May 20 - Compulsive gambling is a lonely disease; although it may have seemed that we were part of the lights and action crowd, we were often tortured by loneliness. Even before the end of our gambling days - before the debts and guild showed us how unmanageable our lives had become - nearly all of us felt that we didn't quite belong. Either we were basically shy, or we were noisy good fellows craving attention and approval, but rarely getting it. Though we sought through the seeming sociability of gambling to overcome our loneliness, reckless risk was always lonely. Finally, even the Game itself betrayed us; we were struck down and left in terrified isolation.
Have I begun to achieve an inner calm?
Today I Pray - May I know the tenderness of an intimate relationship with God and the calm I feel when I touch God's spirit. May I translate this tenderness and calm to my relationships with others. May God deliver me from my lifelong feeling of loneliness and show me how to be a friend.
Today I Will Remember - God can teach me to be a friend.
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