the best of me is to pretend they aren't there. Like spoiled offspring, they act up when they are ignored. But also like offspring, they are here, they are mine, and I am responsible for them. May I learn to pay attention to my feelings, even if sometimes I would rather make believe they didn't belong to me.
Today I Will Remember - Name them, claim them, dump them.
When negative feelings arise, do I "name them, claim them, and dump them"?
Today I Pray - I should know - and may I never forget - that a sure way to let my feelings get the best of me is to pretend they aren't there. Like spoiled offspring, they act up when they are ignored. But also like offspring, they are here, they are mine, and I am responsible for them. May I learn to pay attention to my feelings, even if sometimes I would rather make believe they didn't belong to me.
Today I Will Remember - Name them, claim them, dump them.
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Real Humility and Dramatic Put Downs?
June 9 - Some of us, new in Gamblers Anonymous, couldn't resist telling
anyone who would listen just how "terrible" we were. Just as we often
exaggerated our modest accomplishments by pride, so we exaggerated our
defects through guild. Racing about and "confessing all," we somehow
considered the widespread exposure of our sins to be true humility,
considering it a great spiritual asset. Only as we grew in the Program
did we realize that our theatrics and storytelling were merely forms of
exhibitionism. And with that realization came the beginning of a
certain amount of humility.
Am I starting to become aware that I'm not so important, after all?
Today I Pray - May I learn that there is a chasm of difference between real humility and the dramatic self-put-down. May I be confronted if I unconsciously demand center-stage to out-do and out-risk others with my gambling stories. May I be cautious that the accounts of my addictive misdeeds do not take on the epic grandeur of heroic exploits. May I avoid the bordering on prideful "game-ologue."
Today I Will Remember - I will not star in my own "game-ologue."
Am I starting to become aware that I'm not so important, after all?
Today I Pray - May I learn that there is a chasm of difference between real humility and the dramatic self-put-down. May I be confronted if I unconsciously demand center-stage to out-do and out-risk others with my gambling stories. May I be cautious that the accounts of my addictive misdeeds do not take on the epic grandeur of heroic exploits. May I avoid the bordering on prideful "game-ologue."
Today I Will Remember - I will not star in my own "game-ologue."
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Regret or Guilt?
June 8 - A friend in Gamblers Anonymous taught me to look at excessive
guilt in an entirely new way, suggesting that guilt was nothing but a
sort of reverse pride. A decent regret for what has happened is fine,
he said. But guilt, no. I've since learned that condemning ourselves
for mistakes we've made is just as bas as condemning others for theirs.
We're not really equipped to make judgements, even of ourselves.
Do I still sometimes "beat myself to death" when I appear to be failing?
Today I Pray - May I be wary of keeping my guilty role alive long after I should have left it behind. May I know the difference between regret and guilt. May I recognize that long-term guilt may imply an exaggerated idea of my own importance, as well as present self-righteousness. May God alone be my judge.
Today I Will Remember - Guilt may be pride in reverse.
Do I still sometimes "beat myself to death" when I appear to be failing?
Today I Pray - May I be wary of keeping my guilty role alive long after I should have left it behind. May I know the difference between regret and guilt. May I recognize that long-term guilt may imply an exaggerated idea of my own importance, as well as present self-righteousness. May God alone be my judge.
Today I Will Remember - Guilt may be pride in reverse.
Friday, June 7, 2013
Dealing with guilt when recovering from gambling addiction
June 7 - Few of us are entirely free from a sense of guilt. We may feel
guilty for things we've said or done - of things we've left unsaid or
undone. We're so used to that gnawing guilt that even when we're
accused falsely we still feel guilty. When I'm troubled by naggings of
guilt, obviously I can't put into my day all the energy I'm capable of.
So I must rid myself of guilt - not by pushing it aside or ignoring it,
but by identifying it and correcting the cause.
Have I finally begun to learn to "Keep It Simple?"
