May 17 - If we feel guilty, degraded, or ashamed of either our addiction itself or the things we did while "in action," that served to magnify our feelings of being outcasts. On occasion, we secretly feared or actually believed that we deserved every painful feeling; we thought, at times, that we truly were outsiders. The dark tunnel of our lives seemed formidable and unending. We couldn't even voice our feelings and could hardly bear to think about them. So we soon gambled again.
Do I remember well what it used to be like?
Today I Pray - May I remember how often, during my gambling days, I felt alone with my shame and guilt. The phony jollity of a gambling party or the shallow relationships struck up at a casino could not keep me from feeling like an outsider. May I appreciate the chance to make new friends through the Fellowship. May I know that my relationships now will be saner, less dependent, more mature.
Today I Will Remember - Thank God for new friends.
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