Thursday, June 21, 2012

Trickiness of the 9th Step

June 21 - "Direct" is a key word in the Ninth Step.  There are times, unfortunately, when many of us are hopeful that indirect amends will suffice, sparing us the pain and supposed humiliation of approaching people in person and telling them of our wrongs.  This is evasion and will never give us a true sense of breaking with the wrongdoing of the past.  It shows that we're still trying to defend something that isn't worth defending, hanging on to conduct that we ought to abandon.  The usual reasons for sidestepping direct amends are pride and fear.

As I make amends to others, do I realize that the real, lasting benefits accrue to me?

Today I Pray - May I be sure that the best reward for coming on straight as I try to repair my damages is, after all, my own.  But may I avoid making amends purely for my own benefit - to be forgiven, to be reinstated, to flaunt the "new me."  Ego-puffing and people-pleasing are not part of the real "new me."  God save m from opportunism.

Today I Will Remember - No puffery or people-pleasing.

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