Today I Pray - Since guilt is such a familiar feeling for a compulsive gambler, may I learn to understand when my feelings are simply natural regret at what has happened and when I am taking on a pose of perpetual guilt. I count on God to help me sort out and get rid of these twinges and pangs of guilt, which need to be recognized and unloaded.
Today I Will Remember - The verdict of guilty is not for life.
Have I finally begun to learn to "Keep It Simple?"
Today I Pray - Since guilt is such a familiar feeling for a compulsive gambler, may I learn to understand when my feelings are simply natural regret at what has happened and when I am taking on a pose of perpetual guilt. I count on God to help me sort out and get rid of these twinges and pangs of guilt, which need to be recognized and unloaded.
Today I Will Remember - The verdict of guilty is not for life.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Learn to Let Go
June 6 - Adjusting myself to things as they are, and being able to love
without trying to interfere with or control anyone else, however close
to me - that's one of the important things I search and can find in
Gamblers Anonymous. The learning is sometimes painful; however, the
reward is life itself - full and serene.
Is the Program helping restore me to a sane and reasonable way of thinking, so I can handle my interpersonal relationships with love and understanding?
Today I Pray - May I respect those that I love enough to set them free - to stop controlling, manipulating, scheming, bailing them out of trouble. May I love them enough to let them make their own mistakes and take responsibility for them. May I learn to let go.
Today I Will Remember - Loving is letting go.
Is the Program helping restore me to a sane and reasonable way of thinking, so I can handle my interpersonal relationships with love and understanding?
Today I Pray - May I respect those that I love enough to set them free - to stop controlling, manipulating, scheming, bailing them out of trouble. May I love them enough to let them make their own mistakes and take responsibility for them. May I learn to let go.
Today I Will Remember - Loving is letting go.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Now back to regular scheduled programming...
Thank you for your patience in the lapse of postings. I especially appreciate those email followers who have contacted me to make sure all is okay. And it is. I've had a busy month and a half with work and family things. I've even missed more meetings this past month than all year last year. But it's not because I've been sitting at a video poker machine, thank my Higher Power! It's because after a year and a half of intense recovery, I was able to take a few breaks away and not be afraid I would slip. I made a decision to focus on a few pressing work things and all those darn Little League games have been filling up my time. Last game is tomorrow and work has settled and I'm back....
So no longer do you have to Stand By! I am rejuvenated, ready to post, and super ready to hear from readers! Email me at switzylynn@gmail.com if you have things you want me to post! I need material.
One day at a time...
So no longer do you have to Stand By! I am rejuvenated, ready to post, and super ready to hear from readers! Email me at switzylynn@gmail.com if you have things you want me to post! I need material.
One day at a time...
The message is the meaning to recovering from gambling
June 5 - The Gamblers Anonymous Program teaches me that not too many
people can truthfully assert that they love everybody. Most of us have
to admit that we've loved only a few, and that we've been quite
indifferent to many. As for the rest, well, we've really disliked or
hated them. We in Gamblers Anonymous find we need something much better
than this in order to keep our balance. The idea that we can be
possessively loving of a few, can ignore the many, and can continue to
fear or hate anyone at all, has to be abandoned - if only a little at a
time.
At meetings, do I concentrate on the message rather than the messenger?
Today I Pray - May I understand that there is no place in my recovery from compulsive gambling - or in my entire life - for toxic hatred or lackadaisical indifference. One of the most important positive ideas that I must carry with me is that all humans, as the children of God, make up a loving brother-and sisterhood. May I find it hard to hate a brother or sister.
Today I Will Remember - Hear the message. Don't judge the messenger.
At meetings, do I concentrate on the message rather than the messenger?
Today I Pray - May I understand that there is no place in my recovery from compulsive gambling - or in my entire life - for toxic hatred or lackadaisical indifference. One of the most important positive ideas that I must carry with me is that all humans, as the children of God, make up a loving brother-and sisterhood. May I find it hard to hate a brother or sister.
Today I Will Remember - Hear the message. Don't judge the messenger.
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